I weigh around 50 pounds more than I did around last year christmas time. I mean I didn't gain it all because of the pregnancy, but I had lost a lot of weight around that time and I was eating vegan, along with other more desperate things I did to keep my weight low. When I found out I was pregnant and I gave up things I had been doing, a mixture of bulemia and anorexia type behaviors, and right at the very start when I was for the first time in months not starving my body, the weight piled on, and then I started gaining pregnancy weight too. And now cause of gaining so much in such a little time i've got stretch marks, really bad on my belly, plus I started getting them on my thighs, and even under my arms. It's sooo disgusting, I really hate looking at myself. A lot of the early gain was getting me back to a healthy weight, but now i'm seriously huge. It's so depressing cause i'm only 17 and I feel like my body is already ruined. It's going to be hard enough to ever enter another relationship being a single teen mother, without looking like a stretch out sack of cow. Agghhghghg. It's just so depressing to think I might not be able to get back to how I looked before, and I know when i'm a mother I can't go back to doing it the unhealthy way because I don't want that type of negativety around my baby (even if she doesn't understand) because I want her to grow up loving and respecting herself, and you can't teach something you don't live. It's just so depressing, I seriously hateeee my body now. I'm not scared of working hard to get back into shape, but i'm scared that it doesn't work or I can never get back to the way I was before, or i'll have extra skin or something. And it's not like the stretch marks will ever go away. Sorry for the rant!