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Scared About Dying (Page 1)

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I suffer from the blues on and off. I've recently got over post-natal depression thanks to prozac, but the feelings still come and go. I know when i'm getting down as I wake up in the night frightened about myself dying or my children. I sometimes have late-night discussions with my husband about the meaning of life and what happens after we die. My main concern is that I will be alone and not see my loved ones again. The next day when I wake up with puffy eyes I feel really stupid and pathetic. This has happened since I was a kid and it gets worse as i've got three young children now. Am I the only one who worries about dying and where we go afterwards?
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First Helper CharlotteJayne
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replied January 26th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Although I have always believed in god, reincarnation & an after life - I do have an idea of what you mean, when I became a mother (almost 15 years ago) & since the fear of death (of deserting my children really) has often caused me to be depressed.

I don't belong to a specific faith, I don't think we need to, what we need & for me at any rate, what god intends is for us all to be unique & find the beliefs that are "right" for us. Look at the trees, the beauty of nature & the faces of your children, you don't need a manmade building of any sort to pray in when you have these god made miracles.

I am not trying to convert you, I am totally opposed to that, but it is the only thing I can think to say that might help you.

Much love

cheri
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replied January 26th, 2004
Anonymous
Me to
I worry about death constantly!!!
There's many times I can't sleep becuse of it.
I have terrible dreams and sometimes their have been parts of them that
have come true and that really freaks me out!!!
I had one recently about my husband and what I did becuse I couldn't live without him.The dream was so vivid and real I can't even tell him about it
cause I get too upset.
I have had dreams like this for a long long time.
I worry alot about my brother and I have lots of dreams about him.
Ussally I wake up crying and alot iam hysterical,very upset.
I don't want to die or leave my family or the oyher way.I don't handle it well.
I do believe in heaven.
And than sometimes I wonder.
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replied December 5th, 2011
In Response to Fear over Death!
It's always so comforting to come across a discussion with like-minded individuals Smile Yes, I am afraid of death & the subject haunts me daily. I would say that I am more afraid of close family and friends dying than of myself dying... Does anyone else feel this way? I've been told (by a professional therapist) that I am fixated on death because, as a person with extreme anxiety, I cannot control death! I absolutely HATE HATE HATE the idea of losing someone I love (and at any moment of any day). Death is unpredictable & horrifying. I want the reassurance that my mother, father, brother, boyfriend, grandfather, best friend, etc will ALWAYS be around!

But alas, this is life. This is our reality. We are born, if we're lucky we live for some time, and then we must die.

I have a good deal of faith in God and in Jesus Christ. I have faith that there is a heaven for those who also trust in God (I'm not sure about my beliefs in Hell... and that's another horrible thought for an anxious person).

What I've noticed is that I am SO AFRAID of watching others die, but when it actually occurs, I grieve, I cry, I scream, I smile, I move on. I have seen this happen when I lost my grandmother to cancer (we were very close, too) and when I lost my favorite dog (hey, I loved him dearly!!). The idea of someone dying may actually be more scary then when it actually happens (just like preparing for a roller coaster ride is always scarier than the actual ride). I haven't yet lost my parents, so I'm not sure how I'll react to that.

**On another note (Sorry this is so long): I had a beautiful dream about my grandmother many months after she passed. I should say that was the only dream I've ever had of her after she passed. My grandmother had a TON of faith in God and she died very peacefully surrounded by those who love her. Well, in my dream, I was surrounded by family and friends at a very long table. We were enjoying a meal when all of the sudden I looked up and I saw her sitting right across from me. My mouth flew open and I remember being in shock (in the dream I knew she was dead). I looked at her as if to say "What are you doing here!!!" and she simply smiled, nodded her head, and that was ALL. That dream is my absolute favorite dream because I really believe she came to tell me, "I'm absolutely fine. Do not worry. I will see you again"

I encourage all of you who suffer with fear and anxiety over death (or anything else, for that matter) to look to peace and comfort from God. I'm not trying to evangelize, I simply want to encourage anyone suffering. Prayer and faith is the only thing that has ever gotten me through my anxiety, depression, and nervous thoughts.

