Stuff taken from my other post doc, well also I didnt put that I did see a councler psychitrist person becaue i was obbsessed that i was fat and she said I wasnt and such and made it better but this just opened doors to other emotions that I didnt wanna know bout...


Well just want advice or something over stuff well I guess im depressed mixed with other things to the point...



1.I feel like life is meaningless theres no point to it you live you die so im thinking theres no point to living it.....



2.I feel like I have under everyone else like I must prove myself to each person and such...



3.Im nice to people but it seems people dont notice me and be nice back only a few should I just change and be horrible to everyone cause no one seems to like me anyways and stuff so driving them away mite make them notice me...



4.I feel like I wanna be alone alot and just not talk to anyone, also when ever I think my brain thinks to much and kinda not hurts but feels weird like a bomb is going off and there madness inside of it...


5.Im angry in split seconds say if someone says a joke and it offends me ill just go angry and such and also when im very happy I just feel down like I shouldnt be.....


6.I feel unloved and such this is my biggest fear of not being loved as alot of people that have been close to me seem to just leave my life for instince my dad came bk in my life when I was maybe 10 and I was very happy and then all of a sudden he didnt show up so I rang him and he said he was busy that day and I said ok but then never heard off him again, my mother loves me but no ones ever really made contact with me like hugs and such so I feel cold and horrible when people hug me or touch me......And also im scared of never being able to fall in love with someone for the rest of my life and it scares me alot this thought...Cause
ive never had a girlfriend before cause ive never felt the need for this until the past year or so but ive pretty much felt distant since I was 12 -13

7.I feel ugly and fat alot and people say im nice but I dont think so I think people cant see the ugly person I am...

Well dunno if you guys can like say what this is or stuff I can give you more info if you want although people wont care for this I think...

No im not wrapped in myself I dont think when I go outside and stuff I feel shy and paranoid and such things I dont really like people I dont know why just feel hate for them and myself and thanks I go on msn and stuff alot I find no trouble socializing on stuff like this alls I want to happen is for me stop feeling my emotions like love, upset and stuff cause its really making me mad to feel such things and would be nice not to feel anything but still be a good person Confused


Also forgot to put im hardly motivated anymore nothing makes me wanna do stuff I just wanna be alone and do stuff but that depresses me, ive stopped being motivated since one and a half years ago I was really close to my sisters boyfriend and we did tons of stuff together but they split up something I feared alot and he said he would keep in touch but ive not heard anything since and it just took the wind from me...

Also I feel like I have to say sorry repeatidly over stuff like oh im sorry am I annoying you and such things....

I unno if this is also tyed into it all but when I was little say 6 - 11 I had severe headaches alot that were like stabbing pains and stuff nearly like 3 times a week..