Hi

let me start by warning you that making yourself sick will cause more harm than you may know. Every time you throw up it puts stress on your heart. Once you are underweight, your heart may develop mitral valve prolapse (shrinking of the valve) and in addition to the vomiting may put you at risk for a heart attack - even though you are only 16.

In addition, the stomach acid will start to wear on the enamel of your teeth and they will be subject to decay and breakage.

Unfortunately, once you have gotten into the habit of purging every day, it is hard to break. Even when you don't want to your body may automatically want to purge out of habit. I suggest that you contact your local hospital to see if they have any programs for eating disorders or perhaps a school counselor whom you trust. I know that here in the states, a lot of people attend over-eaters anonymous meetings for all types of eating disorders including anorexia and bulemia. You might want to see if any of these programs are available in your area.

Good luck and don't give up on getting well. Life can be more amazing than you know!

Thanks for writing back I have talked to a teacher in school and although she listened to me and was very understanding she told my parents. They want me to see a councellor but I have already decided that I will lie because i'm nit ready to let go of this yet. My ed has been my friend I know it sounds weird but I can't help that. There is some part of me that wants help I diffently want to stop making myself sick but I want to be in control again. When I don't eat I feel so great like I have achieved something I love nothing more then to weight myself and see that I have reached my goal. My problem is I am not so in control anymore so I will never reach my goal.
I don't eat untill I get home from school my mam makes the dinner but I throw it out in school the next day I do eat though my diet is bread cercreal and rice which is weird because last year I would never let myself have any carbs.
I do appricate the reply but it doesn't really scare me what I am doing to my body I don't think I would have just made myself sick if it had. Sorry

Hey hun.. I will reply again . . I know maybe u dont think u want help. .But promise u the longer u go on with this. .The less control u will have.. And the harder it will get to ever quit. The sooner u quit. .The better. Throwing up will slow your metabolism sooo much and if u do it too long then u will end up gaining weight back so easy its unbelievable. Trust me, I know from experience. I was mia for just over a year..But was ana b4 that. Not to mention all the terrible stuff it does to u. I never thought it was that bad cuz it didnt cause me pain, I didnt bleed much ever etc.. But it still causes more damage then u can imagine.. And if u ever wanna have kids. .The longer u live w/ this disease.. The less of a chance u have of being fertile. If u want to have a nice body that your comfortable with .. The only way to get that and maintain it is to eat healthy and work out. Im going to reply to this about your other post too all in this one post by the way...Please dont think your not worth getting help just because you think your not bad.. Dont wait till things get worse.. And I promise u they will only get worse the longer u continue. People told me this all the time and I never believed them, now, I can only wish I had. Also, its not weird that your e/d has become a friend.. It your safety box.. It was mine too.. Thinking about losing it might actually scare u, it scared me terribly.. It will be hard at first if u decide to recover, but I promise u, once u get rid of this if u can get the strength to do it.. U will be happier once its gone. I just wish u would re-consider, waiting until it gets worse, or waiting until u want to recover, this disease does kill. My cousin was bulimic. .And only for 7 months.. She had kidney failure, liver damage, a ruptured esophagus, and they believe she cannot have kids. She said she experienced no pain at all! It will do different damage to everyone.. I just wish you would talk to someone and reconsider healthier habits. . . It really just makes me upset to see someone who can get better, not want to try . . . . Anyhow.. About my pregnancy, it is going good. I quit mia for the baby and so far I have only purged 3 times during my pregnancy sense I found out (thats 3 times in 2 months and a week) which is good for me because it used to be 3-4 times a day everyday. I am 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant and im 18. Unplanned, and I wasnt happy about it b4, but now I am happy about it* thanks for asking* where r u from ?

Thanks for the advice i'm not sure if I am strong enough yet but maybe one day I will be. The one good thing out of this is I have started to write about whats going on with me, I hope ypu don't mind but I wanted to show you one of the things I wrote. Here it goes

I know you want to be there
I know you want to help
don't think i'm ungreatfull
but i'm doing this by myself.
I can't be always watching you
or thinking of what to say
it will only make things worse
i'll push you futher and futher away.
Everytime I let you in
I see the sad look on your face
why do you ask me to reveal
what you find hard to embrace?
Please understand
if I let you go
its not that I never loved you
its not that I never cared
its not that I have forgotten you
its just that I am scared.

Well just thought I share that with you. I live in dublin in ireland. I think this baby is your saviour it was meant to be, in a way to lifes are being born, your baby and you. You will be each others backbone and your baby will always so special because him/her helped you to live life again. You gace life to your baby but in a way your baby gave life to you. :d
i will remeber your advice but i;m just not ready yet to want to help myself but maybe one day I will be as lucky as you and find the strenght to want to fight.

Thats a beautiful poem... Just beautiful* thankyou for all the nice things u said about the baby. .Well until u find the strength (which I know u have it, u just have to unbury it, your e/d is making you not see it) I will have strong hope for you to get better until u do!