There is a medical difference between desire and ability to perform sexual intercourse. In other words, it is best to distinguish first if a man DOESN’T WANT sexual relations with women or CAN’T have sex with women. If a man desires but can’t have sex with a woman, then he might be experiencing erectile dysfunction. Viagra might help here. But if a man doesn’t want to have sex with women then it can be expected that he won’t be able to perform sex with women. In that case, he might be experiencing a lack of any sexual desire (frigidity) or he has sexual interest other than women – for example: men (homosexuality). According to your description (husband having no interest/ability to have sex with you, enjoying and masturbating during gay-porn, avoiding any discussion with you about it), it seems that your husband has some kind of sexual dysfunction that can be defined only by a psychiatrist. You can try to convince him to go together with you to a psychiatrist or another mental health professional to address the issue. Homosexuality is not considered a sexual dysfunction (according to WHO-definitions, World Health Organization) but it doesn’t seem likely you will accept such a husband.