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Why Is Sex So Important to a Man In a Realitionship?!

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Why does he want it so much that if it doesnt happen theres something wrong with me! He also said it could get in the way of a marriage plan...Dont know what to do!!!!Please addivce!!!Freindly! Thank you...

I am very concerned that this might destory our realitionship. We have been together for almost a year now and I have known him for 3 years. In the first about six months we were very intament with one another...Exsample: we would make love 6 days in a week and sometimes more then once a day. Now: once maybe twice a week.

He feels that I dont love him as much and that this is a proplem and that I must be depressed or ill... Hes been resreach on female sex drive and then asking me alot of questions... I try to tell him i'm just not in the mood.

I dont think I can fix this! I dont want him to leave me I love him but I have just let him do his thing, but theres little pleasure on those days. I dont know what to tell him...

Sometimes I wish I didnt care...

Why is this so important to him?!
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Users who thank Amber*Angel for this post: Frogger 

replied September 3rd, 2006
Experienced User
We all have different levels of libido - both men and women with high libido's may need to have sex more often just in order not be thinking about all the time - it sort of starts crowding out other thoughts.

Men and women tend to have different priorities, reflecting evolutionary developments - men have generally evolved to spread as much semen as possible - i.E., men who have sex a lot tend to have more offspring that they passed this trait onto, while women more typically seek resources to increase the probability of raising reproductively successful offspring - i.E., quality over quantity.

I wouldn't feel too bad about helping him out if the relationship is important to you, sacrifices have to be made in any relationship, unless it's actually causing you physical discomfort or damage - try fantasizing, or porn to see if you can gear your libido up, there are worse problems in life than having sex too often.

At the same time, communication is probobly the single most important factor in a successful relationship, I think frequency of intercourse would have to take second place there, so if you are fearing for the stability of your relationship, it's the communication factor i'd be looking at.

My ex and i, for example, were well matched libido wise: we both liked it at least once a day, although she often wanted at times inconvenient to me, when I was in the middle of something else, but we didn't communicate well (or at all) in other areas, which eventually spilled over into the sexual department, and that (communication, or lack thereof, not sex, although it was a factor) is what eventually tanked the relationship.
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replied October 6th, 2008
I feel the same way..
I am five months pregnant right now but he like comes home from work and touches me telling me he loves me and telling me how he thought about me all day and what he wants to do to me, which is hot and kinky but then when it comes down to it he can go forever it seems and im just like baby please... and I acctually will feel bad if i cant please my man so ofcourse I give in cause he is used to the first months we were together that we would make love in the morning night sometimes wake up at 4 in the morning wanting to be close and we were like always drawn into each other sexually then and like if he would move at night I would grab him and attack him which then he liked and he just asked me the other day why I dont attack him anymore.. a question I do not know myself... but I just feel wierd cause if he gets turned on by me all the sudden he will kiss me and my neck and it turns me on but then the baby will kick and I lose everything not meaning to though lol =) so If I was you try and find a new position or look up kinky toys.. or find out something that he never done or heard about and do it to him, cause if you switch it on him and want it all the time then he wont.. that is what I found out, maybe accasionally but you know if you say I love you alot they soon wait for you to say it and wont say it first.. its kinda like that, always grab him and touch him alot and he will soon feel like he gets alot of attention and not craving any more..
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replied October 6th, 2008
Experienced User
hahahahaha...this is a funny subject. i think that if a guy gets too much sex he doesn't appreciate it and doesn't pursue it. i'm all for giving him some, but i am not going to give him all he wants, for 3 reasons: 1) if he gets all he wants, then i end up being disrespected; 2) the more he gets it, the less he is focused on making ME happy; and 3) honestly, i don't like doing it more than 2 or 3 times a week. i really enjoy it about that much but beyond that it's just a contest to see how many times "he" can get it from me and i'm not participating in that.

y'all tell me if i'm wrong. i don't "withhold" sex from him, but i'm not just going to give it up any time he wants either...i love him and am readily available to him as long as it's a 2-way street and he's willing to put all the energy forth to make sure we BOTH have a good time.

ladies, it is your body and you do have a choice. chances are you're not going to keep having sex 8x a week for a long period of time. if you are, you like it a lot more than i do!

jasmine
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replied October 9th, 2008
Supporter
Jasmine, we need more girls like you!!

