Depression Forum - Depressed & Not Sure What to Do

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Q: Depressed & Not Sure What to Do

asked by: terimau on September 2nd, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Hi everyone. This is my first post & my first logon. I am & have been depressed for some time but I don't know what to do. I recently moved from the east coast to the west coast & I have no friends here. The closest family I have is 3 hours away. That being said, i've been depressed before my move here & it's gotten worse. I feel so isolated. I felt that way before I left because my boyfriend of 5 months dumped me, both my brothers and their families were too busy to see me, my so called "friends" never called, emailed, stopped by, etc. It was always up to me to do anything. Normally I am a very out-going person and the life of the party. About a year ago I had an accident that left me on my back "literally" because I broke my back. However, I am since healed and okay. Yet noone came around then and still hasn't. I can't help to wonder if it's me, yet it angers me off that I was always there for everyone else and in my darkest hour, everyone abandoned me. What the heck?!! Since then I have been very depressed and almost suicidal. No, I don't think I will ever have the courage to 'do it', yet I am always sad. If it wasn't for me calling and/or emailing my so-called friends and family, then I wouldn't hear from them. What the hell is up with that??!! And how can someone feel good about their behaviour leaving someone they supposedly cared about in the dark?? I would never have done that to someone...Ever!! Yet, these same people I was always there for, let me down. How can I bounce back? Should I be on some meds to help me? I just don't know what to do anymore. I just need someone...Anyone...To talk to.

Thanks so much. T

Replies(5)

Mabel replied on September 2nd, 2006

Supporter

Re: Depressed & Not Sure What to Do

terimau wrote:

hi everyone. This is my first post & my first logon. I am & have been depressed for some time but I don't know what to do. I recently moved from the east coast to the west coast & I have no friends here. The closest family I have is 3 hours away. That being said, i've been depressed before my move here & it's gotten worse. I feel so isolated. I felt that way before I left because my boyfriend of 5 months dumped me, both my brothers and their families were too busy to see me, my so called "friends" never called, emailed, stopped by, etc. It was always up to me to do anything. Normally I am a very out-going person and the life of the party. About a year ago I had an accident that left me on my back "literally" because I broke my back. However, I am since healed and okay. Yet noone came around then and still hasn't. I can't help to wonder if it's me, yet it angers me off that I was always there for everyone else and in my darkest hour, everyone abandoned me. What the heck?!! Since then I have been very depressed and almost suicidal. No, I don't think I will ever have the courage to 'do it', yet I am always sad. If it wasn't for me calling and/or emailing my so-called friends and family, then I wouldn't hear from them. What the hell is up with that??!! And how can someone feel good about their behaviour leaving someone they supposedly cared about in the dark?? I would never have done that to someone...Ever!! Yet, these same people I was always there for, let me down. How can I bounce back? Should I be on some meds to help me? I just don't know what to do anymore. I just need someone...Anyone...To talk to.

Thanks so much. T

medication can help with the depression. Counseling can also be a great addition to medication! Sometimes you just have to move on with life and leave the past in the past. If they don't contact you, and your contact with them isn't helping you, don't contact them. Go out. Find new friends. Find new life experiences. It isn't easy (trust me, I know) but once you are involved in other life things (hanging out with new friends, etc), you will feel so much better.

Are you working? Are you dating? Are you involved in any clubs or organizations? Why did you move to the other coast and yet still so far away from other family?

Going through a sever injury and being laid up for a long time is very difficult in itself! That can cause depression too. As can a major life change of losing a boyfriend! And the move is a major (major!) life change. You have a lot going on. Maybe you should see a doctor and get some medication to help you cope?

terimau replied on September 2nd, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Thank you, ingi for your reply. Yes, I have thought of therapy and perhaps drugs to help. I am currently seeking employment and don't have insurance so I don't have the financial means to go to a doctor at this time. I've had a lot of transition in my life this last year from the death of my father, to my accident that broke my back, to the loss of my job, to a new location here in ca from va and a loss of many friends & my boyfriend. Let's just say that life has dealt me a 'good deal' lately and i've had trouble dealing with it. It's hard because I don't know anyone here and I don't have anyone I can confide in, thus my entries here on ehealth. Nothing seems to keep my attention these days so my hobbies are pretty much out the window right now. My birthday is tomorrow and as stupid as this sounds, I checked the mail and email and found nothing was in there from family and friends...Thus my feelings of abandonment and depression (even more than usual). I guess I feel like after all the times i've been there to call people, email them, and/or stop by just to let them know i'm here and then to have absolutely no contact from my so-called friends and family really hurts. I just feel like people have become more and more the 'me-me' society.

