I honestly think i'm a burden in other
people's lives and I don't know how to
live the way I want.
These days I find myself arguing with my
mom often. I mean, one day we're cool
with each other, and the other day we're
yelling at each other. A lot of the time
it really is my fault (and a lot of the
times I think she worries too much) for
her getting angry, but I just can't handle
it and I yell back. I say things like
"awe! Why are you always getting mad!
Why you get mad over that! Leave me
alone. I didn't do anything! Why you so
mean?" and probably some other stupid
things. I come off as a really whiny fool
loser and I really don't want to be like
that anymore. Plus I make really
stupid noises that just annoy my family
members because it's a habit. Everything
mentioned in this paragraph are some of
the reasons why I don't maintain my
dignity.
I really hate doing stupid things. I
often find myself doing really stupid
things and it's really embarassing. I
don't know how to be helpful and I think
i'm gonna be more useless more than I
already am if I don't do something about
it. For example, I was at work and my
boss told me to get a ladle for him. The
thing was that I didn't even know what a
ladle was. I saw that the boss was
frustrated because it was busy and I
wasn't being much of a help and the
customers might've saw the stupid incident
as well. People say I shouldn't make a
big deal out of these things, but if I
keep on being this stupid in very
important situations, then i'm gonna find
it difficult to get somewhere in life.
Another thing that has been depressing me
for years is the fact I have no friends.
Before school started, I promised myself
that I would make friends. Well, school
started and I barely even talk to people,
which is something I didn't expect to do.
My shyness is holding me back. When I do
talk to someone, I don't know how to do an
interesting conversation. When I finally
pushed myself to talk to this girl I
actually knew today (i wasn't trying to
get with her), I got nervous and I think I
just blew it. I'm just tired of
walking around so loney like a loser all
the time.
I honestly think I have nothing or at
least not very much. These things take
away my motivation to succeed because I
feel i'm alone in this. I can't do this
all by myself. I see people with their
friends supporting each other. Even the
people with no friends are at least smart,
so they know how to succeed. I on the
other hand have nothing to back me up. I
just don't feel like trying anymore. It's
always on my mind.
Please help me, because I don't wanna
whine about all this anymore. It's stupid
and lame.
Peace.
Last edited by Aspiration on 09-12-06 18:20pm; edited 2 times in total
|
dc83
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2006 Posts: 3
Don't Push, When You Gotta Pull.. Posted: 09-12-06 02:52am
I'm going to tell you something that my
dad told me a few years ago, when I was
going through some issues in my life and
feeling the things and thinking the things
that you seem to be thinking at the
moment.. "your mom and i, we love you..
We love you so much, that we'd do anything
for you..Why, we'd even give our lives for
you..But, the only thing we can't do is
live your life for you.. "
now I know this won't solve all the
problems, or stop all the feelings, but I
hope it'll help you realize this..That you
can talk to your mom, and that she only
worries because she cares.. I know you've
probably heard this many times, but it's
true.. And talking about it online and
relieving it anonymously may be easier,
but confiding in someone you trust and
being consoled in person makes things feel
a whole lot better..
So don't push her away.. Try sitting down
and talking to her.. I'm sure she'll try
to do everything she can to help you with
this..My mom did.
|
johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 09-12-06 14:40pm
Great advice dc83
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-12-06 18:10pm
I'm always telling her about this stuff,
but all she says is to not care and it's
nothing. That doesn't help me at all. I
really wanna solve this problems instead
of ignoring them. She doesn't understand.
I do know she cares though.
|
dc83
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2006 Posts: 3
Posted: 09-13-06 03:04am
"i'm always telling her about this stuff,
but all she says is to not care and it's
nothing. That doesn't help me at all. I
really wanna solve this problems instead
of ignoring them. She doesn't understand.
I do know she cares though."
reading your response, I get the
impression that the stuff and the problems
you're talking about are external issues..
Such as some of the other students around
you at school..? That are causing you to
feel all these discouraging emotions?..
High-school, possibly?
..If that's the case, i'm not that much
older than you.. So I can honestly tell
you (because it's still so fresh in my
memory) that for half of those 4 years, it
was absolutely torture.. Everyone was out
to trash me, everyone had large groups of
friends but me, everyone was so happy to
be in high school but me.. In every
aspect, it seemed that everyone had it
better than me..
