Medical Abortion Forum - I Need to Talk to Someone Who Can Relate, Please

Abortion > Medical Abortion Forum > I Need to Talk to Someone Who Can Relate, Please

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Q: I Need to Talk to Someone Who Can Relate, Please

asked by: Amber_Irene on November 3rd, 2006

New User

I'm new & this is my first post on ehealth.

I'm losing it, going off the deep end fast. I had an abortion almost 3-yrs-ago, at the age of 18-yrs. Old. I was at the time 10 wks. Pregnant.

I'll be 21-yrs. Old next month & for some reason, i'm struggling w/ the lose of my baby moreso than before. Perhaps, it could be due to the fact that a lot of my friends are becoming parents? I feel as if I should have beat them to it.

I need to talk to someone who understands & shares my pain. I try talking to my friends & my boyfriend, but nobody seems to really understand. They listen, but they can't relate.

I feel dead on the inside. I'm so unemotional & numb. I'm jealous & angry. I'm not me anymore, I haven't been for a long time. I changed so much after the abortion, I slowly became lifeless. I've reached an all time low.

I suffer from depression, but I can't say if it's been inside of me all my life or if it's b/c of my lose. I think the abortion just brought it out more. I have attempted suicide once & played w/ death a couple of times since my psycho ward release. I'm not a crazy person, i'm just suffering from a whole lot of pain. I really need to talk to someone.

Please, if you feel comfortable about talking w/ me, im me: mischievousbabie.

I feel so alone, and I know i'm not.

Exclamation

amber

Replies(10)

Carifairy

replied on November 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Your friends are also older than you were at the time of your abortion.

Did you have money? A car? Health insurance? Your own house?

Noone should feel the need to beat anyone to parenthood, parenthood is not a game, it is a responsibility! You should have children when you can take care of them and afford them, children deserve better than poverty.

diamondsz

replied on November 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

carifairy wrote:

your friends are also older than you were at the time of your abortion.

Did you have money? A car? Health insurance? Your own house?

Noone should feel the need to beat anyone to parenthood, parenthood is not a game, it is a responsibility! You should have children when you can take care of them and afford them, children deserve better than poverty.

i agree with cairifairy on this one

another thing people who suffer from depression usually suffer pretty bad after abortion for a few days, basically like baby blues after giving birth. If it is longer than 2 weeks you need to talk to your Dr.

The reason for those feelings could be due to an increase/drop of your hormones and sometimes going on the pill will mellow you out!

Depression is suffered by alot of moms or people who had an abortion and it is okay but can be controlled with medical guidance and medication majority of the time.

I had really bad post partum depression and I needed help for two months just take that step to a drs office please!

sandyallen

replied on November 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Welcome to the abortion support forum! I very much agree with the others! You did what was right at the time and you must forgive yourself and move on, I know that it is not always an easy thing to do for a lot of females especially when you are in such a depressed state and attempting ssuicide is not the answer as their are people that love you and think about what you are doing to them. I am not a dr but I do know that most people need help sometime or other in there lifetime and their is nothing to be ashamed of. The time will probably come that you might meet someone special that you might want to have a child or adopt one as their are many out there that need love and a home but you have to learn to love yourself before others can love you and maybe by seeking some professional help you can get there and we are here for you too!

diamondsz

replied on November 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Well said sandyallen!!!

We all come from different backgrounds so none of us could have expierence it the way you did but like I said any down feeling after two weeks should require a dr appt.

Sand hit something dead on on though " how can you love someone when you dont love yourself" so tommorrow get up and do something for yourself and dont let anyone get you down. Hanging around with positive people will also get you in a better mood so try having a girls night or something.

We all deserve to have time to ourselves/to be loved/to be comforted but it all starts in you!

Rach7676

replied on November 6th, 2006

New User

I Understand

I know exactly how you are feeling.

I am suffering from post abortion depression. I am noticing babies on the street more, it feels like everytime I read a magazine it is about someone having a baby and a happy life and I feel like I have lost my chance. Having a baby in the future will not make up for what I have lost.

I am a little worried I am going crazy, I have the urge to run backto the hospital and say put the babies (twins) back.

As soon as I woke from the operation I was crying. I was forced into it by my boyfriend. Who now refuses to sleep with my because he thinks I will get pregnant on purpose again. I have tried to explain that nothing can replace what I have lost.

Practically it was the best think to do, I am not in a position to raise twins alone who will be fatherless as he lives in a different county and would not support me at all, however I still feel very sad and guilty about the situation.

No amount of "you did the right thing" can make me feel better.

Tylanas

replied on November 6th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

It'll be alright, rach Smile

take healing from whatever source comforts you. You will have another chance someday to be a mother, remember that!

I am extremely sorry you were forced to abort; that's an awful thing in my mind.

whyme98

replied on February 15th, 2009

New User

Abortion

I am in the situation now where I am 16 years old and already have a nine month old son. I am 4 weeks pregnant and I do not know what to do. My boyfriend says it all up to me but I feel that I am on the spot to choose to take an innocent life. I realy do not want another child and adoption would never be a option for me. HELP!

motherofhighspiritedones

replied on February 15th, 2009

Moderator

Re: Abortion

whyme98 wrote:

You do what is best for you. No one on here can tell you what to do. You say that you cannot abort but adoption would never be an option for you. And parenting another child seems out of the question as well. First of all, why are you not using some form of birth control? And if you are but it is failing, why are you not looking for another type? Secondly, YOU ARE on the spot for EACH choice you make because, sadly you and you alone are going to have to make that decision because it is YOU that has to carry that fetus. You need to think EVERY option through. Weigh the pros and cons. You need to ask yourself if you could live with adoption more than you could live with abortion. By this I mean, living with the emotional outcomes of each. Only you can make the decision. Perhaps someone else on here can better relay what I am trying to say.

HandBagDiva

replied on March 5th, 2009

New User

U feel quilty, let it go. Talk to God & ask for forgiveness.. Do u regret that abortion? If u still regret maybe u shouldn't have had it. @ the time, were u Ready to become a Mother? Was the Father in the picture?? How were ur finances??

jasmincherrie

replied on September 9th, 2009

New User

Regretful abortion

I had an abortion 3 weeks ago, I wanted the baby more than anything but after 6 weeks of not eating, constantly throwing up and losing 17 kilo, I knew i had to terminate!! I was 10 weeks when i went in for the d/c. I honestly just want to curl up and die, I dont understand why i was so sick?? everyone said it would get easier but it never did, my mum said it was like waching her father when he was dying of cancer!! Why was i so sick? The docs had no answers which made me mad.. I guess i was just mad in general because i knew deep down i had to go through with the abortion!! I thought I would be ok after the d/c but it just got worse from there!! I was left with a massive infection so i have to go for abother d/c next week. Its like this emotional roller coaster is never ever going to end. Its so hard seeing all the happy pregnant women walking around, rubbing there bellys, and its especially hard when i have a friend who is pregnant. When will i get my chance again?? Never? who knows!! I just need someone to talk to, that knows exacly what im going through!

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