SENDING MY LOVE & PRAYERS TO ALL OF YOU.
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replied January 6th, 2013
FEAR of Dying
Hello,
Im recently started to suffer from anxiety over dying, i am really going through a difficult time because i am getting very depress over this. I am lucky because i have both of my parents, my sister, by brother, my grandparents and my son. But lately i have crazy thought about what dying really is. I see it as the end, i cannot see it any other way, and it is really hard for me to get over the fact that my son will day some day too. I pray for God to let me live many years and to let my son son live many years as well. But the not knowing what happens after we die, and the fact that I wont be with my son is killing me. I am not being myself i can not understand life right now and why we have to die. I really need help, I have talked to people about this some just blow me off and some actually try to help me. I went to mass today and as i was there i felt goo but just now i started feeling anxious. I do not want to live with this fear.. Please somebody help me
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replied January 20th, 2012
I have nightmare every night. I can't sleep i just sit there and watch my wife and kids sleep. I go to church and pray. But sometime's it don't help. I have seen eveyone i ever loved die in my dreams. I tried to talk to my mom and dad about it and they tell me to grow up. Do you have any advice.
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replied January 26th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Chez,

i too suffer the same. I'm starting to think every mother does. I worry that my children will not be here the next day, and find myself always checking on them to make sure they are still "here". Then I worry about leaving them, them not truely knowing me. I just wish that I could be assured that we will be together for a long period of time...If not forever. I wonder how my husband would feel if I died. Sometimes I can't bear to think about it, but do anyway. But then I realize that I have to live for "now", because tomorrow may not come. I hope we can get over this.

Jennifer
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replied January 26th, 2004
Thank You All For Your Help!
Thank you all for replying to my e-mail. I think that many people want to talk about death and the afterlife but it is not a subject spoken about. I do believe in angels and I hope that they will give me some answers someday. With love, chez
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replied January 26th, 2004
Scared of Dying
I too am afraid of dying, wondering if it will hurt, how does it really feel when you dye. I have lost my mother and father, and that was really hard for me. And now I am so scared of losing my husband and sons, and grandkids I don't know how I would handle this, it is something so hard to go thru. Shocked
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replied January 26th, 2004
No Longer Afraid
I guess you look at death differently when you are faced with health problems, (which I have many of), I know that I will die and in the begining I use to cry all the time because I thought it was so unfair that I have to deal with everything and have to fear dying because it's not a what if for me it's a it will happen. I've watched my mother suffer for the past three years and know that if the cancer doesn't get me this will. I've come to realize that everyone dies and we have no control over that, why spend time scared of something when you are alive now, you have this day and tomorrow will take care of itself.
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replied January 30th, 2004
Hi chez well I too go in to a depression when I think about death I mean I dont understand it and I dont know where we go I mean I think about being put in the ground and I think about how my kids would suffer losing there mother and I tend to think that I made a mistake bringing them into this world I gave them a birth day and a death day if I knew what I know now I prolly would of never had kids just to spare them the pain... But anyways I wanted to let you know that you are not alone its a very depressing issue that we all will go through hopefully the transiton isnt so bad. Sad
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replied July 25th, 2005
I too worry about dying and wonder about anyone who doesnt.

Im not scared of the pain of death anywhere near as much as I am scared of the inevititability of death - the complete end of life as we know it and the loss of everything we ever value as part of that

my fear is that death is the end and that there is nothing else to follow.

The complete and utter certainty that I will grow old then die haunts me and has since I was a child - went through a phase where I couldnt sleep because of it

how do some people just live their lives with no thought to this? We are all going to die and its so totally utterly final - how come we are not all complete freaks thinking about it????
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replied August 4th, 2005
I'm not scared of dying, i'm scared of the process of dying regarding pain. I know what is awaiting after life. Anyone who is scared need not be. If you do some research and read the bible, it is all made clear. Have a little faith, give your life to jesus christ and you'll be fine. I was scared before I walked the right path, now that i'm on it and know what the score is there is nothing to fear.

Jesus is with you always, just pray and open your heart to him.

Great things await us in the after life... But you have to admit jesus christ is the son of god. If you do not believe this you're eternity will be dark. Don't take my word for it, again read the bible. God's personal letter to us.
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replied August 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Yeah Me Too
Iv been worrying about it to its scares me when I wake up I think about it and it eats me up inside untill I dont know what to do its like im getting older now and I think about how much more longer do I got plus I have anxiety and depression and I dont wanna die like this you know I wanna do something with my life and live it happey and not worry about it constantly but I do and it sucks so yeah I think about it to your not alone ...
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replied August 6th, 2005
I Have It Too
In some sort of weird way I kinda glad to read that I am not the only one with this problem. I have been thinking about dying every day since 2 years now. I remember very clearly, I was walking my dog and it suddenly hit me that someday that I was going to die.

