> 1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
> "if you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleaning."
>
> 2. My mother taught me religion.
> "you better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
> 3. My mother taught me about time travel.
> "if you don't straighten up, i'm going to knock you into the middle
of
> next week!"
>
> 4. My mother taught me logic.
> " because I said so, that's why."
>
> 5. My mother taught me more logic.
> "if you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to
> the store with me."
>
> 6. My mother taught me foresight.
> "make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
> 7. My mother taught me irony.
> "keep crying, and i'll give you something to cry about."
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
> "shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>
> 9. My mother taught me about contortionism.
> "will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me about stamina.
> "you'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
> 11. My mother taught me about weather.
> "this room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
> 12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
> "if I told you once, i've told you a million times. Don't
exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me the circle of life.
> "i brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
> 14. My mother taught me about behavior modification.
> "stop acting like your father!"
>
> 15. My mother taught me about envy.
> "there are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."
>
> 16. My mother taught me about anticipation.
> "just wait until we get home."
>
> 17. My mother taught me about receiving.
> "you are going to get it when you get home!"
>
> 18. My mother taught me medical science.
> "if you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
that
> way."
>
> 19. My mother taught me esp.
> "put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
> 20. My mother taught me humor.
> "when that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>
> 21. My mother taught me how to become an adult.
> "if you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>
> 22. My mother taught me genetics.
> "you're just like your father."
>
> 23. My mother taught me about my roots
> "shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
>
> 24. My mother taught me wisdom .
> "when you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
> and my favorite:
>
> 25. My mother taught me about justice.
> "one day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

sarah (not the author)