Sexual Health - Women Forum - Feeling Extremely Unwanted!

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Q: Feeling Extremely Unwanted!

asked by: jessie16 on October 25th, 2006

New User

Okay heres the deal..
My husband has a problem with porn and looking at other woman, models online, porn stars, and random girls that live in the same town as us. He even created a profile on a website that allows u to have webcam sex with other woman that live in ur area. We have a 4 month old son and I can understand him having problems seeing me as his wife...Now he just sees me as a mom. But this has upset me so much that ive threated to leave. Hes willing to get therapy, but I dont believe it will work. I feel im not good enough for him. Will I ever be? We have sex all the time! At least once a day. We dont have boring sex either. I need advice. Should I leave? I feel like hes 2 steps away from cheating on me...And its left me feeling completely unwanted by him.

Replies(5)

Kia

replied on October 26th, 2006

Supporter

As he is willing try the therapy/counselling - it helps for a lot of people.

Personally I don't see porn online or magazines as cheating. It's more voyeuristic.
Men will always look at a pretty girl/woman and when we are pregnant/hormonal/feeling low we notice this more than at other times.

You say you guys still have a good sex life which is positive because most guys who cheat stop having sex with their wife/girlfriend.

Talk to him about how it makes you feel, try the counselling (it will take more than one session).
If after that this is still a big issue, then you might have to look at going your separate ways.

x0x-Andrea

replied on October 26th, 2006

Experienced User

Yeah, I have to agree with the above noter. Whenever I used to go to my boyfriends house, I would check his history on his computer and it would be all porn. At first I was shocked and upset, and felt the same way . . . Unwanted, but a friend explained to me that it's a guy thing. The pictures/videos they see of other girls, those are obviously not the kinds of girls they can see them spending the rest of their lives with, they're just dirty whores (lol). I agree, I don't see it as cheating. Me and my boyfriend still have great sex, and have a very loving relationship.

Hope things work out ok. But yeah, if it's really that big of an issue, then i'd say try the therapy...

Makoto

replied on October 26th, 2006

Experienced User

Even though I am pro porn(see broken heart section) I do not think it is right he is meeting locals on line for web sex.

Just think if he was calling them and talking dirty to them. Not cheat in the traditional sense, but cheating just the same. Next, how easy is it to exchange information and set up a time and place?

Looking at porn is okay, but meeting people on line for sex is not good.

What you do about it is your choice, but do not make the mistake he about him cheating. He is.

Euphoric

replied on November 5th, 2006

New User

I Agree..

I totally agree with makoto. Think about if the tables were turned.. Would he leave you for having cyber sex, or even playing with a web cam?
I do believe that, is cheating!!!
At least the worst part is already over... You know about it...
If he is betraying you, is he worth it?
Everyone will give you advice about what they think you should do, or what they think is right, but I believe if you are in this forum, you want advice from people that don't know you, so they can't tell you what you want to hear.
I know it can be hard, but personally, I would leave. To me that’s not okay. You are a woman, and not a toy. You deserve so much more respect! He needs to realize that.. Just follow your heart..

steph25

replied on November 5th, 2006

New User

Yeah, I see no problem with the porn. I mean, i'm a girl and I watch more porn than my boyfriend! Lol. The thing is that I don't see it as having sex with those people, its just the act itself. I like to watch...

In fact, I think about my boyfriend the whole time and how we could that, or how we had. It just turns me on a lot.
I guess guys feel this way too. U don't necessarily want the person on the screen, you want the act. Make sence?

The online webcam... Well, that there is odd... Talk to him. Ask him what he gets out of these women that he can't get from you. Lets hope he's onest because then maybe you can make some changes yourself to keep both of you happy Smile

best of luck

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