Yeah of course you can its your body and your baby tell her straight u want to keep the baby she cant force u to have an abortion huni! Just stand up to her im sure she will support you no matter what you choose to do shes your mum xxx

Nobody can "make" you do anything.

If you don't want to do it, you don't do it. If the consequence is that your parents disown you, then so be it.

Sarah

Im sure she will understand if you explain why u wanna keep the baby, dont worry huni xx

she most definetly cannot make you! Its your body so its your decision.She will probably threaten you with being kicked out but do you honestly think your mom would do that to her own daughter? I doubt it.And if she does then there are shelters or womens homes you can go to.Hold strong and keep us updated!

You don't have to have an abortion just because your mom wants you to. If you tell the people at the clinic that you don't want that, then they won't do it. You decide what to do with your body. I've talked to many girls who've gone through abortions and most regret it terribly and say it was a horrible experience. If this is something you don't want done, it's only going to make you resent your mom and damage your self-esteem. I'm sure your mom is really shocked and hurt right now but like most moms, she will come to terms with you being pregnant. Please do what you feel is right.

If you are asked at the doctor's office or at the clinic, tell them that you are not there of your own free choice. Legally, they cannot perform an abortion on an unwilling woman, even if she is a minor. Your parents do not own your body, you do, and as such, you decide what is to be done to your body.

Also, if there is a pregnancy crisis center in your area, i'm sure they'd love to help you out in this situation. Most pcc's are prolife organizations or are attached through funding to prolife organizations and religions. They will have the resources available (hopefully) to find you a place to stay, etc, if it should come to that.

Also, if you're 16, you should talk to your school counselor. Your counselor may be able to help you and your mother come to certain agreements.

You might also want to think about getting yourself emancipated from your parents. But, if you do, you should know that they will not be legally required to support you any longer. However, if you don't, they could be able through your state's minor adoption laws to give the child up for an adoption without your consent. If you are a minor and still depend upon your parents for your support, any child you have will also be dependent upon them (at least at first). Because of this, some states have old laws on the books that would allow a loop hole for your parents to put your child up for adoption.

No matter what, do .N.O.T run away from home. That would make you a delinquent and you would have less hope of keeping your pregnancy and your child. Minors in the foster system are not allowed to keep their children after birth. After birth, both are placed into the foster and adoption systems separately and you have little rights to the child after that.

Best of luck and keep us posted on what's going on.
Peace,
jenn

Good advice ladies!!

Sarah

Let the people at the clinic know that you do not want the abortion by law they cannot force you no matter what your mom wants. If your mom says she'll kick you out tell her you'll report her for child neglect :d and don't forget there are plenty of teenage pregnancy help centers for these circumstances that can help you with a place to stay, healthcare, and parenting education. Aug 5 I gave birth to my 3rd child a week latter I turned 20 don't let anyone tell you your unfit to be a mother its untrue just think 100 years ago 14-16 is when women were married and began to have children. Remember your not the first to do this and it really isn't all that difficult its just non stop :wink: here's a few things to keep in mind
babies cry alot but its ok (the harder and longer they cry the harder and longer they'll sleep), breast is best it hurts a first but bite the bullet and soon it will be gone and u'll never have to wake up and make a bottle ull just have to scoop up ur baby and pop the boob out. When they're older you can just haul em into bed, present the boob, snuggle up and go to sleep they'll do all the work its great. Always focus on the good of it all and take lots of pictures nothing will make you happier then seeing your little one smile, or cralling across the floor to you, or hiding behind the couch in hopes you wont change his diaper, or teaching them to sound out words it's a wonderful wonderful expereances and a lotta work but nothing is more worth it if you would like to ask someone whos been there.

As others have said, no one can make you do anything. I'm sure your mother can try to, but in the end it'll still be your body and your choice. I'm sure, though, she isn't pushing you to abort just to be mean - she merely does not want you to ruin your life at such a young age. This doesn't justify trying to force someone into doing something, but I can kind of understand where she's coming from. In any case, it would be best for you to find someone to confide in, be it a school counselor, a relative, or a doctor.

