When I fell pregnant, 2 and a half years ago, it was not planned and I was totally in shock. However, I didn't for a moment think of not telling my then fiance. Maybe that was because I knew I could rely on him and trust him to support me. I knew I could not abort and I also knew that my then fiance would have hated me to have aborted.
If I were to have an unplanned pregnancy now and I did want an abortion (which I wouldn't) then I would find it hard to tell my husband because I know he would be against the idea. However, I would not keep it from him. We are married and love each other and I know that he would support me in my decision, even if it hurt him terribly.
I don't think it's right to lie to your partner about aborting their child; they have a right to know in my opinion. As paganangel stated though, i'm only speaking of loving relationships and not abusive ones.
If I were to have an unplanned pregnancy now and I did want an abortion (which I wouldn't) then I would find it hard to tell my husband because I know he would be against the idea. However, I would not keep it from him. We are married and love each other and I know that he would support me in my decision, even if it hurt him terribly.
I don't think it's right to lie to your partner about aborting their child; they have a right to know in my opinion. As paganangel stated though, i'm only speaking of loving relationships and not abusive ones.
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Re: Possible to Be Both?
| eugeniabrown wrote: | ||
when people talk about "choice" and they respect their decision I often wonder what the word "choice" represents. I woudl like to belive that choosing would involve desiring and chieving something without an external pressures. If a woman had this opportunity to have no prassures (while being preganant) I doubt she would make that decission. I would have problem to support something I am in disagreement with. Unless of course your support is more like "uncoditional love", then yes you can do that. You can love her(and welcome her with open heart) even though you disagree what what she does. I think if I had to chose wording I would say: "i can't fully support you in your decision, but I want you to know that I love you very much and no matter what happens I will be there for you when you need me." i am not sure whether this woudl fall into prolife or prochoice. But does it matter? |
choice is a right given to people, in life you make good or bad choice one which comes with greatness and the other consequences.
In regards to pressure, its possible but if you commit a crime and say you did it because you were pressured you will still go to jail, you will still suffer the consequences.
We as human have the right to say "no" in which case in regards to abortion a woman has a right to say no just as we have the right to say no to adoption and pregnancy!
I am not for abortion but id rather see legal abortion where a woman will not die, remeber this it is her body and her chocie to do as she so please. Not everywoman will feel regret to an abortion but what about when a woman feels remorse/guilt for a pregnancy?
If you regret your abortion thats okay you have the right but you dont have a right to tell woman they will all feel regret or maybe that they are not healthy for not regretting their abortion!
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Re: Possible to Be Both?
| paganangel wrote: | ||||||||||
touchy aren't we? |
duh. It's an emotional subject.
| Quote: |
| yes actually I have been in the same situation..I've had a pregnancy scare...Been freaked out..Wondering what the !**@! am I gonna do now? But I told my then boyfriend what I was going to do. |
i didn't tell him what I was going to do because I hadn't made a desicion yet, and I didn't even know I was pregnant. I was saving that discussion for once I actually knew if I was or not. As I found out I wasn't, that discussion wasn't necessary. He already knows I am pro-choice, so he pretty much knows what my first desire would be in a situation like that.
| Quote: |
| i would have never snuck around behind his back. |
i didn't either. I came right out and told him what had happened on the pills, and that I didn't know yet if I was pregnant. I felt it was uncecessary to cause a possible fight over abortion when I didn't even know if I was pregnant.
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| trust involves telling the truth and not hiding things as large as a pregnancy from your significant other. |
i didn't hide it!! Obviously you don't read either. I told him immediately what was going on. I distinctly said I didn't know what I would have done, and I didn't know if not telling him would have been one of the answers. I also said I would have wanted him to be there, which obviously implies that I would have told him. So your entire rant at me about the trust that he and I already have, that you think we don't have, has absolutely no point.
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| [...] oh and for the pc's that will come on here and say "well what if she were being abused and such and such"....I'm talking about a loving commited relationship where two people are supposed to be honest with each other. |
i feel trust is impotant too, which is why I told him what was going on. it turns out there was no pregnancy to hide, so that's not even the issue here.
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Re: Possible to Be Both?
| diamondsz wrote: | ||
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.I don't recall saying that middle part...
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Re: Possible to Be Both?
| eiri wrote: | ||||||||||||||||||||
duh. It's an emotional subject.
i didn't tell him what I was going to do because I hadn't made a desicion yet, and I didn't even know I was pregnant. I was saving that discussion for once I actually knew if I was or not. As I found out I wasn't, that discussion wasn't necessary. He already knows I am pro-choice, so he pretty much knows what my first desire would be in a situation like that.
i didn't either. I came right out and told him what had happened on the pills, and that I didn't know yet if I was pregnant. I felt it was uncecessary to cause a possible fight over abortion when I didn't even know if I was pregnant.
i didn't hide it!! Obviously you don't read either. I told him immediately what was going on. I distinctly said I didn't know what I would have done, and I didn't know if not telling him would have been one of the answers. I also said I would have wanted him to be there, which obviously implies that I would have told him. So your entire rant at me about the trust that he and I already have, that you think we don't have, has absolutely no point.
i feel trust is impotant too, which is why I told him what was going on. it turns out there was no pregnancy to hide, so that's not even the issue here. |
your statement was that if you had had had an abortion that you didn't know if you would have told him or not. Why would you not have told him? You went off on all of these other issues that had nothing to do with the question asked....Is that just your way of avoiding the question?
My question is that if you supposedly love someone so much how could you contemplate keeping something like that from them.
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Re: Possible to Be Both?
| paganangel wrote: | ||||||||||||||||||||||
your statement was that if you had had had an abortion that you didn't know if you would have told him or not. Why would you not have told him? You went off on all of these other issues that had nothing to do with the question asked....Is that just your way of avoiding the question? My question is that if you supposedly love someone so much how could you contemplate keeping something like that from them. |
why? Because I was terrified, would have not wanted to lose him over it... But I do feel I would have told him, now looking back on it. However, in the situation, those fears seem a lot more logical than they do outside the fear.
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Being pro-choice can also be personally pro-life. So since you are in favor of choice rather than abortion you would be pro-choice.
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I agree with what someone said earlier, you're anti-abortion but pro-choice. And that's perfectly fine. You have no obligation to support another woman's choice to abort but you respect her decision to do so. You respect that right. Thats all that really matters.
Not every person who is pro-choice is someone who would abort.
Not every person who is pro-choice is someone who would abort.
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