Broken Hearted Forum

Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > Betrayed

Q: Betrayed

asked by: badlyhurt on September 25th, 2006

New User

I've been with the wife for eight years. We were coming up on our fourth anniversary being married. About two years ago I found out I was diabetic and had high blood pressure. I was given meds for the conditions. I soon found that I was having a hsrd time sexually. I was embarrassed. My wife believed that it was because I did not want to make love with her. After some time I came clean and explained the situation. I began to take supplements and it was helping. During this time, I felt that something was wrong. My wife seemed to be getting too comfortable with my brother's brother in law. We all were friends but something just didn't seem right. My wife recently left me stating that she fell out of love with me about a year and a half ago. I am devastated because I have always tried to be the best husband I can. I work hard, am faithful and love her to death. I suspected that she was with my brother's brother in law. She got an apartment. I went to where he works with a friend to confirm my suspicions. She picked him up from work and they drove off. I'm very hurt and don't know how long this has been going on. Anyone have any advise. I still love her but their betrayal is devastating. He was like a brother to me.

Replies(7)

Melissa_20

replied on September 26th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

I'm sorry your wife put you through all this mess,but maybe its better for you to get out now.She obviously doesn't respect you enough and decided it was over all on her own,didn't even ask you or try to fix whatever was wrong.If you want and if it would make you feel better,confront her about her actions and maybe she will open up and talk to you.Sorry!

badlyhurt

replied on September 28th, 2006

New User

Thanks melissa for the words. She will not take any of my calls. It is very hard to hear what a great time she is having while i'm left wondering what I did wrong. I realize that I have faults but nothing that would deserve this. I'm trying to cope with the fact that alot of the people in my inner circle are aware that she is with him and seem to feel that this behavior is ok. Maybe i'm just old fashioned but I believed that when you got married by church, it was supposed to mean something. I know that I would try to resolve whatever issues without bailing out like this..

Dean_p32

replied on October 5th, 2006

New User

badlyhurt wrote:

thanks melissa for the words. She will not take any of my calls. It is very hard to hear what a great time she is having while i'm left wondering what I did wrong. I realize that I have faults but nothing that would deserve this. I'm trying to cope with the fact that alot of the people in my inner circle are aware that she is with him and seem to feel that this behavior is ok. Maybe i'm just old fashioned but I believed that when you got married by church, it was supposed to mean something. I know that I would try to resolve whatever issues without bailing out like this..

that is so heart breaking to hear Sad

ive left my x coz I fell out of love after 6 months and me being a teenager feels like the end of the world to me! But that makes my problem look so small! What can I say.. U desurv better.... But I bet you couldnt imagine this life with out her? And life seems so empty and pointless with out her there... I sort of no the feelings as what im going through but its nothing compared to you.. I gess we just need to hang in there (i no how much it sux when ya hear what a good time there having when all we seem to be doing is crying about it all)

Melissa_20

replied on October 6th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

dean_p32 wrote:

badlyhurt wrote:

that is so heart breaking to hear Sad

aaah,but the difference between your situations dean,is you can fix it.He can't.You can be happy but you wont allow yourself to be.

lindsey8

replied on March 7th, 2007

New User

I Am There

Hi Badyhurt,

I am almost in the same place you are. I have been betrayed by my boyfriend of five years. I am 40 and he is 51. We lived together for the past five years. Suddenly one night he goes into a whole depression thing. Long story short, I find out two days later he is in love with someone else he met on the internet. I put ALL my hopes and dreams into the relationship (and my money). I thought we were going to grow old together. Even after I found out, he wanted to be my friend and live in my house for another couple months (so he could stash money to save for his new lovenest)! He left without any remorse or guilt. Won't take my calls. Is completely cold-hearted. We rarely fought. I thought the relationship was great. I was completely happy. The level of grief, betrayal and jealousy is consuming me. He knows I am all alone to manage a 100 year old house that he convinced me to buy, and knows that I am suffering severe depression, and yet, I know he is blissfully happy with the new sex and excitement in his life. And I am completely lonely and alone. It's a horrible feeling indeed. It's been three weeks. I hope it starts to feel better soon.

DPantelones

replied on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

badlyhurt wrote:

You're MUCH better off without that woman, you know that? what a true b word! You did NOTHING wrong, it's all on her. Don't feel bad, you should count your lucky stars you found out and can move forward with your life and not be stuck with this loser.

Honestly, it hurts now but in a couple weeks or maybe months, you'll be feeling better. We're here if you need help!

change is good

replied on March 9th, 2007

Experienced User

i know what you are going through. i too have diabetes, high blood pressure,high cholesterol and low testosterone levels. see a doctor about viagra or cialis.
i know it hurts to lose the woman you love. marriage and relationships are never easy. you have to work at them. she was not willing to work through this. it's not easy, but it's time to move on. heal. you will find someone.
i'm not having sex at the moment but i take fish oil, ginsing and have a rx for viagra. your doctor can provide free samples on occasion. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. are you overweight?
i am, but i've lost 30 lbs. and seem to get erections more frequently. i'm trying to lose another 30-50 lbs.
eventually you will find someone who will work with you and accept you for who you are. problems and all.
keep the faith and keep in touch if you need to.
remember - change is good

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