It was very weird and since that day I have never stopped thinking about it. I too am scared of the thought of not existing. I sometimes forget about it and then it just hits me right in the face.

On the outside nobody knows that I suffer from anxiety attacks, my mom thinks i'm being stupid so I am really glad I can write it down here.

I just want to live my life like before, when I didn't think about it. I don't wanna think about it and just be like everyone else...
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replied March 27th, 2011
I have the same thing. Some days Im perfectly fine, and the next its like a slap to the face. I actually get panic attacks from it. I always have to take a few seconds to remind myself to breathe. Its so scary, especially because Im only just turning 18. I always feel like the end is so much closer than what it is. It affects everything I do. It actually makes me reconsider being with people, because who would want to be with someone if they knew that they were constantly depressed? It feels like there is no end to the pain. I could never even tell my parents. I've told them once before and it ended with a stab in the back. It hurts. The thoughts sometime feel like they are rotting my brain.
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replied May 31st, 2011
Single mother fears leaving child who fears her mommy dying
I have anxiety too and it hurts when our loved ones think it is dumb or stupid. I have a fear of dying and leaving my seven year old daughter who is alreadu fearing that I will die. I had a medical condition that left me in the hospital for a month and now she is scared I will die. I do not want to dissapoint her and I fear I will die when she is young and I will hurt her and I can't handle the possibility of me causing her pain. Her father does not see her anymore and I have no partner to talk with because I am a single mother. I don't know why I think I am going to die young, and maybe it is because I am fearful of it and do not want to make my daughter's worst dream come true. I want to live until she is of age to be okay with it. I have anxiety and it makesit worse. I wish I could make the fear go away.
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replied August 12th, 2005
Yeah, I Definately Need Some Talkin To!
Okay i've read the posts and it makes me feel better to know i'm not the only one who thinks about this... I think about it constantly though... I mean there are very few days that it doesn't pop into my mind... And it starts really messing with me... Like it will make me have bad anxiety and i'm only 20!! I know where i'm going when I die... It has nothing to do with the "fear of actually dying"... My dream is to make a life for myself and have a family one day, kids, career,home,dog... Ya know, just the works... Thats all i'm living for.... I've seen young people go in my time, and I know god has a plan for me... But for some reason, i'm scared his plan won't be for me to grow old and see my kids have kids... I don't have kids yet... And honestly i'm in no hurry to right away... In a couple of years or so.... But I don't know... I worry about everything... Sure.. I'll welcome death too when i'm old and gray and i've lived my life ya know.. I don't know why I stress about it cause I know theres nothing I can do to alter god's plan... But i'm always thinking something is wrong with me, like I have cancer or i'm going to choke, or I get dizzy so I think i'm bout to pass out and die or something... Any advice would greatly be appreciated!! P.S. The reason for this post even is cause I was just having an "anxiety" attack I suppose... Cause I was shaking, lightheaded,and dizzy..... So I looked fear of dying up on the internet
thanks!!!
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replied August 13th, 2005
Yah Your Not Alone
I know how it feels, it take me years to finally deal with it but sometimes I cant help it but to worry and in the end when my imagination runs! Men! My head hurts really bad.. Mine started when I was about to go to school and the suddenly a crazy question pop in to my head "what if this is your last day" at that moment I can tell I you I had chills and then fear came, the whole day im thinking of it and sometimes I feel that it is hard for me to concentrate which is very unusal to me.. Last year i've decided to talk to a counselor, because I feel like giving up..But my friends know about it, and they keep on supporting me which I guess help me..But I cant deny it the fear is still there.. But what the !@#^! Life is beautiful!! And I won't those crazy thoughts manipulate me.. I know our mind are very powerful, but hey I dont want to be miserable for life and it can lead me to a branch of complicated disease which I dont want to happen!..
Whenever I feel my attacks, i'l just get my pad and pencil and then draw or a pen and paper and then write the things inside my head.. And viola! Im okay atleast and then il talk to my friends about our adventuresa and all those stuff... You'll just have to deal with it and fight that battle on anxiety!.. Im not saying that im completely over it I still have those but c'mon im not born to be anxious for the rest of my life.. :d
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replied August 13th, 2005
Yah Your Not Alone
I know how it feels, it take me years to finally deal with it but sometimes I cant help it but to worry and in the end when my imagination runs! Men! My head hurts really bad.. Mine started when I was about to go to school and the suddenly a crazy question pop in to my head "what if this is your last day" at that moment I can tell I you I had chills and then fear came, the whole day im thinking of it and sometimes I feel that it is hard for me to concentrate which is very unusal to me.. Last year i've decided to talk to a counselor, because I feel like giving up..But my friends know about it, and they keep on supporting me which I guess help me..But I cant deny it the fear is still there.. Life is beautiful!! And I won't those crazy thoughts manipulate me.. I know our mind are very powerful, but hey I dont want to be miserable for life and it can lead me to a branch of complicated disease which I dont want to happen!..
Whenever I feel my attacks, i'l just get my pad and pencil and then draw or a pen and paper and then write the things inside my head.. And viola! Im okay atleast and then il talk to my friends about our adventuresa and all those stuff... You'll just have to deal with it and fight that battle on anxiety!.. Im not saying that im completely over it I still have those but c'mon im not born to be anxious for the rest of my life.. :d
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replied August 13th, 2005
Experienced User
I do that every night but it's more hysterical laughter and insane thoughts than depression. If you are of higher intellect and ever get manic it seems like you are having a million thoughs a second and that you might actually figure something out no one else has. It's a design, it's a curse, we'll be reincarnated into dolphins or trees, blah blah blah. Fate and pre-destination, does it even matter what we do? What if you have no control over what you do(design and fate). Is god dead and are we on a runaway train of stuff I am agnostic but I highly doubt that a god? Cares about sophisticated monkeys who like guns and mcdonalds. What's everything to one person but nothing to anyone else. Your mind! Meditation helps a lot of people but I haven't done that. Exercising a few hours before bed will get your endorphins pumping and then bring on a great wave of calm. If not, maybe take something like xanax or klonopin so that you'll relax and not have so many thoughts of doom, panic and what happens when we die.

