Well, this is tough. First it's hard because everyone is different in what they like and second, it's not exactly easy to explain.

With that I will say that if you aren't already you should be open and communicate easily with your wife. After that, when you are having sex, oral or otherwise, pay attention to what she likes, she will move, moan, her breathing will change, and so on.

Now then, to answer your question: kiss her and touch her everywhere, her lips, neck, breasts, nipples, stomach, hips, legs (inner thigh esp.) and then put some focus into her clit/vagina. But don't stop touching the rest of her body with your hands. Okay, don't forget that, use your whole body, not just your tongue. Try licking her clit slowly at first, she should become much more responsive to you by now. Then go with more pressure and a faster pace. Some people like this and some don't you can try "tongue-doing it" her, that's pretty self-explanitory but just in case - it's when you thrust in and out of her vagina with your tongue. Make sure your nails are trimmed verrrry well and when she is extremely excited put one or two fingers inside of her vagina, about one to two inches in, towards the front (think: closer to her clit, farther from her ass). Ok, congratulations you are touching or close to touching her g-spot. Keep licking her clit, with one hand caress her whole body, with the other stimulate her g-spot.
Ok, you now have two options, get her off like this or stop and medical question her - whatever the two of you decide.
I personally like this to be foreplay, but I like to be teased. It makes for a much more intense orgasm.
I think I explained it pretty well but if you have any other questions ask here or pm me, whatever you're comfortable with.

Well I can tell you some common problems that i've come across, being a women, in terms of recieving oral sex. First of all, if you know where/what the clit is you're way ahead of the game. One thing is, don't be too rough.. Particularly with the clitoris. Don't suck or lick the clitoris with too much force. It's very sensitive down there and that does not feel good. Also, you can lick the labia and lips if you want to but, realize that there's not much pleasure there.. Your best bet is to stick with licking mainly the clitoris and vaginal opening. Also, make sure you keep a steady rhythem if you want her to orgasm. Have fun with it at first but, if you notice that she is getting into it and you want to make her orgasm.. Keep a steady rhythem going. Hope this helps.

Maia and orthogirl,

thank you so much for your replies and your advice. I am pleased with what you said because most of what you're suggesting is what I do or try to do already.

But the one thing I haven't done really, rather stupidly on my part, is to ask my wife how she likes things to be done. She always seems to be very much into it so i've always tried to go by the signs she is giving me. But I suppose a bit of verbal communication would be a good idea as well. Thanks maia for suggesting that, you have helped me to think of things a little differently.

It's funny how sometimes it's easier to ask a stranger a question than your own wife. Things are a little easier for me in some respects because I am my wife's first lover and hence she has no way of comparing my love-making. But still I want to be the absolute best for her, because it's another small way to show her how much I love her.

Anyway, thank you again. I hope I too can offer some advice to you both at some time in the future.

Take care...

Sex can be an uncomfortable and awkward subject. But I think your wife would like to talk about it. Since she is inexperienced she is probably very shy when it comes to talking about sex, i'm sure she would really appreciate it if you were the one to bring the topic up.
I love your reason for asking this question. Love motivates people more than anything else so I think you'll do just fine. And what orthorgirl said about being ahead of the game because you know where/what the clit is... That is true, true, true.
Good luck stu, but somehow I don't think you'll need it.

Some girls like to be licked slowly and then sucked on but not too hard

Start off slow and increase the pace as she gets excited.

For gods sake be gentle. The worst thing is when a guy find the clitoris and thinks that's all there is to it. Dont be rough, if you're using a pointed tongue instead of a flat one just bear in mind how sensitive the clirotis is and too much hard stimulation will just hurt.

Sounds like u have it sussed anyway. Any guy who is as eager as you to know how to please his partner is 90% of the way there anyway!

I agree with the others...Definitely be gentle. A woman's clitoris has far more nerve endings in it than the head of a man's penis, and all those nerves packed into that tiny organ means it's extremely sensitive. My advice would be to just experiment with different motions and see what she likes best. It's very difficult to get a woman to orgasm through oral sex, so don't expect it to happen on the first try. Also, for the love of all that's good, do not use your teeth around that area of her body...Unless, of course, she's a bit of a masochist.

