unplanned and not opting for abortion is one thing. But to plan a pregnancy at such a young and naive age is totally irresponsible. A person at that age doesnt know themselves, they have no "real" life experiences, don't quite understand that relationships are not fairytales and are actually hard work. I dont get how someone that young would chose that over havingfun, clubbing, experiencing travel, meeting new people at college and university and just being free for the short time youre actually young! Its sad!

thanks, glad i'm not alone in thinking this. Obviously suprise pregnancies are different but it's the actual deliberately trying when in a far from ideal situation that annoys me!

some girls have such crappy lives themselves that they feel their only way out is to create a family of their own. They feel that they will have some control over their life in this way; they may have had a bad childhood but they want to give their child a wonderful one.


With reference to the poll question, I think you need to be a bit more specific. To say someone's situation is 'not great' is a bit generic. What do you mean by 'not great'?

maybe because no one is singing that song. No one tells you how hard it is and you probably wouldn't listen if you really want to have kids at that point anyway. Everyone just tells you the gushy hallmark card moment version of it and they neglect the nitty gritty details. In that way, when you do find out what it's really like, it's too late and you're stuck.

Also, the reality of having children young is relatively subjective too. If you have someone to pay your way, help you care for the child, and having a child doesn't keep you from getting to do whatever you want, then your reality is very different from someone who has to work two jobs, will never get to go to college or have any other job training, and pays a small fortune in daycare.

since we're removed from the situation, this seems like the most logical choice but people who are deciding to have children or who have children can tell you that logic, even though it's sorely needed, rarely comes into play. You get swept up in the baby clothes and the baby furniture and picking out names and having people fawn over you. You forget that it will likely mean the end of your educational aspirations and that you will, if you haven't already, stagnate at your job because of it (there is a glass ceiling for parents in the majority of american large businesses).

When I became pregnant, there was a time, a very short time, when I was sentimental about the whole thing. But, thankfully, logic took over and slapped me over the head. Then my life was in danger anyway so it made the process more simple.

there are lots of reasons. When I was 20 it seemed like all of my friends became pregnant, one after another. It could be attention, as crappy as that sounds. Also, one of my friends felt very unloved and unappreciated at home so she wanted to have "someone who will love me always." no amount of telling her that children take far, far more love than they give could change her mind. Some women fall to societal pressures (especially if they come from a "traditional" family) that they are supposed to have their children young. Some women think they're absolutely in love and the greatest thing in the whole world would be to have a baby with their partner, despite if they can put food on the table or not.

The decision to have children is always very personal which is why it must be a personal choice. If this young woman wants to have a child at her age, then that is her choice and as such, she has my full support and best wishes for the future. My thoughts as to if she is selfish or not really don't matter.

if everyone was logical about their decision to have children, most of us wouldn't be typing here today. Only half of pregnancies are planned and far fewer of those are planned at the best times in the best circumstances. My mother planned me but financially, the situation could have been better (as it was when my brother was born).

it's always selfish. .A.L.W.A.Y.S. People do not have children for any selfless reasons it is always what they want, what they desire, what they feel they have to do despite their circumstances. It's selfish for this young woman, it's selfish for me to have an abortion because I want a better life for my children than they one I could provide at the moment, and it was selfish of my mother to have me just because she wanted to have children. it's all selfish.

Why would someone be selfish for having a child if they have the financial resources/patience at that age???


I was pregnant with my daughter at 19, I have an awesome job a place to live and I do my schooling at home when the kids go to bed does that make me selfish?? I still hang out with friends, I still go clubbing 1 every two months and I still have money to pay for my kids stuff and resp.

I am not irresponsible, but im ahead of the game!

Many people say that women who have abortions are selfish, yet the reasons they have children are selfish in and of themselves. It's just an "acceptable" selfishness that disguises itself as altruistic that makes it okay.




because it's selfish to have a child, period. I challenge you to give me one non selfish reason people choose to birth children.



no- what would make you selfish, at least in the spirit of this thread, is if you purposefully conceived children when your life circumstances were not of the ilk to successfully provide for them. If you're living at home, 18, no job, no security, nothing that a child needs, and purposefully attempting to have a child, especially without telling the man involved what your intentions are, then yes, that isn't just selfish, it's lunacy.

i was questionning the motives of young women who do not have that stability but it's not the norm for teenagers to be financially stable




did you plan to get pg at 19 with your daughter? If not then that's not what i'm talking about - i'm talking about deliberate pregnancies.
I also did not mention anything about irresponsibility

Yong women desperately try to get pregnant for any number of reasons. Some do it because they think their lives are lacking in something and a baby will fill the void. Others think they need someone to love them (because boyfriends aren't good enough). Or some may just do it to keep their partners with them or try to keep marriages together, which are both childish reasons.