"every living creature on earth dies alone." - donnie darko

"people say that you'll die faster than without water but we know it's just a lie, scare your son, scare your daughter." - the arcade fire
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replied August 14th, 2005
Experienced User
I have always been a little scarred about dieing, but not enough to really bother me about it. We all have to die some time and the sooner you face the fact the soon you will forget about it. Dont let something like this stop you from enjoying life.
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replied August 14th, 2005
Experienced User
Wow. I am new here but I have been suffering depression on and off for many years. When I saw this topic I was in shock because I have been having fears of death lately. I was doing well and depression free for a while untill this summer. I had two very close family members die here recently and I have had a hard time dealing with it. Also, this summer I have been pretty sick the whole time, in and out of the hospital and emergency room. First it was my gallbladder and it got removed but I was still having pain. The next thing they did was a scope and found and ulcer caused by h pylori. They also thought that I might have this rare syndrome that is fatel and I had to wait on the results for about two weeks. During that whole time I thought I was going to die. Luckly I dont have this syndrome but it was sure scary. I am still feeling sick all the time and I am constantly thinking I have something that is going to kill me. The docs keep telling me to relax because it is preventing my ulcer from healing but thats easier said than done.
Anyway, that is my reason for being scared. I am a christian and I do believe in god and jesus. The thing I fear is if there is really a heaven or just nothing. I know I am just supposed to believe and I also know there is nothing I can do about it, but is scares me so much. The thing that bugs me is that we have no proof that there is a heaven because no one has been there and came back besides jesus. I read this one website about near death experiances and how these people believe they went to heaven for a breif moment. The stories sound neat and all but they are different from one and other. That brings me to the question that I thought we all went to the same heaven, so how could it be different for each person? I also went and talked to a pastor which did help me a little because I am not worrying constantly now but it is still happening a lot. I am just really glad to see that I am not the only one suffering with these thoughts. Maybe we could all be a support for one and other.

Tia
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replied August 14th, 2005
Experienced User
I am also afraid of death, I am 23 and I dont drive, I am terrified that the day I drive im going to get in an accident and die lol its crazy, im also afraid that if I leave my daughter and go to work that if im not there then something bad will happen to her, it sucks, I always tyhink the worst is going to happen and I have always been like that, when I was little I used to ask my mom every night before bed if something bad was going to happen :lol: I make myself sick with worry.
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replied August 16th, 2005
Experienced User
I think everyone is scarred of dieing a little bit. I mean I really dont care that much but obviously ifyou think about it. It is going to scare you a little bit. Its normal. The best thing to do is just not too think about it. You are still young so you dont have to worry about stuff like that for a long time yet. And when the time comes it wont be so bad its your time to go. And you wont be scarred anymore :d just try not to think about it.
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