Mabel replied on September 2nd, 2006

Supporter

Re: Hi

terimau wrote:

thank you, ingi for your reply. Yes, I have thought of therapy and perhaps drugs to help. I am currently seeking employment and don't have insurance so I don't have the financial means to go to a doctor at this time. I've had a lot of transition in my life this last year from the death of my father, to my accident that broke my back, to the loss of my job, to a new location here in ca from va and a loss of many friends & my boyfriend. Let's just say that life has dealt me a 'good deal' lately and i've had trouble dealing with it. It's hard because I don't know anyone here and I don't have anyone I can confide in, thus my entries here on ehealth. Nothing seems to keep my attention these days so my hobbies are pretty much out the window right now. My birthday is tomorrow and as stupid as this sounds, I checked the mail and email and found nothing was in there from family and friends...Thus my feelings of abandonment and depression (even more than usual). I guess I feel like after all the times i've been there to call people, email them, and/or stop by just to let them know i'm here and then to have absolutely no contact from my so-called friends and family really hurts. I just feel like people have become more and more the 'me-me' society.

i know this is going to sound really hokey and all 'earthy' - but go out and walk. Walk every single day for at least 1/2 hour to an hour. Don't count job searching or anything like that. Just walk and let your mind go. Walking does wonders for depression. Don't skip a walk. Just walk. It is free and excellent therapy. Try to find a walking path, or a jogging path, a recreation area or something like that near you. You'll see people. You'll get exercise and exercise gives off endorphins. Endorphins being the natural anti-depressants your body gives off. ;)

happy birthday tomorrow! And, as much as it sucks that you don't think anyone is thinking of you, rest assured that you are important! You are thought of on your birthday and you should definitely do something special for yourself on your special day!!!!

terimau replied on September 2nd, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Re: 'depressed & Not Sure What to Do'

Thanks, inga. Man, I feel like i've been so alone so it really helps just having someone to vent/talk to...Thank you. :)

to answer you...Yes, I just started walking about a week ago. I have a 14-year-old son who rollerblades as I walk. It is very relaxing. Yet it doesn't completely get rid of my sleepless nights. Everything comes flooding my brain at night and I can't sleep. I either wake up in the night or wake up like 3/4 am and can't get back to sleep. It sucks! I even tried one of those tylenol p.M deals and it was absolutely horrible b/c I couldn't get to sleep and then when I did it was all nightmares. I'm trying...I promise...I am. I don't want to sound all doom and gloom but I have tried a variety of things before I reached out via forum like this. I'm just at my wits end is all. I guess you're right though...It's time for the professional. Maybe a good head shrink with some mind altering drugs is the answer now. I don't know. But I do know just having some one to talk to is good. I haven't had that for a while. Thank you.

Mabel replied on September 2nd, 2006

Supporter

You know, you probably qualify for medicaid (since you are currently unemployed and have a child at home) and, while I know the state has cr@p for mental health specialists (they must get the drop outs or something), you could still get some anti-depressants. Which will be better than nothing at this point.

Tomorrow, bake a cake! Put candles on it! Sing happy birthday. Feast on cake and ice cream! Enjoy your special day being you!! ;)

sometimes, and again this sounds really hokey, a journal can help. There are a billion online places you can journal so you don't feel all alone. Just search for "blogging" or something. Myspace is a good way to 'meet' people to chat with - as are various other places.

Not that any of this fixes your problem, I understand - but it might make you feel less lonely for awhile.

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