Tough to say, he might just be worried about contracting stds if he thinks you have other partners, then again, he might be jealous, but unwilling to admit or commit.


I would be thinking about myself if I were you - by not "not using protection", i'm assuming you aren't using a condom, but you are using a spermicide or something, no? If not, you should, vaginal suppositories are unobtrusive, and can be inserted some time before intercourse, and there are other methods.


Personally, I recommend using a condom, you can't be sure he isn't sleeping around either - there is a female condom available, but you might have to look around for a while to find one.


I'd get this straightened out with him, it doesn't sound to me like he's being totally honest, either with himself, or with you or both - you're both young it sounds like, and jealousy isn't unusual, even in a casual relationship - you need to figure out what's going on in his head, becasue if you meet somebody else, I predict drama.

It almost sounds like he's trying to get you pregnent, and in any case, males are "programmed" in the evolutionary sense, to assure themselves of paternity - expressed as the behavioral trait, jealousy, which is operant even if he's not trying to get you pregnent (biology and cognition operate on two very different levels).


Women tend to get jealous over resources, and don't want a potential mate spreading himself too thin in terms of social-reproductive-sexual commitments - again, expressed as jealousy.


So, in a sense, his behavior is normal, biologically speaking, but questionable from a social standpoint - he can't have it both ways unless you let him, and it's going to be up to you, it sounds like, to finesse the situation and come to some sort of understanding - jealousy can raise testosterone levels in males, and lead to more gonadal behavioral patterns.


He might also be worried about you - if you're going to have unprotected sex with him, it's not much of a jump to imagine you might do the same with somebody else, thereby exposing him to increased risk. If he really just want's a casual relationship, he should just use a condom instead of forming what sounds like some unhealthy obsessions.


Personally, i'd be looking for somebody a little less possessive if you're just looking for somebody to help you out now and then, somebody who isn't averse to taking reasonable precautions - or at least threaten to - it's the times we live in i'm afraid.

And it is a good idea to limit your sexual contacts to people you know and are comfortable with, but it can get complicated if there isn't an upfront understanding of what the parameters are.

Great advice! You've actually hit the nail on the head with alot of your statements and I haven't even gone into full detail about our situation.. But, thank you.. Your advice is dead on.

He does seem to be very possessive. We do have a little bit of history. We went to highschool together and he's always had a really big crush on me, but it was very innocent back then, and he switched schools and we lost contact.. Only recently did we coincidently run into eachother again. I can recall a particular situation where.. I was at his house on a late night, and he went to go shower.. So, I decided to call one of my (female) friends. When he came into the room.. I did not want to be rudes, being that I was just on the phone to keep me preoccupied while he was gone, so I told her that i'd call her back. Immediately he went into this rant .. '' why are you getting off of the phone now that I come into the room? What do you have to hide? Well, it's fine because i'm doing my dirt to... I have a girlfriend.. ''.. He randomly came out and told me that he had some girlfriend and then proceeded to show me a picture of his ex.. Which was totally uncalled for and really devistating. Immediately, I told him to take me home.. And that it would be best for us to loose contact, and he lost it. He was almost into tears questioning me.. '' why?? What did I do to you? Why is your mood changing so quickly?? ''. I wouldn't answer any of his questions and he took me home. He would not let me get out of the car until I gave him an answer as to '' whats wrong? '' ( as if it weren't apparent ). I looked at him and said '' you have a girlfriend.......... You didn't tell me that ''.. He put his face in his hands.. And I got out of the car while he was yelling '' no, no, wait.. Come back ''.. And just went into my house to ignore his calls and texts for the next two weeks. He was very persistant.. So, eventually I gave in.. But, in my heart.. I think he was lying about the girlfriend because he wanted a reaction out of me.. And the whole ' me being on the phone ' situation seemed to have ticked him off. The next time we saw eachother after this particular fall out.. He questioned me the whole time about '' if I was serious. If I was really going to let him go. ''.. And made a comment that I fould somewhat bothersome... '' well, please don't do that again.. Because i'm not going anywhere ''. Are these early signs of someone being too possessive?? Should I be worried?? He says he dosen't want a relationship so just how possesive is he, really? I'm confused. This is my first sexual partner ( i'm 19.. Almost 20 years old.. And have been sexual but, not with anyone but myself per se'.. So, my hymen was broken a long time ago and i'm very knowledgeable about sex.. Just haven't done it until now.. And I never told him that he is my first actual (male) sex partner). I'm still confused as to if I should keep him around just for my enjoyment and sexual gratification.. Or if that's unrealistic???


Also, I thought i'd mention.. I skipped two of my birthcontrol pills which is causing alot of spotting and I don't feel comfortable having sex, so I told him that I was on my period and I do not want to have sex. He has not called me in 5 days. Is he trying to send some sort of message?? I'm confused. Thanks.

Sounds like this guy doesn't exactly know what he wants.If I were you I would drop him and find someone else who wont mes with your head. He sounds a bit insecure too. . .

I agree with the other posters, it sounds like he has some problems! Anyone that told me that he did not want me for anything but sex but he can do anything and anyone, I would have no use for as it is too dangerous out there as it is. I hope you make the right decisions!

Good luck!

A casual sex partner is somthing you have when you either can't find a serious commited relationship, or don't want one for whatever reason - and it should be low stress. This sounds more complicated than some marriages - it seems that he is involved emotionally while you are not - he needs to get a grip, and if I were you i'd put my personal safety first.

I would just lay it out for him: either use a condom and lighten up, or forget it - it was his choice when he specified a casual sexual relationship.


Suppose you meet somebody you do want to become more emotionally involved with? You don't need to be in a complicated situation if you do, it's not fair to you or them, and this guy is just playing games with you - you make the right choice for yourself, and let him deal with it.

He doesn't want to keep all his eggs in one basket. He's controlling and manipulative. He plays games.

Is this the kind of guy you want to be with? I'm sure you could find even a casual sex partner with less contoll issues than this guy.

There are more fish in the sea, let this one go and don't take his calls!!!

Kick his butt out the door!

Hun you can do so much better, I had relationships consisiting of sex with no strings attached and I loved it but if ever a guy held me down well then there is issues.

Like everyone is saying the world isnt only made of one fish and different guys can be a learning expierence without overdoing it mind you!

Thanks everyone for the great advice!! I really appreciate it. I've been thinking over the past couple of days and i'm really leaning towards letting him go. He was calling me every single day.. And all of the sudden the calls just stopped, and it's been 10 days since he's called. Apparently, he's waiting on me to call him.. But, I don't think I will. This is another example of him '' playing games '' and I totally agree with you guys.

Yeah he broke the rules. It is suppose to be casual sex. He is not suppose to act the way he is. He is not suppose to keep tabs on you.

By the way, when you say keep your options open, you mean to be able to look for new partners. Which is okay, but if he does not want a relationship, but is keeping tabs on you to make sure you do not have one with another person then he is breaking the rules.

Lastly, never trust a sex friend. Use a condom. You are having sex with a person you have no comittment with. You can not trust a thing they say. Wear a condom.

Thats really hard to say..When it comes to "friends with benefits", it's mainly just sex. Im not saying he won't get feelings for you but that rarely happens..He is most likely worried about contracting an std. If I were you I would use protection....Your not in a steady relationship with him. Protect yourself