Before everyone jumps....Just know that opinions are opinions. Some people do not care about what they say. They just say it.

To some people, a child at 16 is a ruin. To some people a child out of wed lock period is ruin.

So let's just think about that before cambion gets rammed!

:o)

sarah

Yeah I totaly agree even tho I jamp in :))! Think of what you want and if u are ready to b a mum (even tho I think your never ready) think it throught maybe have a talk with you mum and even sit down together and wright a list of why ur ready and your mum can write a list of why she thinks urs not and go throught it maybe your mum will realise ur ready or u will realise ur not xxx

i know it might realise like a silly thing to do but it doesnt involve you and your mum shouting at eachother and yous can both see eachothers point of view xx

Explain to your mom that if you two agree that you aren't ready to be a parent and both feel that it's best you not be raising this baby that adoption is also an option to explore. I think it would be a decision that would be a lot easier to live with. Adoption seems to be underated, as soon as a girl finds herself pregnant the only two possibilities they seem to come up with is parenting and abortion. Explore all your options and make your choice regardless of what your mom wants you to do. And good luck, you are going through a really hard time.

Your mother cannot force you, or make you get an abortion. But you need to think long and hard why she may feel that way. She is done having children and may see you having a child as more responsibility for her since you are so, so young.

Look, I work in low income housing, I see young mothers every single day of the week who struggle and work hard to overcome poverty. Heck, I was a mother at 16. Would I do it again? No way. That is the pivotal point in my life where the road split 2 ways and I took one way and completely ignored the other way. Do I regret it? I don't regret my son in any way - but I do regret not finishing school and getting to experience all the things my peers did. Prom, graduation, parties, dates - I didn't get any of that.

Think long and hard about whatever decision you make because whatever it is will be with you the rest of your life.

Good luck!!

Wow, i'm shocked no one started screaming at me for what I said. Maybe there is hope for this board.

As far as your options, here's what I suggest doing. Take a piece of paper, and write down your three options of parenthood, abortion, and adoption. Write down the pros and cons of each one. Then try to imagine what your life will be like in each scenario...

- parenthood would mean a truckload of work, dropping out of school, early morning feedings, changing dirty diapers, screaming, little sleep, and perhaps lots of resentment from your mother, just to name a few. People may say parenthood is joyous and all, but for every minute of joy, there will be about fifteen minutes of suffering. It all depends on how much time, money, and effort you want to put into raising something that will not even be grateful of your efforts until least twenty years later. The up-side is that you would have contributed someone with your genes to the next generation.

- adoption would give you the personal satisfaction of knowing your uterus works without the burden of parenthood. However, you would not only be contributing to the overpopulation, but you would be putting the child in a situation where it may not even find a home. If your child isn't a blonde-haired blue-eyed white baby, it already has a small chance of being adopted. It may grow up never having a family, and then it'll be on its own the second it turns 18. Also, how would you feel if your child came and found you years after it got out of the foster system? They would wonder and ask (probably) why you didn't want them or why you abandoned them. Sometimes, nothing hurts more than knowing your mother did not want you.

- if you abort, you will not have to deal with either parenting or the thought of knowing you have a child somewhere out there in the world. Abortion would almost be you "get out of jail free" card. You can continue school and normal life in general, and have a baby later in life when you're more ready emotionally and financially. The only downside is you may feel something like post-partum depression and, depending on your stance (pro-life or pro-choice), you may feel robbed of the 'precious miracle of life' or get people telling you dumb things like 'omfgz u k/illd ur chyuld u evil an oin 2 hell'.

Now, before anyone dives down my throat, I am not in any way trying to tell this girl what is right and what is wrong, because the right decision isn't the right one for everyone. I am simply telling her some pros and cons (more cons than pros, though) of each scenario. But in the end it is her decision and no one else's.

