I was precribed adderall in high school and middle school. I took it for about three years, then realized that I didn't want to take it anymore, I lost a lot of weight. I was 5'9 and only weighted about 120 pounds. I'm almost finished with college now and I have started taking adderall three to four times a week for the past month or so. In high school my grades where better when I was on adderall, but thinking back I was not as social, I was not as happy.
I do not have a prescription right now, but I get it from others who do. My girlfriend just recently told me that she doesn't like me as much when i'm on adderall. It really hit me. While I feel that adderall helps me focus on my work, it makes me a zombie, all I do is study and write papers. I don't want to become addicted to adderrall but yet I feel that I won't be able to work well without it. Like I said, I use three to four times a week, but the days where i'm not on it, I think to myself I don't have to do work now, i'll just do it when i'm on adderall.
I'm wondering if my addiction to adderall a physical addiction, a mental addiction or both. I decided that I will never touch it again. I'm just going to have to figure out a way to work without it. I never sleep, I feel I lack creativity and the need to be social. I'm just happy i'm realizing this now before I started really becoming dependent on it. I think back to the summer when I was not on it, I was still productive, but not as driven as I am when i'm on aderall. I don't want to be dependent on any drug to do the things I want to do, or live how I want to live. I feel like aderall is becoming more important to me than it should be, I sometimes even look foward to using it. I know the next couple weeks are going to be rough without aderall. The withdraw from not using it hits me pretty hard, atleast it did several years ago in highschool. Then I had been on it for years though, this time months.
Has anyone had similar expierences with adderall? Do people feel they can use, but not feel dependent on it to work?
