Bipolar Disorder Forum - Depression And Social Skills Deficit

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Q: Depression And Social Skills Deficit

asked by: crush on November 2nd, 2006

New User

Hi all :d i've been depressed for over 10 years and I think I have some learning disabilities which I think is the true cause of my depression. My doc says I don't have any learning disabilities cos I can speak in japanese. But I read some books on learning disabilities and a lot of the descriptions can be applyed to me, such as: I cannot function socially, I have difficulty orchestrating knowledge, I don't understand the social cues, I lack adaptability and flexibility, etc.Etc.. And I had some kind of socail phobias, cos i'm afraid of making stupid mistakes in front of other ppl, and as a result I withdrew from society and spend time at home, doing nothing Crying or Very sad

i'm on meds, and I think they're working cos i'm getting better, but I haven't done anything about my social skills deficit. When I was in the hospital I often attended a class teaching socail skills(sst), but not really helping. I need to get bogged down in detail, rather than just talking about how to communicate, which isn't really usuful in day to day situations. I don't undertand instinctly what is right in most social situations so I tend to say or do the wrong thing. And that's really embarrassing and I end up feeling stupid and helpless. Nobody would teach you how to do or react to something in socail situations cos everyone is thought to know such things. I feel like I don't have the social skills program that everyone else seems to have. That leads to depression and low self esteem, and depression makes me awkward in social stuations. It's really a vicious cycle. Does anybody have the same probs Question

Replies(7)

Balch

replied on December 12th, 2006

New User

Don't Give Up Hope

Don't give up hope. Maybe the symptoms you have merely due to lack of social skills. I advise you to compare what I listed below with your symptoms of bipolar disorder to see whether you truly suffer from bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder characterized by alternating states of depression and mania that follow each other in a repeating cycle.

People with bipolar disorder may cycle through these states quickly or may experience long periods of depression or mania. Often one mood state predominates, while the other occurs only infrequently or briefly.

Symptoms of the elevated mood stage of bipolar disorder include an exaggerated sense of confidence and well-being, racing thoughts, excessive talking, distractibility, increased desire for pleasurable activity, decreased need for sleep, impulsivity, irritability, and impairment in judgment. The depressed phase includes symptoms of sadness, fatigue, pessimism, feelings of helplessness, low self-esteem, and loss of interest in life, possibly with thoughts of suicide.

Marlin1

replied on April 15th, 2008

New User

I understand how you feel

I think I understand how you feel. Its hard to make real friends when you lack Social skills to even calmy talk to them. I have times when I am able to talk to people calmly and friendly, and then there are times when I have difficulty simply looking them in the eye. Sometimes I feel uneasy around people cause I'm afraid that I may be looking bad or I might be staring at them for to long or something. All those thoughts race through my head and make me uncomfortable and it seems to transfer to whoever I am talking to or looking at and I can tell.

It depresses me when I see others who are able to get along so easily with others, while I cant even look at someone before them and I start feeling uncomfortable. And even when I feel like I've gotten some friends and feel like I've conquered it, Everything goes down hill again and right back to where they used to be, with me being a stranger, and then not caring.

username4

replied on April 24th, 2008

New User

I do not think you have a learning disorder. Could it be from suffering for the past 10 years from depression.
I know that when i was depressed for over a year span it felt like my life was on hold.
I was actually always socially accepted in sports, prom court and bla bla bla. But when I was depressed I had no social skills. Gained tons of weight, was isolated and just did not even know how to talk, or how to or what to talk about with people. So i would let all of my calls go to voice mail. Would do nothing.
Anyways, I just think that you seem like a really cool person and that maybe you do worry a little-but thats so normal. Everyone has anxiety or nervousness. Some people that look like they never worry and like they have it all together--you'd be surprised by their story I'm sure.
It is hard to have a high self esteem when you worry a lot. I totally hear you on that. I just try to think to myself. Who cares what people think, and if they are not cool or understanding--there not worth having in my life then anyways.
SOrry I am rambling again. Also, when looking in those disorder books or the DSM...it is easy to categorize yourself in so many different disorders. Also, its easy to label others that you know too. I would say to try to not look at all those descriptions too much. Its good to be proactive but then what if you don't have a problem and your labeling yourself.

antigone

replied on April 24th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

A true learning disorder is characterized by an inability to perform some skills in reading, math, language skills etc. and to have normal to above normal intelligence levels. Other areas of learning seem to be unaffected unless the deficit touches into that area of learning. My son has a learning disability in reading. He can not decode words. This affects many areas of learning, as you can well imagine. He has an amazing memory. If he hears the material as opposed to reading it, he can tell you what was read verbatim. He is above average intelligence but unable to read. This is a classic example of LD but many variations exist.

There are specific tests for LD. Just because you are able to learn a foreign language does not exclude the possibility of a learning disability. You describe many of the social issues my son faces. I am not an expert in this area. I can only speak of what I see in my son. Perhaps seeing a psychologist would be of benefit.
I have another son that has bipolar disorder and he is unable to read social cues. This deficit is associated with the prefrontal cortex and is seen in people with bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, and other disorders that involve the frontal lobe. It may be worth investigating this with a psychologist. Find someone who has knowledge of the above disorders. They could help you sort this out.

illectronic

replied on May 4th, 2008

New User

Re: I understand how you feel

Marlin1 wrote:

I am going through this now. Last week I felt like I was really hitting it off with this girl. I was calm, and everything felt natural. Starting this weekend, I was too depressed to go out. Even worse, I acted weird in front of the same girl today, and I probably lost my chances with her. I'm 23, still in school. No job. Not many friends. *SIGH*.

diamondtv

replied on March 7th, 2009

New User

Hey

I don't think I have that illness you speak about but I just wanna tell you dont give up, and keep trying and I hope someday you can meet real friends that will accept you as you are. Since you don't have many friends, we can be friends if you want.

boaltady

replied on March 15th, 2009

New User

I HOPE THIS HELPS

My husband is bipolar and moderate depression as long as we have been married [33 yrs]and i'm sure longer as family describes. he has very poor social skills and keeps only a very few friends if he is lucky. i was depressed as a teen, but now i strugle not with depression but sorrow trying to cope and keep our mariage together,
***a wise person once told me the secreat to having people like you, is they should feel better after talking to you, than they did before they talked to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't worry about how you look or sound! do you wory about what others look or sound like? or do you worry about what they might need, what support you could provide them, encuragement, acknoledgement, a true compliment, and do not just blow smoke, it needs to be true and genuine.
just try it, you will feel better and i'm sure all the great people will se how great you are. you get out of life what you put in.
and please remember how depression and poor social skills hurt others. the old saying is true words do hit harder than fist. after the physical pain is gone you can forget but it is very hard to forget emonitional pain

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