To the author of the topic, may I inquire as to where the father is in this situation? Is he having any say in this?

Its your child.She shouldnt control that.

man, why must you push buttons by supporting abortion?! You know that that's gonna start drama of some kind here.
The reason why nobody jumped on you is because we expect from no one but you.

Sarah

look at the original posters user name. Lorrieandkeith. I assume she is lorrie and the father is keith. So I also assume the father is active in some way.

Also for every infant placed for adoption there is something like 40 couples waiting for an infant. Infants are in high demand, they don't get left in the foster system. That is crap. Are you even aware how full adoption agencies are of prospective parents who wait years for an infant to become available? Besides, you don't have to hand over your baby for a state adoption, where it might be temporarily placed in foster care because arrangements weren't made previous to the birth. You can do it through an agency, or privately (which most people who give a crap about their kid will do), where there is an agreement before the child even arrives. The foster system isn't full of infants waiting for adoption, it it full of older children, who get over looked for not being babies, for being taken out of their homes at an older age, who already come with emotional damage and behavioral problems. It's sad because these children deserve homes just as much as infants, but infants are just in general more desirable by most prospective parents. So that is a bunch of crock. Most people won't immediately place a child in state care after birth, but will have an arrangement either through an agency or private adoption already in place, meaning the child never has to spend time in the foster system while arrangements are being made.

Also, over population is not in general a problem in north america. Over the world, yes. If that was the case we wouldn't be bringing in so many immigrants from other countries. The average couple has 1 1/2 children, which isn't enough to even replenish the population, hence why north america is such an advocate of immigration. It is thought that in 20 years north america's population will be 50 percent immigrants. Her keeping this baby isn't really adding to the problem of over population, as north america infact is slowly dropping in american and canadian population and increasing in the population of foreign peoples. If canadians and americans were having more children north america wouldn't be advocating immigration so much because there would be adequate north american citizens to fill job and economical needs.

Even if over population was an issue in north america, who gets to decide which people have more right to live? Which lives aren't worth living? If over population is a problem why should her baby have any less right at life than you cambion? That is a pretty self righteous thought, that this baby doesn't have a right to live because of a problem (such as over population) that they are not to blame for. If your opinion is she should personally solve the problem of over population by aborting her baby then why not kill yourself and be a part of the solution as well? I mean it's just as reasonable (by which I mean both idea's are completely preposterous). I vote we abort you instead.

Parenthood doesn't mean you have to drop out of school. There are many ways to further your education, you just have to work hard enough. Having a child doesn't mean sacrificing your goals, but it does mean putting them on hold. I have already sorted out how I will have, not only enough credits to graduate highschool, but also all the credits I need to get into the university courses I need to become an optometrist. I don't have to give up these goals, I just have to work a little harder. For example, I have to get through three courses working independently at home, and I will have to bust my as* to keep my grades up while juggling motherhood. If all teen parents are dropping out and it is as impossible to continue their education as you make it sound then why is there help for students with children, why are so many universities equipped with day care facilities? It isn't the 50's anymore.

As you have never been a parent I don't know what you base your "for every minute of joy, there will be about fifteen minutes of suffering " statistic on and can guarantee anyone with any actually experience in this area will highly disagree with you.

We are living in a time where women are more liberated than ever. Being a single parent is more acceptable than ever before, and there are way more options to be a successful than there were in the past for females who choose to parent on their own.

The only con you were given for adoption was some very random, unfounded, excretion of the anus. It is very hard to find cons about something as wonderful as giving a couple, who are unable, and who's greatest wish is to parent, a child.

Its your body you can do what you want! Even if money is an issue yuo can find a way! A baby is blessing no matter when. You know what is right. Always follow your instinct. Good luck

-katieflower

Tanyaface I don't know what state you live in but the are plenty of children waiting to be adopted in pa. I was looking online bcuz I was thinking of adopting when i'm ready to have another child, childbirth was a highly overrated experience that I am not willing to repeat.... Lol!