Way to stand up for your principles!!

-Peter
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replied October 10th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Sex is an important part of a relationship but it should never be forced!!!!!
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replied May 11th, 2012
Please read.
I can't believe why modern women view sex as simply a physical act that a man wants to boost his ego. Most women nowadays, as I observe, seem to view sex as a weapon to keep their husband/boyfriend in check. But however if a man was to use a woman's weakness against her in a similar fashion, he would be thought of as a jerk. Sex for us guys isn't just a thing to do to boost our ego. It's a genuine act of desire, love and passion. Consider if your boyfriend were to flirt with other women in front of you. How would you feel? Rejected? undesirable? Ordinary? That's what we feel when you say no to sex. Your reason may be completely different but what we understand may not be what you want to say.
Read this article, you may understand a bit more.

http://www.marriagemissions.com/to-wives-w hy-is-sex-so-important/

Don't dismiss sex as just another chore in a days work. A wife/girlfriend has some duties towards her husband/boyfriend. As he has duties towards them. There must always be a mutual respect and honour for each other's strengths at the same time we must safeguard each other from our weaknesses. That is a marriage. That is love. All men want behind our ego and boy toys and masculinity is a place where we don't have to pretend to be invincible. Where we don't have to pretend that we can move mountains. That place for us is in the arms of a woman we love. You may think that this is all fairytale, but it isn't. Its reality. Most men have sex with random women and through out their lives hop for woman to woman, but they'll still feel empty inside. When they look into the mirror they won't recognize themselves. Sometimes a man may cheat just because they are trying to get what the wife no longer wishes to provide. Much like a woman who is married to a man who is married to his job. Men and women arn't much differed but still we are worlds apart. Give him what he wants but only if you can provide it the way he needs. He doesn't want to make love to your body he wants to make love to you.
His increase in demand is just his way of wanting to achieve it the correct way. It's his weakness protect it. It's what he need, respect it. That's all he asks. Love him emotionally more then physically, show him that you desire him unconditionally, pull him towards you and his demand will reduce considerably. Love is to honour who he is, perform duties that someone must be responsible for, to embrace him in passion, to respect him despite his weaknesses. If he performs all these too, then he loves you back.
The only disadvantage with modern thinking is that we have become selfish even to the people we swear our lives to. It is important to know your rights but it's just as important to know your duties.

I hope you understand that to be in a relationship both must be happy. I bear you fair winds.
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replied May 15th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy (online)
A lot of men (but not all men) are driven by their body chemistry to need sex and consequently it is as important to them as food - more important in some cases!

Not being able to lose those few cc's of fluid can have far-reaching results - uncomunicative moroseness is not sour grapes at not getting sex but is part of a true manifestation of the condition...

At any particular time a man has a natural frequency when he needs emptying. The similarity with lactating mothers is striking - as long as there is a demand for milk there will be a supply. If the demand is removed the supply will stop - but only after a very uncomfortable or even painful time-lag!

If many men aren't emptied when their bodies request it can quickly result in tenderness in the testicles building up until they feel several times their usual size even though there is little or no visible change. Shortly after this there is a psychological change and women who he wouldn't normally give a second glance to will appear increasingly attractive...
This is followed by an increase in skin sensitivity where he can actually feel his clothes and can become very irritable. Often a slight headache follows along with moroseness...

The process is similar to that experienced by women approaching menstruation - an overdose of the body's own chemicals can cause minor personality changes in some and radical personality changes in others and negligible effects in many...

Men are pre-programmed by nature to spread their seed and while many can smile happily at being turned down it is a personal disaster for some for whom sex is as necessary to stable thought and comfort as regular meals are to survival...

If a dog isn't fed at home don't be surprised if it eats elsewhere!
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