Very Complicated Situation Posted: 09-11-06 19:40pm
Hello, my name is adrian. I need advice
about this girl, jen. Ive worked with her
from around september of 05 untill this
june. And in that time we saw each other
a lot, became friends. We would flirt all
the time. We both knew we liked each
other more than friends but nothing really
happend because I was really busy and
because of...Well you'll see...
Well around may/june she kinda came out
and let everyone know she was bi-sexual.
And she told me that she had a girlfriend
and that she was on and off with her for
about 2 years. If I would have known that
earlier, I never would have let myself
fall for her. But it was too late, I
think I am in love with her.
I dont know what to do, she always says
she wants to see me, then she stands me
up, then she apologizes. That happend
like 3 times. She always says things
arent going well with her girlfriend, or
they break up for a few days, but then a
day or 2 later they seem to be in love
again.
I hate all of the drama, I wish I could go
back in time and never meet this girl, or
learn earlier that she had a girlfriend,
but I can't. I can't stop thinking about
her, I went on a few dates with other
girls, and i'm always thinking about jen.
Whenever I see a red bmw, I think about
her, whenever I hear here school on the
tv/radio, or whenever I hear her name, I
think about her. I think about her when I
get up in the morning and when i'm trying
to fall asleep. I work at a place that
does a lot of wedding receptions, so
everytime I goto work it makes me sad
because im not with her and I want to be
so badly.
I don't know what to do. I know we love
each other, but i'm sure she loves her
girlfriend too even though she's always
telling me how unhappy they are. I
couldn't imagine myself with any other
girl right now. Should I wait for her?
Or should I just somehow try to move on?
Or any advice on how I might be able to
win her over?
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-12-06 08:16am
Not so
complicated......................It's a
crush plain and simple.............What do
you really know about this person?What do
you love about her?The fact that she may
or may not love you?Not good enough!
She already stood you up
3xs.............Too much and a major flag
as to what is to
come....................She has someone
and whether it's male or female doesn't
matter.................You are interfering
in their happiness.............Back off
and whatever happens after that is
fate..........Don't worry you'll survive
and most likely be better off. :)
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 09-12-06 09:32am
I agree with spirit.She stood you up three
tmies? I highly doubt that is love.Answer
all the questions spirit gave you.You have
to look at this situation as an
outsider.What would you tell your friend
if they were in this situation.You must
put aside what feelings you have and make
a proper decision.I suggest you give it up
and find a new gal!
|
pinksalter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 124
Posted: 09-12-06 18:14pm
This is a tricky situation and although I
agree with what other people are saying I
think this girl is causing a lot of
confusion which is making you even more
upset. She is using you as a crutch when
her relationship goes bad then when
everything is all rosey again you are
ditched to the side. Do u still see her?
If you do maybe you need to be straight
with her, tell her your not happy to be
used like this, ask if shes interested if
not then tell her to quit flirting with
you. Sounds like shes getting her cake
and eating it. She has to make a choice
and that is only if you let her make a
choice, do u really want to be second
best?
I know how hard this muct be as i`m
hurting over someone right now and its not
so easy just to say move on. You may find
it easier if you don`t see her anymore,
out of sight out of mind! Your friends
will be there for you to help you through
it, I know mine have been a god send. I
do believe in fate and as hard as that is
to accept right now it might be the only
way to comfort yourself, if its meant to
be it will be!
If you like her so much tell her what have
you got to lose? She can only say no and
then you know you are free to find someone
who will truly love u.
Good luck xxx
|
ACD1987
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2006 Posts: 6 Location: france
Posted: 09-12-06 19:24pm
spirit
wrote:
not so
complicated......................It's a
crush plain and simple.............What do
you really know about this person?What do
you love about her?The fact that she may
or may not love you?Not good enough!
She already stood you up
3xs.............Too much and a major flag
as to what is to
come....................She has someone
and whether it's male or female doesn't
matter.................You are interfering
in their happiness.............Back off
and whatever happens after that is
fate..........Don't worry you'll survive
and most likely be better off.
:)
i love how much fun we
have whenever were together, how beautiful
she is, how friendly she is to everyone, I
dont know I just like everything about
her. I actually told her that I felt
really bad interfering, and she told me
not to feel that way, and that she doesnt
think her relationship will last.
And no I dont see her much anymore. She
asked me to spend the night at her dorm
for my birthday, that was the last time I
talked to her. But that was one of the
times she stood me up. She didnt really
stand me up, just cancelled, thats what
all 3 were, just cancelations, and she had
decent excuses. But that doesnt matter,
it still sucks. And she knows I really
like her. We both admitted to each other
that we had crushes on each other since we
met.
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-13-06 08:16am
There's quite a few people like
that.............Fun loving,
gregarious........Always have a smile for
everyone..............But are they
reliable?Non-flakey?...........Usually
not! She stood you up, or as you say had
a "decent excuse" for your
birthday....................Hello?!.......
....Birthdays are a major turning point or
an emotional time for people especially if
your younger.......................If it
were me, and you promised to meet me on my
birthday and then you didn't, you better
have a .Great excuse..........Like your
hairs on fire!!!!
But if your still
determined....................Call her!,
apparently her "crush" is not as strong as
your "crush"...................Why wait?
Theres nothing worse than
wondering........................What if?
:)
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 279 Location: Japan
Posted: 09-14-06 03:47am
My guess is you come second to her
girlfriend. I am also guessing that you
are being played dude. You are going to
have to cut the line, and do it soon. She
is wasting your time, and you are letting
it happen.
You have just as much fun with another
girl. You need to get rid of this one,
and open your eyes and see who else might
be giving you the wink and nod.
Be strong, you will be happier sooner.
|
ACD1987
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2006 Posts: 6 Location: france
Posted: 09-16-06 23:03pm
Im trying to just forget about her, I
never call her anymore. Im going out with
friends and other girls all the time.
Then all I think about the whole time is
how I wish I was with jen instead of the
girl im with. How do I stop thinking
about her??? I hate it. Should I give
her some sort of ultimatum? Or wait for
the next time she breaks up with her
girlfriend and do a sneak attack before
they get back together? Haha
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 279 Location: Japan
Posted: 09-17-06 07:16am
I would say stop wasting your time and
follow our adivce.
But I am starting to think you want to
hear these words; go for it dude. You
should take what is yours. Break up a
couple because you like the girl. Yes she
likes you, she is just making your work
for it. She is just testing you to see
how far or how long she can drag you
along. Keep up the good work dude, she is
soon going to see how good of a guy you
are, and she is going to wanna rock your
world.
Now, how does any of what I said above
sound likely to happen between you and
this girl. My guess is non, but if you
want to keep trying then do so. In the
end you will realize you have wasted your
time, and the advice that you asked for
and people here have taken time to give
you will be right.
Your choice. Be strong and make the
break, or be foolish and waste you time.
In the end you are only going to have to
follow our advice anyways. The thing for
you is it now, or later on after much
stress and hassel?
|
ACD1987
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2006 Posts: 6 Location: france
Posted: 09-22-06 22:27pm
They broke up for good now. I told her
that I was there for her and stuff, and to
call me if she ever just needed someone to
talk to. I dont wanna move in too fast
and seem like a vulture, lol. But I dont
wanna wait too long and miss my chance.
So how long should I wait? Where do I go
from here? Any other advice?
