Just Got Divored... And Dating Someone Posted: 01-29-04 16:56pm
He's very serious with me.... Too soon
!!!
I really enjoy his company... But he
smokes, and I hate that. He told me he
would quit, he has no intentions to do so.
He's also very insecure and telling me
he loves me already. It's freaking me
out.
Had him over for dinner a few times; it's
just not someone I wish to see further;
but don't wish to hurt him.
Any advice for a clean break would be
helpful.
Thanks.
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mike101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 134 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: 01-29-04 18:23pm
There is no magic formula for avoid
potential hurt, however you can minimize
his potential distress by:
1. Dealing with the situation sooner
rather than later, as longer investments
of time in a relationship tend to make
clean breaks more difficult.
2. If he is insecure, don't make the
break about him (even if it is) this tends
to prompt the 'i'll change response'. It
is better to indicate (if asked) that you
need an opportunity to focus on your
health and well being in a singular sense
3. Finally it is not advisable to
continue the relationship in a friendship
mode as this often sends a mixed message
to people who are insecure.
Mike
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manfat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 28
Posted: 01-30-04 12:24pm
Mikes advice is good, but avoid "its not
you" speeches, also ask his feelings after
you tell him, avoid raising your voice if
poss and if you don't know this guy well,
do it in a quiet but public place. Above
all, leave no doubt!
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Guest
Guest
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
? Posted: 02-01-04 10:32am
Hi there, if you haven't been serious with
the person
just explain you are newly divorced and
don't wish to get in to anything right now
. And don't go back to that
person.Otherwise you'll be back where you
started from.
Believe me I know!!!!!!
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san54
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2003 Posts: 227 Location: Virginia
Dating Right After Divorce Posted: 02-01-04 11:41am
Just tell him it is too soon to be
serious. That you need some alone
time.
It sounds like he is very needy and you
don't need that right now. Good luck
