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Adoption..?

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Hey there everyone. Things seemed to be goin great..Well, that changed. My parents are takin things hard again all of a sudden. Dan dropped out to get his ged. I cant take the stress...A woman called me today calling "first dibs" on my baby. Her husband had cancer and no agency will allow them to adopt. I honestly dont think I can do it anymore. I cant even do my own laundry. Im helpless.. And today dan told me "i give up." I was not prepared for this, and def. Not on my own. I think it would be an honorable decision but I am scared.. Sad my life is only guna get better...Eternity is waitin

love mol
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replied January 29th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I really wish I had some good advice, but all I can say is take things 1 day at a time and remember that everything does get better with time.
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replied January 29th, 2004
Especially eHealthy
Hey
Sweetie,
do you want to give up your baby. It is hard. I know that. But if you want that baby like I believe it was kelly said "anything worth having is worth working hard for". You can do it.
Love,
chanda
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replied January 29th, 2004
Experienced User
I will tell you now, when you hold your baby for the first time, strike that, when you hear that little gasp, then that little cry, it is the most life altering thing in the entire world. Though alyssa has me so worn out and she is only 3 days old, I couldn't have given her up. Just think about it before you make your final decision hun!

Hanna and alyssa
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with almost everyone on here, and they are my girls. But I do have to say something well actually I want to ask you something. What do you want? Do you want to keep the baby? What is your story? I personally dont believe in adoption but if it your last choice I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. I hope that everything works out for you. I cant say that I will be here for you to really talk to on this one, because I am not sure how I feel. Good luck in the future!!

*stacie*
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replied January 30th, 2004
Experienced User
Molly,
hi, I am 19 years old and I will be 23 weeks pregnant tomorrow. When I first got the news that I was pregnant, it was the happiest day of my life. My fiancee and I had been trying for a baby for about 4 or 5 months. When I did find out that I was pregnant, I had what my doctor called a threatened miscarriage. For the next 3 months, I had to be so careful, I was bed ridden most of the day, I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize our baby’s health. So I didn’t, 3 months passed and my baby was still there, happy and healthy. At 17 weeks, I found out that I was carrying a little boy. I couldn’t have been any happier and I didn’t think that anything could shatter that happiness. Just a week later, my fiancee of 11 months came to me and said that he didn’t want to marry me or be with my son or me. He started to deny paternity of him saying that there is no way, that I must have cheated on him. And of course I didn’t, I loved this man. Come to find out only 2 weeks ago that the reason he was leaving me was so that he could marry some bimbo in a vegas chapel only 3 days after leaving me. I graduated high school in 2001 on honors of recognition, the top 1% of my class, I was saludictorian (2nd of my graduating class) with a full scholarship to go to the university of my choice and become a doctor. I began college in the spring of 2002 and continued through until I became pregnant, when I professor suggested that I just take some time to enjoy my pregnancy and my fiancee, so I did. Now look at me, I will have a newborn, an unfinished dream and I will have to work. I cannot do both schooling to be a doctor, work enough hours and support this baby. And although this may seem like a bad decision for some of you, I have decided that my best option would be to put him up for open adoption. Though it may seem selfish, I don’t want even a part of me to blame my son for me not being able to go back to college. The family that I have found to adopt him is so loving. They have a 5 year old daughter and because of a bad c-section with her, they are no longer able to have children and they wanted 5 or 6. They have stable careers, they are good to each other and best of all they have been happily married for 13 years. I think they are incredible and their daughter is so lucky to have them and I know that my son will be too. I know that adoption is so hard to think about, but you need to think about not just the next few months, but the next 18 years of both of your lives.


Hilary
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I hope that I didnt offend you from saying what I said, I just have a certain way of feeling about things.. I hope that I have not offended any of the girls on this site. I love you all very much. I am sorry..Loads of love, stacie
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Hey! Im sure there is a great family that would love your baby more than anything like it was their own! I would love to adopt your baby! You have to make your decision if you can do it and try or let another family get the privelage. Im sorry your in a bind right now. If you need anyone to talk to im here!
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Hey hun. . . I think what your thinking about is very mature. (how old r u by the way, and how far along again?) anyhow. . Basically u cant think about yourself anymore.. U have to think about only the baby and what u believe will be best for it. If u think adoption is the way then thats great too. There are sooo many peoople who cant have kids and would die to adopt so I think that decisision is a very unselfish one.. Doing whats best for your baby is what makes u the best mom.. Wether u raise it or not* hilary, the same goes to you, adoption is never a bad decision if u think its right for your baby. Where r u both from?
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replied January 30th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
Hey there..Hilary thats so awesome what you're going to do with your life..And I honestly respect it...Well I am 23 or so weeks..And im 16 years old.

I have grown up in your typical "athletic, church family, missionary brothers and sisters home." my sister went through her rough stage with drugs and alchol and my brother was mr. Perfect. I was born 10 years after the both of them as a mistake and I became the "permiscuious" daughter..(mind u,ive only been with one guy) I love danny to death, but i'm not sure if hes ready to be the daddy she needs. He got kicked out of school for missing so much. Sure, hes going to get his g.E.D. And everything, but he doesnt seem too motivated...

Its been so rough with my family because they wanted so much for me. Im notttt saying I dont love this little girl inside of me already, but I want her to have a good life, and im not quite sure I can give her a stable one. Sure, acting on my emotions i'll say "this is my baby, no one elses, no one can love her like I do." and for the most part...Thats true..But I think maybe even a better way of showing her I love her is to give her the best life I can...Even if it's not with me.

As a rededicated christian I pray for her every day, and im confident god has a perfect plan for her life. I pray for wisdom, and that he'll give me the strength I need to make the right decision for her.

Sure, i'd love to go to a performing arts school to pursue my career as a choreographer, and I have dreams, but if I am truely meant to be the one to raise her...So be it.

I guess I just need prayers and advice from whoever possible. You girls are soooo awesome and nothing you have said is offensive...Especially considering that many of you have children already, and are doing fine..Which is such an inspiration...

So imana let ya'all go now...But any thoughts on the idea are very much appreciated.

Love molly
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied January 30th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Molly im glad you are praying about this! Its the best thing to do. You dont know gods plan but whatever it is, it will work out fine. I know you love this baby so much and because you do, you want her to have the best life! Just keep praying and youll get your answer!!
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