Is this how you feel sometimes?.. Yes?
.. Well, you wanna' know
something?...You're not the only one!
Yes, surprisingly enough, even those kids
that seem like they got it all together go
through some of these similar feelings,
like you.. Like me.. Like everyone else.
So don't feel like you're alone..
Because you're not.
I doubt there's one fool-proof way of
dealing with this, since everyones
situation is different.. But for me, I
think the turning point was when I
realized 'to not care' because 'it's
nothing'... Sound familiar?? Yup..
You're mom could actually be telling you
some very wise words.. Don't let the
negative things around you get to you..You
have to be strong, because, sadly, there
are always going to be negative things
around you in life..Whether it's just a
mean look from a stranger to a disabling
accident (**knock on wood!)..
And although it may seem unfair that other
people don't have to go through the exact
same thing as you, try not to constantly
compare yourself to the people around you,
because everyone is different in their own
way..It'll eventually lead to a unique and
stronger you in the future.
You'll see.. ;)
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-16-06 21:50pm
I know i'm not the only one with no
friends, but what I mean by being alone is
having no friends. Everybpdy needs
friends, so it really is a big deal that
needs to be solved.
I honestly want to solve this as soon as
possible. This is really important to me.
Do you have friends now and are you doing
good in school? Do you think you're a
burden in other people's lives.
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-19-06 20:56pm
It has occured to me once again that I
don't know how worthy I can be in this
world. My sister says i'm stupid because
she thinks i'm taking the wrong class.
She says it's a waste of money (yes, I
need to pay for it) and time, and that I
don't need it to go to post secondary.
Now I don't know if she's right or not,
but honestly I just don't know how to make
the right decisions. I still don't even
know what I wanna do with my life.
I feel so worthless and I pretty much have
nothing. Please help me.
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-20-06 08:20am
Speaking as an old f*rt and probably alot
closer to your parents age then
yours.........................Ie there's
nothing in it for me..............Listen
up to your parents..............In the
long run............They are the ones who
will stand by you....................
Wanna be less of a
"burden".............Clean up your own
cr*p............Ie. Dishes, rinsed,
clothes hung up etc............It don't
get done by itself hun.....
Want friends................Easy, plenty
of people out there that feel the same way
as you.............Prob is, everyones
pretending to be "cool"..... So no one's
being real anymore..............Cut thru
the cr*p and find a real friend.
Sisters or brothers, don't matter, their
yob is to be a pain in the
a**...........Not unlike
parents...........
Don't sweat the whole "ladle"
incident.....................I remember
when I was working in a warehouse, and one
of the guys told me to ask the boss for a
"sky hook" and a "paper
stretcher"................Hooks don't go
in the sky and paper don't
stretch...........................I'll
never live that one down,lol.
If you ain't got no plans for the
future................And from your
previous post.....................Listen
to your dad.................Become a
"machinist"..........At the very least
you'll have a starting point........A
skill......................Not to mention
you'll "shock" the heck outta your dad and
probably succeed in developing a closer
relationship with him. :)
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-20-06 18:53pm
I'm always trying to find real friends.
The only is that I do not know how to be
an interesting friends. No one wants to
hang out with people who are boring. I
mean, like on monday, I got to talk a
little bit to this girl who is in my class
and it seemed like she was interested in
being friends with me. On tuesday, I got
to know her a little more and I was happy
that she was cool to me. Then today, she
got to know this other girl in our class
and it turns out that they have become
friends. It seems like she totally lost
interest in me. She's been doing stuff
for her that she never did to me like
offering to hand in her papers to the
teacher for her. All she said to me was
to ask me if I minded if I slide over for
her new friend. I just don't know how to
be interesting to people. I really tried
to be a fun person, but it seems like I
failed.
Even if sisters and brothers naturally
annoy each other, I should still show a
sense of maturity and be normal. The
things I do are not normal. The things I
do are so disturbing that I don't wanna
share them. I feel like such a kid.
And the stupid things I do really do
matter. Like I said, I might not get very
far in life if i'm not smart in these
situations.
I haven't been close to my dad in years.
I just can't. I do not wanna waste more
years of my life doing things I do not
want.
