My boyfriend is currently in the midst of
a messy divorce. (no, not because of me)
he and his ex have been separated for
just about two years, I met him 11 months
after their separation. They have no
custody agreement. She continually
witholds custody/visitation and refuses
him any overnights with their daughter, if
he attempts it she comes to our house and
throws a fit. He is a push over and
rather than taking action against her,
like calling the police, he will stand
outside for an hour trying to calm her
down and then give into her anyway. She
tells their five year old daughter she
isn't allowed to stay the night here, that
I am a bad person, etc. I have spoken my
mind to his ex twice and both times it has
erupted into an argument, the last time
with her hitting me, no charges are being
prosecuted because it was a "mutual
affray". My boyfriend has since spoken
to his lawyer about all of this and is
actually pursuing joint custody which is
what he sees as fair. However, his ex
continues to act erratically, cusses him
out (sometimes in front of their daughter)
anytime he disagrees with her and makes
deragatory comments about me any chance
she gets. I know that everything will be
somewhat worked out once they have their
custody hearing. I am just at my wits
end. I understand that my boyfriend has
no control over how she acts, and I try to
be as supportive as possible, I just can't
take it sometimes when he lets her treat
him that way. I love him dearly, but
sometimes I don't know if it's right for
me to stay in this situation right now.
I want to be with him in the long run, i'm
just not sure how much more of both of
their nonsense I can take!! I really
need some advice on how to deal with all
of this. I understand that I need to
refrain from making comments to her when
they are arguing, but is it wrong of me to
ask her to leave when she comes to our
home and is banging on the door at all
hours of the night?? I know she is there
to talk to him, but I live here as well
and her coming to our home, banging on the
door and screaming causes me more stress
than I know how to deal with.
