Mediation!
Get a relationship counsellor involved - even for just a couple of sessions to put you back on the right track.
Make an effort to say (and mean it) one nice thing to each other per day and to say thank you for something to each other per day and do one nice thing per day.
It might be as simple as saying "oh you did a good job on your shave this morning", "thank you for making a cup of tea" - they don't have to be big things. In fact the little things are the best because it is often the little things we do and don't feel valued for.
Then maybe the doing would be to record a tv show the other likes but has to miss because of work or something.
Everyone needs to feel appreciated - no matter how small the deed.
And the thing my nan and granddad swear by... (over 60 years marriage) always have a kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Remember contact is essential - just hold hands while watching a movie, or lean your head on the other partners shoulder.
***edit to add***
learn forgiveness.
Basically say to each other that you accept you both said a lot of hurtful things, and that you didn't mean them but you were hurting and angry.
Say that from this day forward, you will put the past in the past and leave it there.
That you will work towards the furture together, make a fresh beginning and draw a line under past times.
This does not mean forget fun times in the past but simply that nothing in the past is to affect the future.