Make sure she's comfortable, too - comfort will help open up communication so she may better tell you what she enjoys. Telling you may not always be in the form of words, however. You'll need to watch the way she reacts. The fact that she has no one to compare you to may be a benefit.

Good luck.

Thank you melissa, fiona and cambion, I really appreciate your input and advice.

Another question that I have, following on from maia's comment, and something I have often wondered, is about the whole tongue-in-vagina thing. I mean actual tongue penetration into the vagina. I have read that some women like this and some don't. For some it's a turn on and for some it's a total turn-off.

I understand (and please correct me if I am wrong) that most of the nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening so I can see why tongue penetration could be stimulating. But as a guy I quite obviously have no idea what a women will feel from tongue penetration compared to say a finger or something bigger. And how does this feeling compare or differ to sensations generated from the clit?

Can any of you can help me further with my latest questions?

Thanks again ladies...

Tongue penetration is just like any other method of foreplay. Alright think of it this way, if you were to touch your finger or penis to your arm it would have a certain feeling, then if you touched your tongue to your arm it would be different. I guess it's just the different sensation, if that makes any sense. Not just the movements, but the actual texture and complete feeling.

As for the difference between clitoral and vaginal stimulation.. The clit is very, very, very sensitive. It might be compared to a man's frenulum. Yes, I think that is a good comparison. Maybe that will help you understand it better. And the vagina could be compared to the rest of your penis. As far as the level of stimulation/pleasure goes I think that is the best example I can give to a man.

Like this:

when a man recieves oral sex he enjoys his *entire genital area* to be stimulated but when his partner touches his *frenulum* it is much more intense.

When a woman recieves oral sex she enjoys her *entire vaginal area* to be stimulated but when her partner touches her *clitoris* it is much more intense.

See there, an example to prove my comparison. Hmm, I think I did pretty good with that.

Thanks again maia,

yes, your comparison works very well in making things more clear to me. I understand now that stimulation of the entire vagina is important as it all builds towards achieving orgasm. While different parts have different sensitivities they all play an important role in the pleasure.

I have just ordered a bouquet of a dozen red roses and a box of luxury belgian chocolates to be delivered to my wife this afternoon. A bit corny I know, but I like to let her know she's special. And after all, foreplay is not all about the bedroom is it. I mean, other things help create the mood as well. And there's always room for a bit of romance.

Ok, i'll stop now before I start sounding too soft and wimpish!

take care...

I don't know about other women, but for me, the clitoris is really the only part of me that actually takes me towards orgasm. Sure, touching everywhere else feels amazing, but if there is no clitoral stimulation, i'm not going anywhere x-) when I masturbate by myself, I normally don't do anything at all besides clitoral stimulation.

When my boyfriend does oral, he does do the "whole package", and without going into too much gross detail, lets just say that hands and tongue are both fun at the same time pay attention to the clitoris; most women can't actually orgasm easily or at all off of their g-spot, because it makes us feel like we have to pee, and we certainly don't want to do that all over our lover! That's a goal to work forwards too as you two grow closer. Try to do that for her and let her know that's what you're going for; let her go to the bathroom anytime during that she feels she needs to, and maybe even do it in the shower so she'll feel less self-conscious if she ends up "gushing". It will allow her to relax and let go, which is essential to orgasming from the g-spot.

Thanks eiri,

i did actually try a bit of g-spot stimulation quite early on in our relationshp. My wife was the first one i'd ever tried that with, and nobody had ever tried it with her before. And I must admit it worked very well. She was suprised by this new feeling she was having and really enjoyed it. But we didn't take it too far.

I have used g-spot stimulation on other occasions but again only for short periods without really continuing. I'm a bit wary of what it the correct motion/pressure to apply to the g-spot. I'm a little timid of being too inquisitive 'in there' as everything feels so delicate. Perhaps this is definitely where I need guidance from her as there's no point in me trying to guess what feels good and what feels bad.

I would love to be able to give her a g-spot orgasm, and i'm aware that the consequences of that may mean a little soaking!
i love how many components there are to a woman's orgasm. I mean, it's like a little voyage of discovery for me. As a man I can say it's all too simple for me to orgasm. There's very few ways you can go wrong really, apart from things like careless use of fingernails or trying to bend the penis the wrong way! That is always a mood killer!

thanks again, take care...

