My Boyfriend And My Family Hate Each Others Guts......!!! Posted: 10-11-06 10:10am
If you love someone and your about to be
getting married next year but your family
are not happy because they think he’s
too controlling and strict and your
boyfriend doesn’t want anything to do
with them because he thinks there all
interfere and wants nothing to do with
them…..Should you go ahead and marry him
or break up and hope to find someone who
can respect your family and accept them
for what they are.
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la_ling
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 10-12-06 12:20pm
I don't think either option really solves
your problem. You will resent your family
for running off your boyfriend or you will
resent your husband for keeping your
family away.
As long as the invitations have not been
sent out, you can change the date of the
wedding. So, don't worry about getting
married so quickly.
It appears that you have a lot to work out
before getting married. Either your
boyfriend is too strict and controlling or
your family interferes in your life, which
is it? Sounds like the fight is to see
who has control of your life. If that is
true, then you won't be happy until you
make your own choices.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 10-12-06 13:56pm
Is your fiance. B/f contrlling and
strict? Is this what you want and who you
want to spend the rest of your life with?
Will he cut you off from your family? You
are the only one that knows what you want.
I am not a dr but you know that it could
cause problems, you might try sitting down
with your b/f and having a little heart to
heart talk with him and letting him know
that without them that you would not be
here and see what his reaction is and try
talking to your family, you know that
their are a lot of families that their is
noone that is good enough for their
daughter and this may not be the case but
you could ask them all if they could get
along for your sake but like I said
before, you are the only one that can
decide what to do and family is special!
Good luck with your decision!
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keishori
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Texas
I Know How It Feels Posted: 10-29-06 00:40am
I am currently in your situation right now
but it is a tad different...
See, you say he doesn't want your family
to interfere... That is not a good sign
in any bf... Stand up for your family...
If you want your family to like him or get
to know him, tell him to be a man... And
also that how he acts does not help the
situation of the family not liking him...
(he needs to proove to your family that he
is worthy of your prescnce) is there a
reason why he doesn't like your family?
Did he give your family a reason not to
like him? How long have the two of you
been together? If there is an age
difference, do you think that might be the
issue?
I can't tell you about the marrige part...
All I can give you for that is the advice
of someone I respect... "before marriage
keep boths eyes open, after marriage close
one eye..." in other words... When dating
be picky... If you see something that
might be a problem to deal with year after
year... You know to break up with him...
If you are engaged, its a huge
comitment... See what how he acts in all
situations... And all seasons... That
means way longer than a year honey....
But when you are married close your eye to
a small problem that you didn't mind so
much before...
Anyways I said I was in your shoes... But
I guess I am not really... See... My bf
is the greatest guy on earth! To me
anyways... Sure we've had a ton of ups
and downs... And we have just hit the
biggest wall in our lives...
I met him after I turned 16 and our
friendship grew and grew and grew in to
what it is now... But when I moved down
here to when I lived he moved as well...
It's not an obsession... It was to help
me adapt and get used to everything new...
Cause of a severe issue that forced my
family to move...
Yea there is an age difference but that
doesn't phase me... Only my parents...
Until recently my parents had no clue
about this... Only my diblings knew...
When my parents found out all hell broke
lose! I was planning on having a happy
life with him and going to college... But
there are financail issues...
Anyways what I was getting to was that my
parents hate his guts and want to make his
life a living hell... I am doing
everything I can to stop this crisis...
But nothing I do seemed to work until I
broke... I became and independant person
who can overcome bad times... Yes they
happen... It sucks... But your family
will always support you not your
dissicions... You as a person... If our
boyfriend cant respect you as a person or
even try to come up with an agreement...
Then it isn't worth it...
You only live once... Why not live for
you and what you believe in?You'll never
know or catch a glimpse unless you try...
So step up to the plate... You bat when
you feel like hitting a home run (follow
through with it)... Or you can walk...
But if you do too much you strike out...
Then what does that leave you with?