what kind of birth control are you on? Having nightmares about a negative experince is understandable; and no one is going to tell you an abortion is all flowers and ribbons.

Why do you think you are pregnant again?

Im on the patch... Its called evra

Hello jelissa,

a few questions:

have you missed a period? Have you taken a test? If you've missed a period then you can take a test. Some tests can even be used a few days before your period is due but they can be a bit expensive.

You're obviously affected by your abortion; have you spoken to anyone about it? Perhaps some counselling would help you, or talking to other people who have gone through an abortion.

With regards to your current situation, first thing you need to do is establish whether you are pregnant. If you're not, perhaps use condoms as well as the patch? If you're really sure you don't want a baby yet then doubling up on the contraception might give you peace of mind.

If you don't mind me asking, does a little bit of you perhaps hope you are pregnant again? I just wondered if perhaps you feel you would be 'making up' for the abortion somehow since you seem be carrying some guilt. Only a thought, not a judgement

I dont kno.. Im sorta confused, that is a good question, I do feel guilty, im not sure it would make up for what I did, but I felt like I betrayed my baby by gettting an abortion, I had no choice, right now is not a good time for me, even tho I did want to keep it I had to do what was best for the time

I really feel for you right now. Everybody reacts differently to their abortions. Some deal with it, some spend weeks, months, and even years damaged mentally by it. I guess the consequences around the termination also contribute to how you feel about it.

Look at it like this: you chose abortion. Although you may have felt awful about having to do this, it was the right choice for you, which is why you terminated your pregnancy. I just hope you haven't deliberately attempted to fall pregnant again to make up for the baby you lost, however you need to take a pregnancy test to be certain that you're pregnant. Again, if you are, don't feel that you need to have this child in order to fill the gap for the one you would've had had you not aborted. Do what is right for you, although I know it's hard because you would like to keep the baby. Look at your financial situation, the kind of life your baby would have if born. I can't imagine they would be any different from when you were last pregnant, but think about it. Make sure the decision is what is right for you. You are still young

i understand what you're going through. A friend of mine, who is just 15, is now preparing to arrange her second abortion. She had a termination also about six months ago. But at least you were protecting yourself by using contraception - lucy* (*as I will call her) hasn't used any! So congratulations on using birth control, but I think it's maybe the right time to see your gp about a change of method. I strongly advocate the iud (coil), which is very, very effective.

Sorry for your trauma. Keep in contact.

Kypros.

Thank you so much for your help it means a lot to me

Jelissa, have you tried this site: www.Passboards.Org? (all letters lower case though)

it's very good and I think it will help you a lot. You can't talk about your current pregnancy situation there as they have strict rules but you can chat about your abortion. It is a very friendly atmosphere and the ladies there genuinely care about each other's healing.

Also try this website: http://www.Yourbackline.Org/ (all lower case). They are a nonjudgemental, prochoice organization who will listen to you if you need to just get it all out. They also have a toll free line that you can call to talk to a counselor. They have specific times that they run the line, though, because it's staffed by volunteers.

dear jessica,

i was 18 when I had my first abortion, and then the sacond..... Now am in my 40th and married to a man whom I love. We are trying to have babies but are not sucessful so far. I am not sayoing that every one will end up like me, but if I knew that my only chance to have a baby was when I was 18, I would take that baby back.



When it comes to going and completing college, there are many women that had babies went to school, there are programs out there to help you.



My night mares did not stop untill I was able to forgive myself, this process can take time. Just be kind and gentle to yourslef, you deserve it.



I know you may not fee like exercising, but minimum exercise may help you cope with a dipression (i believe not all depressions should be treated with medication).



When it comes to stressful situations, we tend to abandon good habits when it comes to diet. Make sure you food contains a lot of protein and stay away from junk food. Low sugar in your blood may be the reason for you to feel depressed (if you do of course)



if you think you can talk to me please pm me. I will pray for you meantime.

you're 40?


All this time I assumed that you were still in your peak fertile years when you are actually at the end of them. Your age, and not your prior abortions, is what is effecting your current fertility. Fertility for .Women truly nosedives at around 37. Most .Women who conceive after they are 37, had help doing so, usually through ivf or other fertility treatments. You should look into fertility centers or specialists in your area and start the process as soon as possible. Your risks during pregnancy also rise when you are older so the longer you wait to become pregnant, the more problems or issues may arise.

Other health issues may be further hindering your ability to conceive naturally. You should speak to your doctor about whether or not you are healthy enough to conceive and carry a pregnancy before you attempt to do so.


she is in the best position to know what assistance she is likely to receive. My sister got pregnant during her last year of highschool and everyone assured her that "there are programs out there" to help her. She never did get to go to college. The programs were too few and too far in between to truly help her. It depends on this .Woman's location as to the amount of assistance she can expect to receive. Some locations are better than others.

The nightmares could very well be induced by hormonal irregularities. If you are reacting to the hormones in the patch negatively, they may be helping to produce the nightmares. Your hormones play a significant role in many things within your body. You should visit with your doctor about the effects that you are experiencing and hopefully s/he will be able to help you. Hormonal imbalances are actually quite common, some more severe than others, and many times the body will correct them before the need arises to go to the doctor. However, in some instances medication may be necessary to correct the imbalance.

that's alrgith. Many have assumed things about me on this forum. It may due to my age but it also maybe due to my abortions, even doctors are not so sure bout it.

if it is due to the abortions, i'll eat my best hat. Legal abortions in industrialized nations are the safest medical procedures that a woman can undergo. More people die from taking tylenol than from obtaining an abortion. More people are rendered infertile from the fish that they eat (high mercury) than from obtaining an abortion.