I was with my bf for a year. He is 23 and
I am 20. At the beginning of the
relationship he told me that he was
bipolar. I didn't really pay it any mind
because he seemed fine to me. Currently
we are split up because he choked me a
couple weeks ago. Here's what happened:
i went over his house to see him before I
left for school. We were having problems
because I told him that his temper scared
me sometimes ane he assured me that he
would never do anything to hurt me. We
made love. After he asked me what my
decision was. I told him that we should
be friends. Everything seemed fine for a
second. He was sitting there acting
normal. Then out of nowhere he put his
hands over my nose and mouth and then
choked me saying he was going to kill me.
Then he got up and was screaming for me to
get out of his house and then we went
outside and he was going into a rampage.
Yelling, screaming, and crying saying how
he wants to die. He claims he "blacked
out" and doesn't remember everything that
happened. He had never been violent like
that with me before and even he admitted
that he had never been like that before in
his life with a female.
Let me give you some background on his
conditon. He was diagnosed at 13. He was
on meds but they made his outbursts worst
so he stopped taking it. He has been to
counseling as well. He isn't currently on
any meds. He has agreed to go back on
meds though so thats a good start.
This really boggles my mind because I know
he isn't a "woman beater". He is the
sweetest thing in the world and our
relationship has had its share of problems
but i've never been as happy as I was with
him. When things were good..They were
really good.
I don't know what to do and I know people
are thinking that i'm dumb for even giving
him another thought. But I love him and I
know he has a problem that he can't help.
I love him and I honestly believe he is my
soulmate. Now that I look back on things
I see the signs. He tried to commit
suicide and he made suicidal comments. He
would have these depressed days where he
didnt want to talk to anyone. He is very
irritable and little things upset him. He
can be mad one second and crying the next.
I've been trying to educate myself on the
condition because I really want to stay in
his life. He has had an extrememly rough
life and he has a lot of built up anger
and pain from things he has been through.
What do you guys think? Please be honest.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
I know you guys are going to tell me to
leave him but I want to support him
because I know it isn't his fault.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Tiabia08 Posted: 09-01-06 00:33am
Welcome! He needs to be under dr's
care! He needs those meds to survive!He
can hurt or k*ill you and that was just a
warning if he really cares about you, he
will do this for you! If he does commit
suicide, it is not your fault. Does he
have any friends or family that can go
over and talk to him sensibly? Will he
let you go to the dr with him. It is
not your fault what happened to him in the
past and his bi-polar disease but he needs
professional help with both. Don't let
him do this to you please! Sure, he may
love you but he needs to learn to love
himself and to get the help he needs
otherwise you will lose the respect for
him and I know where you are comming from,
I went thru some bad abuse myself!
Keepin mind, I am not a Dr.
I am here for you! He needs to talk to
his dr when he is having these outbursts
so the dr can change his meds. Or he
can change his Dr.
The very best to you!
|
Mr Smith
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Posts: 4 Location: Texas
Re: Tiabia08 Posted: 11-25-06 03:29am
sandyallen
wrote:
he needs to be under dr's
care! He needs those meds to
survive!
furthest from the truth... It's clear
that he's been doctored his entire life,
and is literally having a mental
breakdown. This can lead to his own
death, or the death of others, and must be
dealt with correctly. Medications are
not the answer; never have been, never
will be. Neither is staying in a
relationship with him. It doesn't help
the woman, and it surely doesn't help him
either.
Now if someone chokes you, and tells you
that they're going to kill you, then
that's extreme. I imagine that the
authorities were not contacted. It would
have been the sensible thing to do,
considering he could harm someone in the
near future that may not survive an
attack. If that were to happen, then
who's to blame?
My advise? Get out! He has violent
tendencies and in bipolar people this gets
worse with age. If he won't take the meds
or he has adverse reactions to them, then
you are continuing to live with a ticking
time bomb. Get counseling for yourself
|
Balch
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Dec 2006 Posts: 30 Location: Sunnyvale
My Advice Posted: 12-12-06 03:59am
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder
characterized by alternating states of
depression and mania that follow each
other in a repeating cycle.
People with bipolar disorder may cycle
through these states quickly or may
experience long periods of depression or
mania. Often one mood state predominates,
while the other occurs only infrequently
or briefly. The cause of bipolar disorder
is unknown.
Symptoms of the elevated mood stage of
bipolar disorder include an exaggerated
sense of confidence and well-being, racing
thoughts, excessive talking,
distractibility, increased desire for
pleasurable activity, decreased need for
sleep, impulsivity, irritability, and
impairment in judgment. The depressed
phase includes symptoms of sadness,
fatigue, pessimism, feelings of
helplessness, low self-esteem, and loss of
interest in life, possibly with thoughts
of suicide.
Medical options for bipolar disorder
prescription drug treatment of bipolar
disorder includes lithium carbonate
(eskalith®, lithobid®), valproic acid
(depakote®, depakene®), carbamazepine
(tegretol®), and lamotrigine
(lamictal®). Antianxiety drugs,
antidepressants, and antipsychotics are
also common components of treatment.
Psychological counseling and sleep
management is sometimes recommended.
Severe cases requiring hospitalization due
to rapid or pronounced mood swings might
also require electroconvulsive therapy
(electrical impulses applied to the
brain).
Lifestyle changes that may be helpful
exercise influences the production and use
of neurotransmitters and hormones in the
body, and its antidepressant effect is
well known.1 a preliminary study of the
effects of vigorous exercise on the body
chemistry of patients with bipolar
disorder found that exercise increased a
specific chemical associated with better
mood.2 however, exercise may adversely
influence the effectiveness of some
medications used for bipolar disorder.
Many people with bipolar disorder take
lithium, and because lithium is lost in
sweat, exercise that involves significant
sweating may change blood levels of
lithium. Such a change has been reported
in one person;3 therefore, people taking
lithium who intend to start a vigorous
exercise program should be monitored by
their doctor.
Vitamins that may be helpful
people diagnosed with depression may have
lower blood levels of omega-3 fatty
acids.4 5 a double-blind trial found that
bipolar patients taking 9.6 grams of
omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil per day
in addition to their conventional
medications had significant improvements
compared with those taking placebo.6
