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Q: Is my husband gay? No sex for 5 years...
asked by: DoctorQuestion on September 3rd, 2006
Doctor Question
My husband suffers from ED. He has tried viagra but he goes in and out of being hard. What does that mean? I know he watchs a lot of porn, tells me he doesn't but i know he does. He always watches guys getting blow jobs? Is that normal or does he preffer to watch that you think because he can relate to that more then having intercourse with a women? Is it true, that him watching porn kinda makes our situation worse. I know it feels crappy to me when he goes to that and not me. Please help! I try talking to him but get no where! I need to know if I am wasting my time with him. It has be almost five years dealing with this and he never even trys to have sex with me, he goes to the blow jobs and masturbates to that. I am seriously woundering if he is gay!
Lady12


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DoctorAnswer replied on September 11th, 2006
Doctor Answer
Sexual Health - Men Answer A1462
There is a medical difference between desire and ability to perform sexual intercourse. In other words, it is best to distinguish first if a man DOESN’T WANT sexual relations with women or CAN’T have sex with women. If a man desires but can’t have sex with a woman, then he might be experiencing erectile dysfunction. Viagra might help here. But if a man doesn’t want to have sex with women then it can be expected that he won’t be able to perform sex with women. In that case, he might be experiencing a lack of any sexual desire (frigidity) or he has sexual interest other than women – for example: men (homosexuality). According to your description (husband having no interest/ability to have sex with you, enjoying and masturbating during gay-porn, avoiding any discussion with you about it), it seems that your husband has some kind of sexual dysfunction that can be defined only by a psychiatrist. You can try to convince him to go together with you to a psychiatrist or another mental health professional to address the issue. Homosexuality is not considered a sexual dysfunction (according to WHO-definitions, World Health Organization) but it doesn’t seem likely you will accept such a husband.


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