Keljf…
good to see you here, welcome.

I am no doctor, and have no medical advice.

The question you asked that caught my attention was, “is this the way I will feel forever”. An excellent question,

when you were trying to stay clean, what were you doing? Did you make any narcotics anonymous meetings? Did you talk to another recovering addict every day? Did you do the things that were suggested in rehab in order to recover?

The reason I ask is most of us don’t do anything concrete about our recovery. We just stop and little else. And after a while, staying clean and sober just becomes to big a burden to carry all alone. And we go back to the only things that offer us any relief at all. Dope and alcohol.

If nothing changes in your life keljf, except trying to battle this beast on self will alone, yea, this is this the way you will feel forever. Addiction will never freely let you go, never!

Find someone who is an addict like yourself, but who is clean, sober and happy today, and ask them how they did it.

Your friend on this long strange trip
richard