Genital Warts & Need Serious Advice--odd Situation-- Posted: 10-17-06 22:21pm
I found out I had the cancer causing hpv a
month after I started having sex with my
current boyfriend. Six months later, I
found a wart on my vulva. My Dr. Told me
that my bf had already been exposed and
that if I didn't want to tell him I didn't
have to because he had already been
exposed and would have already gotten it.
I treated the wart with condolox about a
month ago. He was out of town and it only
took about 6 days for the entire thing to
be completly gone & healed.
I was sexually active with a few people
before him, but I went for about 3 years
without having sex with anyone. Then I
started having sex with him and it showed
up. I had a pap & sti test--i had one
after my last boyfriend and that was 3
years ago---then now it shows up. (
before sex with him)& nothing showed
up at all until now. I know that hpv can
lie dormat in your body for quite
sometime, but it seems like the wart
causing kind would come up (from what i've
read) within 6 months (which is how long
we had been having sex before it showed
up).
I wonder if I got it from him or from a
previous partner and I wonder if it will
come back. If so can I treat it with the
condolox again?
Do I have to eventually tell him? We are
very close & he was my high school
sweetheart and we got back together about
9 years later. We have been together for
about 9 months now and I feel so lonely
not letting him in on it but at the same
time I know he loves me so much and would
probably understand, but our sex life is
wonderful and I don't want him to feel
weird or turned off.
How do I deal with this. What if it
never comes back? I feel a little weird
not telling my very best friend(him) about
this.
I am scared I already had it and I will
give it to him. I need some answers.
Please help me.
Hi mary_ittls. I am in a somewhat
similar situation. I have been in a
monogamous relationship for six years.
My boyfriend is the only person I have
ever had any sort of sexual contact with.
About 15 months ago, he was diagnosed
with a genital wart. I completely trust
that he has not cheated on me, so we can
only assume that either he has had hpv
since before we started dating and it took
this long for it to become symptomatic, or
that he was misdiagnosed. He was
previously diagnosed with another skin
condition--molluscum contagiosum--before
we met, so there is a slim chance that the
bump at the base of his penis was this, or
even just a regular bump (his skin is very
prone to moles and bumps in general).
I could babble for a while about the
specifics of our situation, but to
specifically address your problem...
First, it is within the realm of
possibility that the hpv (whether the
high-risk cancer-causing type or the
low-risk wart-causing type) has been
dormant in either one of you until now.
In other words, since you have had
previous partners, and I assume your
boyfriend has as well, it is virtually
impossible to determine exactly when and
from whom either or both of you may have
been infected.
Second, I strongly suggest that you tell
your boyfriend. I understand how
uncomfortable that may seem, but if you
hope for a long-term relationship with
him, it seems like the only reasonable
option. What if he develops warts later
and tells you? You'll either have to
admit that you've known for some time
about your own infection or lie. What if
you become pregnant? There is a very
slight (i want to emphasize very slight so
I don't freak anyone out) risk of
transmitting hpv to your baby, which will
need to be discussed with your
obstetrician. Would you keep your
boyfriend in the dark about this, too?
What if you break up? Your boyfriend
could unknowingly expose any future
partners. Finally, how would you feel if
you found out that your boyfriend knew
that he had hpv, and/or warts
specifically, and decided not to tell
you?
One more thing about my situation; my
boyfriend was diagnosed with a wart about
15 months ago, but he didn't tell me until
about 3 months ago. The fact that he
didn't tell me is much more upsetting to
our relationship than the fact that he has
warts. I understand that he didn't know
about the warts before we started dating,
so if he had told me when he was
diagnosed, all we would be dealing with
would be the hpv itself. Now there is a
huge breach of trust that i'm not sure I
can get over. I think you're risking the
same situation if you don't tell your
boyfriend.
Finally, here's a website with the best
information i've found on hpv as well as
many other stis (and i've spent many hours
reading lots of crap):
