He Gone And I Cant Cope. Help??

Ok I have posted on the depressed forum but hey my problem kinda fits this situation too.
Im in love with this guy and we have known each other over a year and had been together over 10 months but now he is gone.
He cut me out of his life.
We were so close . I have not only lost the love of my life, but also my best friend and confidant. He was everything I ever wanted. He was everything to me and now I dont know what to do. He left three weeks ago but have been tellingyself that hewould come back, that he loved me, but yesterday it finally hit home, I have lost him.
This lady told me that if you love something you should set it free and if it comes back to you its yours if not then it was not meant to be.
I let him go with out a fight and he has not come back.
This is just hurting so much. Im dying with outhim and I know that I have to respect his wishes and leavehim alone but it hurts and I feel that I cant never love again. I cant even get close to another guy because it feels like im cheating on my ex and I dont realy want a relationship even thou I kind of have a new one, all I think about is my ex even when with my new bf.
I prefer the no strings fun because I can get used and it dont mean anything. I just want my ex back so bad and him not being here is proving just how much I did cope with him and did not before him and after him.
Im sorry for writing all this random cr*p.
Please leave a message if you wanr and if not I understand. Sorry.