Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 6230
Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
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What Am I Going to Do?
Posted: 09-05-06 14:31pm
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I don't want to be around layla and logan.
I told my usbandto take them to his mums
house. I don't want to see them at all as
they remind me of what I have lost.
This is so bad. I can't believe I am
feeling like this. My milk is in and my
boobs are full and sore. The midwife gave
me a tablet to take the milk away but so
far it hasn't worked.
So i'm all alone in the house to mull over
things. My belly is going down every day
and soon there will be no evidence to
strangers that my beautiful daughter ever
existed. All I have are a couple of
photos and some footprint- not good
enough!!!!!!!
I want to hold her and feel her soft skin.
I want to change her nappy and feed her.
I don't want to bury my daughter. It
should be me instead. I would rather die
if it meant I could bring her back.
Its so bad but seeing layla and logan will
remind me of the baby I lost and I don't
think I can handle that. I don't know
what to do. Please help
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natzcee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 288
Location: glasgow
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Posted: 09-05-06 14:41pm
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Oh huni im so sorry your feeling this way,
I duno what to say :( I feel so sad for
you :(! I know it must b hard to b around
young children but uve gota try and think
possitive I know it is very very hard but
altho it hurts uv gota try and spend time
with your other children just think god
has blessed you with them and your lucky
to have them think of some people who cant
have children atall, your very lucky in
that way, sorry im realy not good with
words atall this may sound nasty im sorry
if it does :( just b brave huni your
little girl was just too good for this
world!
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Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 1568
Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 98
Thanked:169
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Hey Sweetie
Posted: 09-05-06 14:45pm
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Beck, I too am so very sorry for your
loss. It broke my heart to read your
post, especially the part about layla and
logan. They need their
mother............They will feel your
emotions and as young as they are not
understand, but, they will know you are
sad. I understand you sending them to
stay a day or two with family, but you
will find isolation only makes depression
worse. I feel it would make things a lot
better for you tostay busy and show layla
and logan as much love and attention that
you can muster up. They didn't ask for
this to happen either. You have a
beautiful family. I wrote to you earlier
and told you this after seeing photos. I
am not saying to forget, but you have to
focus on what you have now. Love these
babies layla & logan) and your
wonderful hubby as if today were your
last. You are young and beautiful and one
day can add again to your family. Stay
strong girlfriend... I ask god to help
your through this!
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ThriftyGal
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 2982
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: 09-05-06 14:48pm
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Maybe do something in her memory, like get
her little footprints tattooed on you or
something. Or make a scrap book of poems
and stuff for her...
It won't take any hurt away but it will
honour her and take up some time.
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Sophie585
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 141
Location: Canada
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Posted: 09-05-06 22:09pm
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I'm so sorry for your loss hun... And I
know nothing anyone says will help lessen
your sadness, but try to remember you have
two beautiful children and a husband that
love you with all their hearts. I can
see why being around them would be hard,
but you shouldn't isolate yourself from
them either. As much as it hurts, don't
let yourself get in a rut, and don't let
yourself get down so low you can't get up.
You have suffered a terrible loss, but
the last thing your baby girl would ever
want would be for you to lose touch with
your other children and isolate them from
your life.
Although you may not have a lot of
physical things to remind you of angel,
you will always have the memory of her in
your heart, and thats one thing you'll
have forever.
I know it hurts, but don't ever forget
that you have people in your life that
love you and will be there for you no
matter what.
I'm praying for you hun.
<3 sophie
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Cha-Cha
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 151
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Posted: 09-05-06 22:57pm
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Im so sorry beckster06. God bless you and
your husband!!!! I dont know if this
would be a good idea for you ,but maybe
you can talk to someone to help you
through this. Im so so so so so sorry.
Im thinking of you and your family *
xoxo
rachel
feel better
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Jules
Supporter
Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3840
Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 91
Thanked:77
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Posted: 09-06-06 02:30am
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Hello lovey, i'm so sorry for what you are
going through. I can only imagine how
painful it is for you; i've been thinking
of you lots since I read that your little
.Angel passed away.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to go and
see your doctor, s/he could refer you a
group local to you where you could go and
talk with other people who have gone
through the same thing. I think that
might really help you; the worst thing is
to feel that you are alone. You mustn't
feel guilty for feeling how you do - it's
all part of the normal grieving process.
I think .Tanyaface's idea of a tattoo or
book to memorialise your daughter is a
really good idea. Perhaps plant a little
tree in your garden or go somewhere
beautiful and release a balloon in memory
of her? These are things I have known
other people do and they found it helped
them feel some kind of peace.
Remember, .Angel doesn't want her mummy to
be sad, she knows you miss her so much and
she is with you in spirit, and always will
be.
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brain_dead_goldfish
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 09-06-06 03:11am
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Oh honey, I can't even begin to imagine
what you must be going through. It broke
my heart reading your message, and your
husband's. I'm really sorry for your
loss. I know it's hard, but you have to
try to be around the kids. Remember that
they're feeling it too.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 6594
Location: Planet Tampaxia,
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Posted: 09-06-06 04:05am
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Geez this is so hard for me.
I'm almost 2 years since losing .Oliver at
almost 20 weeks.
I still feel the pain.
While I know you will feel it differently
to me, please know I can understand your
pain.
Becks, if you want someone to vent at,
someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on,
holla at me.
I'll pm you my email addy.
Do the docs know why you went into
premature labour?
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 6230
Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
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Posted: 09-06-06 04:17am
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No idea. My blood pressure was normal.
I'd had no bleeding or pain or anything I
just suddenly started contracting. I felt
her move earlier on in the day so I can't
understand it myself. They are doing a
postmortem purely because of the confusing
circumstances but I haven't heard anything
back yet. I can't have the funeral until
then
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