I don't know what to do or say anymore. I don't even think anyone here will care what I have to say, but until today I have tried my whole life to pretend everything is okay.. And its not.

I used to have so many friends.. I always did well in school if I wanted to ... I always played alot of sports. When I was 15 I got really involved in a relationship and have not been single more than a month since then. Slowly over this time I have lost all my friends, I have made friends as well in the past years, but every year there is a net loss.. Until now.

I have one friend, and even this one friend I am losing. When I need someone to talk to, to hang out with, to go partying with, anything at all.. The only person I really have to call is my one friend. Its not fair to him, and I can tell that, so I try not to be too needy...

The truth is I am not happy, and havent been happy in a really long time... I had a great girlfriend and lost her because of this, and it makes life all that much harder that every day I wish I could call her. I go to college, I work part time at a restaurant, and it seems like I have lost the ability to make friends... It feels like I dont have anything in common with anybody... And when I do have something in common they dont want anything to do with me.

I am probably just depressed.. But any sort of anti-depression medicine scares the crap out of me. I feel like my whole life has been a string of mistakes and no matter what I do, I drive people away from me, and I make things worse for myself. I don't have the money to talk to a psychologist or councillor, I dont know what to do.

I might never come back to this site, but I had to get this off my chest... There must be people out there who need a friend....