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the Deed Is Done

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Bridezilla Indeed!
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Help Nedeed Asap
October 7th, 2006
I went through with my abortion today.

I had an early medical abortion. I went two days ago to take the first tablet and then this morning to have the second stage.

Not quite sure how should be feeling at the moment... Not sure how I actually am feeling. Emotional would be a good word I guess.

I don't know if I regret it now... I dont think I do. It was just a bit of a shock when (appologies for being graphic at all) a few blood clots popped out down the toilet and I had a mini panic thinking that could have been a baby in 8 months time... My boyfriend said I shouldnt think like that, and I know he is right, and I think i've got over that now i'm sitting here in front of the computer, but every time I go to the toilet and see the blood, I feel again like i'm flushing my baby down the toilet.

It wasn#'t a baby yet, I know, but its always in my mind that it could have been if I had given it the chance.

I was surprised at the amount of women going for abortions. I always knew this stuff was happening to people... But so many.

I haven been reading he leaflets they gave me at the clinic at that 1 in 100 or something have to have further treatment as the abrtion with ealry medical can be incomplete.... I really hope that I dont have to go through a surical abortion...

As ridiculous as it sounds, it feels natural this way, well, *more* natural this way. A surgical sounds more intrusive and harsh... I really hope that this is it and its ove for me and that I wount have to have more treatment if I am still pregnant. I realy did not want to have a surgical abortion. I feel like I shoudld be able to relax about it now, cry about it for a bit and then get on with things, but now I am constantly thinking about it not being complete......

I don't know what to do with myself
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Jules
replied October 7th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I don't think there's anything in particular you 'should' be feeling right now. Everyone is different. It sounds like you are still a bit numb from the experience. You might find you get upset or you might just be able to forget it all.

If you do find yourself struggling to cope with the fact you've had an abortion then I can recommend you have a look at this site: www.Passboards.Org (all lower case letters). It is a really excellent site that helps women who have had abortions and need some support to move on. I'm not saying you will have problems, I just know people who have and the worst thing is to feel alone.

(i'm sorry if recommending another site breaks the rules by the way. Mods - feel free to delete my post if I have done a naughty and I apologise. Just trying to help.)

i wish you all the best in your recovery and get yourself to the doctor for some birth control - don't put it off!!! Wink (ref to first post by amaez)
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sandyallen
replied October 7th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
It is okay to cry, you did what you felt what was the right thing to do at the time, I cried and I did not have any choice, mine was medically necessary. I hope that each day that goes by that you will feel better, eventhough you might not forget, you can forgive yourself, we are here to help you, that is what the abortion support is all about and if you do need more help I hope that you can get it, whether it be your b/f or more professional. You need to forgive yourself and move on, it is just part of the recovery and I understand that it is sometimes not easy and that it may take a little time. Did the dr offer you any form of b/c and I realize that it isn't 100% but 98% is better then nothing and maybe think of getting an iud. Cairyfairy is a good person to talk to about something like this.
All the best!
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Tazzy D
replied October 7th, 2006
Advanced Support Team
It is okay to be feeling the way that you are. With time things will become easier for you. Just remember that we are all here for you even if you just want to talk
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jenn_smithson
replied October 9th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: the Deed Is Done
amaez wrote:
i don't know what to do with myself
keep your follow up appointment. They will be able to make sure that the abortion was complete and it will be a good chance for you to ask questions if you are experiencing any non-threatening problems or issues. If you find that you are filling up a pad in less than two hours, you need to see a doctor or go to the hospital immediately as that can be a sign of a hemorrage. Take all of the medication that your provider gave to you as they directed to ensure that you do not get an infection.

The chances of complications are very, very small so the good news is that statistically you should come through everything just fine. The other good news is that, again statistically, the majority of women who obtain an abortion do not regret it afterward. If you do experience any problems, there is non-judgemental support available at www.Yourbackline.Org (all lowercase). They have a 1-888 number as well that you can call during specific hours listed on their website. They are a prochoice group who can help you gain a greater perspective on your abortion and because they are prochoice, they are nonjudgemental and will not level guilt or shame upon you like some other services that are out there. If you need help and the people you contact start to make you feel guilty or ashamed, hang up. There's nothing that you've done that you need to feel guilt or shame over.

Keep us posted on how you are feeling, be sure to keep your follow up appointment, and if you have any questions or issue, don't hesitate to ask.
Peace and love,
jenn
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diamondsz
replied October 9th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
You can expierence a range of emotions, the same thing happens after giving birth you go through hell and back because all the hormones, one minute I would be excited the next I was down or just spaced out.

I had a kid so it may be different but I have had a d&c and that was painful as hell so im wishing you luck! Just remeber if anyone talks down to you just ignore them and listen to the people who are actually supportive!
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October20
replied October 23rd, 2006
Me Too
Crying or Very sad

i just had a medical abortion less than 2 days ago and I understand where you are coming from.

I have a lot of mixed emotions right now, but also feel it was more natural to do it medical rather than surgical.

Somehow, even as painful as it was, I feel a bit of relief knowing that it was something that was a natural occurance that happens to women who miscarry.

I guess it helps me justify what i've done. It was personally the right choice for me.

For me, knowing that you have some of the same feelings that I have are comforting and I hope I was able to comfort you.
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