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Becky Especially eHealthy
September 20th, 2006
So me and my hubby are on a break....... We were both very destructive to eachother during the last year. I had 2 babies in 10 months and it put alot of stress on us. I decided to work from home but started to resent my hubby for going out to work and having 'freedom' with his friends etc. I used to have snide remarks at him and cause arguments. We stopped talking and would barley say a word to eachother accept to argue.

He has basically said to me that he fell out of love with me a few months ago and he wanted it to end completley but I wanted to give it another try as the realisation that I could lose him for good was my wake up call.

Now the past few days we have started talking to each other about what went wrong in our relationship and what hurt. He said that we have to get to know each other as friends again so we can rediscover ourselves again. He said no sex and its hard for me as now I feel closer to him than ever but he said we have to start afresh.

I guess i'm just asking for advice. Has anyone else been through a communication breakdown and got through it and are still together?

What can we do to rebuild our relationship?
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Sarah020406
replied September 24th, 2006
Experienced User
I think yous have got the right idea - start again and work a little harder this time. Stress will kill a relationship quicker than most other things so you really got to put everything to the side and make it work.
While I haven't been through the same thing we did have similar problems - I have got pnd and the last few months were hell. We were abusive to each other and our marriage was pretty much stuffed until I went to the doctor and found out what was going on. Since then we have made that extra effort with each other like we used to when we first got together and enjoyed our time together more.
Keep talking - thats the best advice I can give you. Just talk everything through and really listen to each other, and in the end what ever happens will be for the best.
Good luck I hope it all works out.
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DaManIam
replied September 24th, 2006
the Bank
Hi,

i'm not sure if you've heard of this analogy but here it goes.

Think of relationships as banks...Emotional banks. What you consider a deposit, lets say making him supper, he may not. He may think bringing your car to get it washed is a +1, meanwhile you didn't think twice about it.

It could be going well all week and he does 1 thing that just empties everything he worked for all week.

It takes a very long time to build trust and an emotional bank. You need to find out what it's important to each other and start building together.

Relationships have to be nurtured.

If he wants to be just friends you have a lot of mending to do.
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