Liar

Since I was about 12-13 I started lying. Lying about everything. Big and small. I told people everything from the fact I had a twin brother, my dad had died to little things like what I had for dinner. People say its easy and I should just stop but I find it really hard. I dont do it with any malice at all I dont sit and plan it it just happens. I hate being like this. I always no what im saying is a lie but I know on a different level first and formost in my mind is that its true. I live speak and breath the lie. I told my boyfriend that my dad and brother died I believed this so much that I would have nightmare every night and scream out there names in my sleep. Like I said I no that there all lies but that fact gets buried deep inside me just a passing thought and the lie becomes real. Its really hard to explain. These lies have ruined my life ive hurt everyone I no ive lost all my friends my children the only member of my family that talks to me is my dad and I almost lost my boyfriend. He said hes going to stick by me till im better. Please what is wrong with me I need help I need to no whats wrong with me. Also can you tell me what to do about depression obviously I feel alienated at the moment and its making me very depressed I even tried to commit suicide once what should I do about this