Teen Pregnancy Forum - I Don't Wanna Feel Like This..

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Q: I Don't Wanna Feel Like This..

asked by: Zanny on September 13th, 2006

Supporter

Well my parents have told me I have to be out of the house by january/february.. Basically when my baby is very young.. So she has a "normal" relationship with her grandparents (ie. Not living with them and only seeing them once a week or so). When I first told them I was pregnant they threatened to kick me out there and then, so this is an improvement. My dad keeps going on about it at me, though, and it's starting to get me down. It seems like he can't wait to get rid of me.

As well as that, i'm having problems with other members of my family, mainly grandparents.. Constantly telling me what I should be doing, and always in a disapproving way, to show how much i've "let everyone down". I was expecting it, and yes I suppose I have let them down, but i'm doing everything I can at the moment to get my life sorted and prepared for this baby. Nothing I do is good enough for them.

Well I presume it's because of all this, but last night I actually felt like I didn't want my baby. I cried for hours.. I kept thinking "i'm ruining my life". This morning I felt slightly better; I had a driving lesson, which went well and took my mind off things for a bit.. But now i'm back to feeling like I did last night. I don't understand.. A few days ago I was talking to my bump as normal and getting excited about the birth.. But now it's like i'd rather go back to the way things were before I got pregnant.

I feel so guilty, and I feel like a terrible mother for thinking these thoughts.

Sorry.. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Replies(8)

Jules

replied on September 13th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

You are not a bad mother for having these thoughts - you are a normal woman who is going through a bloody hard time at the moment! Don't be so hard on yourself - it sounds like you've got plenty of other people doing that for you. At the end of the day, it is your life and it's nobody's business what you do with it. Bringing a baby into the world is hardly a heinous crime - I can understand family members being a bit frosty if you'd announced you wee going to become a prostitute or something but for god's sake!!!!!

I know in an ideal world, you would have your family's full support but please don't give up. You can do this. You will be a fantastic mummy, i'm sure. Don't feel guilty about any thoughts you have; it's actions that count.

fun_inthesun

replied on September 13th, 2006

New User

Your not a bad mother... My and my boyfriend are in the same boat.....See he wants to do music like perfessionally...Spelled that wrong sorry.. But he wants to do music... It isnt sooo bad.. But he got intot he best combo at our school..( we go to an arts school) and he just got in yesterday already he has like 10 trips to go on... To different states and..Everything.. He will be busy....When im pregant he wont be there...For me....And im scared he wont be there for the baby or be there when its born.......He will be soo busy...

We havent told our parents yet.. We want to make sure we have everything straight...

I feel the same way thou.. Like having a baby will hold him bac.. And me and I sometimes say I dont want it.. And im depressed..And I have soo muchs chool work already..Im in over my head...

But.. I thought about all the after stuff... After high school and everything else... And what the baby really means to us......
You will get throught it... Its tuff to think like that.. But everyone does sometimes...

diamondsz

replied on September 13th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Zany dont feel bad hun it is normal, we go through stages where we wish we werent pregnant, to stages of anxiety waiting for baby. I have to admit though that what your parents are doing is mental abuse and it may be better if you actually move out, you didnt let your family down they let you down and dont forget that. Yes you had sex zany, but your parents are your guardian till 18 I believe down there and if anythinig it is partially there fault and yours but your taking responsibilities for your actions girl, your being more mature than they are!!!!!

I think you should tell your parents/grand-parents to back off and tell them how immature/hypocrits they are being personally that is what I would have done but im abit more blunt/staright forward then some of you.

Eyes Wide Shut

replied on September 13th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

You know, your mom and dad might say these things now, but once you're little one comes and they get to hold and snuggle with him/her. (forgot what you were having...Sorry)

they'll totally change their outlook!! They just want you to have the best life for you and your angel. They don't want you to become, essentially, a moocher. But if they see you're working and trying hard to get on your feet, i'm sure they'll slack up on you..Ya know?

What does the baby's daddy have to sat about all of this? Is he gonna be any help for you and the baby financially?

Don't worry about those feelings you're having about not wanthing your child. You just have to have a positive outlook!!

Good .Luck girl!!

Sarah

Zanny

replied on September 14th, 2006

Supporter

Thanks girls, I really appreciate your replies =)

i spoke to my boyfriend about all this last night and he's being as supportive as he can be, which is what I needed to hear.. He thinks my parents are being unfair and shouldn't expect me to move out the minute our daughter is born. If I did have to, he would eventually move in with me, but that wouldn't happen for a while because he's only just got a pay-rise, he needs to save up a lot of money before he can even think about moving out, and he needs to make sure he can get a job here straight away. He lives about 250 miles away from me at the moment, so I doubt we'll be living together for a while yet.

He's more than happy to give me money every month, though, so financially we should manage, as i'm entitled to a certain amount of money each week as well. Money will be tight, but i've managed to get a lot of baby stuff already, so i'm pretty sure we'll cope.

I'm going to talk to my parents about it, I want them to realise that I do want to move out in the next year or so, but for the first couple of months after the birth i'm going to need time to get my head together, and moving out straight away won't be an option.

I got to hear my baby's heartbeat again this morning, when I saw my midwife. It made me smile, I love hearing it.. And when she told me everything was ok and that she could feel the baby's head etc. I couldn't help but feel attached to my little one again.. So that's a good thing, i'm hoping the negative thoughts I was having weren't my true feelings.

Melissa_20

replied on September 14th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Hun,my mom told my older sister she had to get out when she was pregnant.She stayed and my mom said she had to get her own place soon. It has been almost 2 years since then and my mother loves my nephew to pieces and wold be heart broken if they moved! Lol I wouldn't wory.Tell your grandparents to mind their own business cause you already get enough crap as it is!

DaliciaLynn

replied on September 14th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

It will be different when the baby is actually there, I promise!

Your not a bad mom for feeling this way, it's pretty normal actually. I remember when I got home from the hospital, it took a while for me to get on a routine and things, and putting myself in your place and having to move right after would be so much stress and so hard. If your mom is going to be like that, then she shouldnt be in your child's life anyways. That's really messed up & immature.

I wish you lived close to me, I am moving into a pretty big house and would let you, the baby and your bf stay as long as you liked!

People just suck sometimes, but i'm sure everyone will soften up once they've seen the baby.

Zanny

replied on September 14th, 2006

Supporter

That's really sweet of you to say that, .Dalicia.. Thanks =)

hopefully my little girl will have all 4 grandparents and 4 great-grandparents fussing over her when she's here! My gran has been busy knitting blankets for her and everything; it makes me really happy that at least some members of my family are looking forward to the new arrival.

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