My boyfriend is currently in the midst of a messy divorce. (no, not because of me) he and his ex have been separated for just about two years, I met him 11 months after their separation. They have no custody agreement. She continually witholds custody/visitation and refuses him any overnights with their daughter, if he attempts it she comes to our house and throws a fit. He is a push over and rather than taking action against her, like calling the police, he will stand outside for an hour trying to calm her down and then give into her anyway. She tells their five year old daughter she isn't allowed to stay the night here, that I am a bad person, etc. I have spoken my mind to his ex twice and both times it has erupted into an argument, the last time with her hitting me, no charges are being prosecuted because it was a "mutual affray". My boyfriend has since spoken to his lawyer about all of this and is actually pursuing joint custody which is what he sees as fair. However, his ex continues to act erratically, cusses him out (sometimes in front of their daughter) anytime he disagrees with her and makes deragatory comments about me any chance she gets. I know that everything will be somewhat worked out once they have their custody hearing. I am just at my wits end. I understand that my boyfriend has no control over how she acts, and I try to be as supportive as possible, I just can't take it sometimes when he lets her treat him that way. I love him dearly, but sometimes I don't know if it's right for me to stay in this situation right now. I want to be with him in the long run, i'm just not sure how much more of both of their nonsense I can take!! I really need some advice on how to deal with all of this. I understand that I need to refrain from making comments to her when they are arguing, but is it wrong of me to ask her to leave when she comes to our home and is banging on the door at all hours of the night?? I know she is there to talk to him, but I live here as well and her coming to our home, banging on the door and screaming causes me more stress than I know how to deal with.