I really just wanna be happy in life and
be worthy. I don't wanna be a waste of
space, I don't wanna be lonely anymore. I
wanna be a person I can respect myself.
And how can I respect myself when i'm so
emotional. I honestly feel that death is
the only way to fix my problems or the
easy way. I can't kill myself though.
It' just not right.
Please help me.
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-24-06 01:36am
Please help me out.
|
Bobbyjen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 09-25-06 02:32am
If your not interesting why not start by
modeling people you find interesting.
Pick a person and consume every bit of
information about them you can. Hugh
hefner did this when he adopted the "play
boy" image.
|
icareyou
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Sep 2006 Posts: 18
Once Again Think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 09-26-06 06:32am
aspiration
wrote:
please help me
out.
why don’t you try something else to make
you fun? Maybe you need something new:
interesting books, movies, school
activities, sport, new friends girlfriend
or a boyfriend. You can also consult the
trusted psychologist or a trusted adult.
If talking doesn’t help, you may be
suffering from an anxious-depressive
disorder and you may need help from a
mental health professional. But, alcohol
or drugs are definitely not the
cures...They may temporarily make you feel
better but your problems will still be
there when you come down. You can also
seek support here at edit . You are not
alone, and there are many people who feel
like you do. Try to keep your head up
and keep looking for solutions. Asking
for a medical treatment question is a good
beginning to overcome from the depression.
And being that I told you one more thing
that there are lot of medicine that give
you nice support to overcome form the
depression edit and when you are watch
your surrounding then you find there are
lot of people that are fighting to the
depression and they won this betel ask
why? Because they think they can win
they have one ray that we can live, we are
live and we will live so once again invoke
your inner conscious that give you
mentally support and you will win best of
luck
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 10-03-06 21:48pm
Thanks for all the help. I really hope
everything will work out. It's just gonna
be so difficult to tackle and it takes
time. I don't wanna waste more years of
my life. I wanna be able to go to post
secondary and be able to make it.
|
johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 10-04-06 16:27pm
Try joining a cbt group. The exercises
you will learn will help ytou feel better
about yourself and build your self
confidence. It seems to me like you are
being unrealistically too hard on
yourself.
|
Kd121
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 17 Location: Uk
Posted: 10-04-06 19:33pm
Aspiration -
my advice to you is don't be a pushover.
It doesn't matter that you're shy. It
doesn't matter if you don't make
"interesting conversation".
I was the same at school - those thoughts
ran through my head constantly. I was the
really quiet one. People asked me "why
don't you speak?" and I didn't really have
an answer and I was ashamed of it.
I'm the same now except i'm not
embarrassed by my quietness - I actually
cherish it.
Play by your rules sometimes - talk about
what you want to talk about. And don't
force conversation if you don't feel like
speaking. People will respect you for it.
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 10-05-06 01:02am
Oh, I feel what you guys are saying.
But I still feel like a loser for other
reasons. I mean, there's this guy that
was in the same class as me in grade 9.
Back then, he used to make fun of me in
front of everyone in class. Plus he
constantly shouted the first syllable of
my name (short version obviously) in an
annoying low-pitched voice (he might've
been trying to imitate my voice). Even
while he did that, I still tried to be
cool to him and just smiled or try to be
cool, but sometimes I really told him to
shut up. When he told me to sit with and
his friends (who made fun of me as well),
I did that, and I guess everyone in class
thought I was a fool. Luckily, he didn't
go to the same high school as me, even
though I had to deal with bullies those
years (not as much in grade 12). Now,
however, we once again go to the same
school and he still calls my name in that
voice and I still use the same tactics to
deal with it. He does it in front of his
friends when I walk by (i'm alone of
course) and they probably think of me as a
loser with no friends (especially when I
act like i'm not bothered, but they can
probaly see I am). I even tried avoiding
him and I think one of his friends saw me
(i wanted to talk to that girl).
Eventually, he caught me when he was alone
(of course he said my name in that voice
when he saw me), and I took that
opportunity to ask him why he does that
and he told me he thinks it makes me look
cool or whatever (not the exact words, but
you know). I told him that it bothered me
and asked him to stop. He did not stop
because he did it yesterday and today.
Some of you may be thinking I shouldn't
make a big deal out of this, but I guess
you need to be in my position to know how
it's like.
