I don't know what to do or say anymore.
I don't even think anyone here will care
what I have to say, but until today I have
tried my whole life to pretend everything
is okay.. And its not.
I used to have so many friends.. I always
did well in school if I wanted to ... I
always played alot of sports. When I was
15 I got really involved in a relationship
and have not been single more than a month
since then. Slowly over this time I have
lost all my friends, I have made friends
as well in the past years, but every year
there is a net loss.. Until now.
I have one friend, and even this one
friend I am losing. When I need someone
to talk to, to hang out with, to go
partying with, anything at all.. The only
person I really have to call is my one
friend. Its not fair to him, and I can
tell that, so I try not to be too
needy...
The truth is I am not happy, and havent
been happy in a really long time... I had
a great girlfriend and lost her because of
this, and it makes life all that much
harder that every day I wish I could call
her. I go to college, I work part time
at a restaurant, and it seems like I have
lost the ability to make friends... It
feels like I dont have anything in common
with anybody... And when I do have
something in common they dont want
anything to do with me.
I am probably just depressed.. But any
sort of anti-depression medicine scares
the crap out of me. I feel like my
whole life has been a string of mistakes
and no matter what I do, I drive people
away from me, and I make things worse for
myself. I don't have the money to talk
to a psychologist or councillor, I dont
know what to do.
I might never come back to this site, but
I had to get this off my chest... There
must be people out there who need a
friend....
