My name is john im 26 im deppressed I sleep like 12 hours a day and when I wake up I feel emty inside my brain races with paranoid thoughts and feelings I always think of running away from home and going somewhere else to maybe a new town or city I dont have any friends and I think that people dont like me im sluggish and I feel so slow when I talk 2 people its like my brain is so slow I can barely speak I cant get a girlfriend I have not had a girlfriend since I was 21 even though people tell me im good looking I feel sexually fustrated I think very odd thoughts and think that life is very strange sometimes I think that im going to grow old and nothing in my life will ever change I will become a lonely old man with no friends or family I feel like death is a escape from the cruel world I live in and I welcome death I want to die I would try to kill myself but im too much of a coward to even do that im scared of the pain and the panic I would feel before death if I try to commit sucide why is life so cruel why do I feel sad all the time people think im boring because I dont like to party and when everyone else is happy im messed up if anyone can relate eo anything im saying please message me maybe somebody can help