Since I was about 12-13 I started lying. Lying about everything. Big and small. I told people everything from the fact I had a twin brother, my dad had died to little things like what I had for dinner. People say its easy and I should just stop but I find it really hard. I dont do it with any malice at all I dont sit and plan it it just happens. I hate being like this. I always no what im saying is a lie but I know on a different level first and formost in my mind is that its true. I live speak and breath the lie. I told my boyfriend that my dad and brother died I believed this so much that I would have nightmare every night and scream out there names in my sleep. Like I said I no that there all lies but that fact gets buried deep inside me just a passing thought and the lie becomes real. Its really hard to explain. These lies have ruined my life ive hurt everyone I no ive lost all my friends my children the only member of my family that talks to me is my dad and I almost lost my boyfriend. He said hes going to stick by me till im better. Please what is wrong with me I need help I need to no whats wrong with me. Also can you tell me what to do about depression obviously I feel alienated at the moment and its making me very depressed I even tried to commit suicide once what should I do about this
This is something you are not going to be able to do alone. You are going to have to have professional help in order to get your life together. You stated you have been telling lies from a very young age and these lies have progressed to the stage you actually believe them. This is not a healthy mind thing! Telling a lie can actually be a cry for help or a cry for the need to be recognized. Depression will not get any better either without help. Not srue where you are, but here in hte us there are several places a person can go for psychological help. Its not anything you need to feel ashamed about, you have cried out for help here! Thats the first step.......Admitting you have a problem. I hope you find your answers!
Our brains can do crazy things and we learn through patterns. If you have been lieing since you were young you will probably need professional help in training your brain to do things differently.
I agree that seeking out a professional is the best option. Its great that you are self aware enough to see this as a problem and begin looking for a solution.
You definitely want to deal with the depression. If you are in a place where you are hating yourself and thinking about yourself in a negative light, then depression can really REALLY be a doosey. Luckily antidepressents can help get rid of the depression feelings and hey, who knows maybe medication could help control your impulses and decrease the lying factor. Good luck...I know its hard but keep looking for answers and don't give up on yourself!