Stu, why don't all guys care about a woman's pleasure as much as you?

Marry me for f*ck sake!

Only jokin'

Wow fiona,

that's the first time a woman's ever proposed to me! Tell you what, i'll run it by my wife and if she's agreeable then, sure, i'll marry you!

on second thoughts, I don't fancy getting a black eye so maybe I won't mention it to my wife!

i think that when i'm with a woman then giving her pleasure is 99% of the fun. I mean, if I wanted purely to achieve personal pleasure then I don't need to have a woman next to me, I could just masturbate.


When i'm with my wife I have all the time in the world to try and give her as much pleasure as possible. I am in no hurry to 'get myself off'. It's much easier for me to reach orgasm so I know that I can achieve it pretty much at any stage during the proceedings. So why rush. I love every part of my wife's body, and I want to spend time on every part. And I am eager to learn as much as I can to become a better lover.


Like I said before, I consider myself moderately experienced as a lover and I know that I am definitely not the worst in the world. Maybe i'm even a good lover, although it's not for me to say. But where I will never fail is through lack of effort. I will always try to be better and better. Not in a competitive sense, but in a growing and learning sense. I want to be the best for my wife in every way, she deserves it.


Take care...

i'm like this too. I'll make her orgasm from oral before penetration. I know in *my case* though I have a small penis (4.75") sooo, she doesn't get much from just intercourse!

From my experience men that are good at oral sex really enjoy oral sex. I have seeing that not all men like oral sex. I had a bf once he disliked the idea of oral sex and he didn't even liked that I give him bj. Then I had another bf that was totally into oral sex, more than the actual sex I would dare to say and he was very skillfull since he enjoy it so much.

Eiri
g-spot ejaculation

females ejaculate? Yes, they do. We’re talking about a gusher of fluid spurting out of her vagina as she comes. Actually, to be more accurate, the fluid comes squirting out of her urethra. Don’t let this gross you out, though; it’s not pee! Female cum is a clear, odorless liquid produced by a small organ called the “female prostate,” or urethral sponge, which is located between the urethra and vagina. The fluid it produces just happens to come out of the pee hole, but...So does guys’ semen, right?
While some women may experience ejaculation naturally in the course of intercourse or other sex play, most require some concentrated stimulation of the g-spot. Massaging the g-spot causes the urethral sponge to become engorged with fluid, which is then expelled during orgasm. And, as with an orgasm, ejaculation also requires the woman to “let go.” before ejaculating, the woman will feel as though she is going to pee. However, it is nearly impossible for her to urinate while coming, because the muscular contractions of orgasm close off the bladder and prevent the passage of urine.
As she gets closer to coming, she will start to feel as though she has to urinate. That’s the cum beginning to flow into her urethra. In order for her ejaculate, she has to relax, let go, and push down and out with the same muscles she would use as if she were peeing. It may be hard to overcome the impulse to hold back, but you can reassure her, again, that if she is coming, she will not pee.

Instead, as she comes and pushes the fluid out, she should feel extra intense orgasmic pleasure, and you should be rewarded with a spurt of nectar that may range from gentle gush to a drenching spray.

Hi stu,

you are my kind of guy!!!! Being interested and wanting to is half the battle. With time, love and practice everything else will come. I agree with everyone about starting out slow and not just focusing too much on the clitoris in the beginning. If you lick around the other areas and just tease the clitoris eventually she will want your tongue there. Also you can use your fingers at the same time, touch the area and lick it. And when you get to be a real conniseur use a vibrator and tongue at the same time.

I used to date this one guy and he blew my mind. He would stimulate me in so many different ways in my vaginal area (and sometimes anal) using his fingers, hand, vibrators or tongue that I would have an orgasm again and again. Thanks to him, I am multi-orgasmic and I do ejaculate unfortunately I never met anyone else that was a true connisseur of cunnilungus like him. I don't know about your wife, but after I have my 1st orgasm, I need the stimulation slowed down a little so I can build up for the next one. Have fun!!!

Not all women are capable of ejaculating like that. Only a few does.