The reason many girls dive head-first into pregnancy is because everyone glorifies children and makes parenthood seem like the greatest experience on the planet. And, of course, young girls equate "greatness" with "no work" - you know, they like to think the best things in life are free. They don't bother telling anyone else who might know something about children about their desire to spawn because, heaven forbid, said experienced person might tell them something negative or that work is involved. We can't have teenage and college-aged girls getting their hopes crushed by facts, now can we?

In my honest opinion, I don't think anyone has any business having kids these days because of the overpopulation. If everyone in the world quit breeding for a couple of years, we would still have overpopulation problems. And the people who make the worst parents or who can't support themselves are the ones shooting out the most children/welfare checks.

I don't even want to get into how much I hate those girls who poke holes in their condoms or "forget" their birth control to get pregnant without their partner's consent. There's a special place in hell for these evil women. But what can you do? Humans are selfish by nature.

i dleiberatly got pregnant with my first and second was unplanned, I was married and hubby just got back from a posting and we thought it was a good time to try.


children are the world of tommorrow it would actually be selfish not to have children (im not saying everyone) but honestly without a population everything would be dead.

Yes but it would be great if people knew what the the heck they were doing before having kids besides taking another number on the welfare line expecting to be taken care of all of their lives and handing it down to their children and on and on. Welfare is great and i'm not against it if you need it for a while for example your husband passes on and leaves you nothing and you have kids to raise or your husband leaves you and he cannot be found or you are going through an abusive relationship, then get in, get yourself trained for something, then get a job and get off of welfare heck, don't let it be your security blanket for the rest of your life, show some pride!

oh please, children are the world of tomorrow. All children of today have to look forward to is the crappy world of tomorrow and of the future, which won't be much better. It's very selfish to go and spawn when the world's resources are already suffering and there's very little room left for new people. Do we need to breed like mad until the human race is all standing shoulder to shoulder? I swear, people make me sick. Thankfully i'll have long since died when this damned world starts to take a nose-dive because of today's retards.

And everything wouldn't die if humans were gone. In fact, it would be the very opposite - humans being nonexistant would allow other species a chance to grow. Animals do not depend on humans to live, nor do plants. I think it would be interesting to think of what species may become the dominant one if humans were gone.



may I inquire why you think the childfree are selfish?

with 6 billion people on the planet, there is absolutely .N.O danger of there not being a "population" of human beings.

In light of this fact, it is selfish to have children even if you strongly believe you are doing it to make the world a better place.

any decision, any, about whether to have children or not is selfish. You cannot discuss or plan the issue of children without using the word "i." your wants, wishes, desires, and plans are all selfish. Everyone's is.

But, that doesn't mean that selfishness, in this regard, is a bad or negative thing.

All childbearing decisions are performed selfishly and are, in and of themselves, selfish because no one needs to have a child. People have children because they want to.

don't worry, .Cambion,everything has its time. I'm sure a fate similar to that which befell the dinosaurs is in store for the human race...Except it will be at our own hand. We have clearly shown we are not worthy of this beautiful planet.

If it is selfish to have a child then it is selfish for you to be alive!!!


Are you suggesting that every pregnant woman get an abortion, thats nowhere near pro-choice that f**king extremist thinking!

Are you going to tell me that love is a selfish act,bringing up a child with your value/moral is selfish, I think not. Honestly if you dont wanty kids great but for people who do dont breathe down there necks for wanting children.

If love is a want then all of you who are with someone have just shown that you are selfish when I so strongly believe in choice and that a pregnancy is based on choice for a variety of reasons, if a woman did not want a child the she has a choice of what to do with it.


Some of you are hypocrites

i was wondering what a penisroach was lol

They have ointment for that.

[qupte]because you are choosing not to have children to continue your lifestyle. Having children makes the single life non existent.[/quote]

what do you mean having kids makes single life nonexistant? Haven't you ever heard of single parents? I still don't understand why you think the cfers are selfish - because we choose not to make the world a worse place and make more people to suck up the dwindling resources? I suppose if you want to see the downfall of the human race come faster, then the cf would be selfish for not contributing to the plan. I'm not attacking you, stillherelosers...Just still sort of scratching my head at your post.



it may not be selfish to have a child emotionally (and in a few cases, financially, when welfare is not involved), but it is biologically, especially now that people choose to defy nature with things like ivf. Infertility is natural birth control, and since people have chosen to mess around with that, we get women spawning premature franken-litters who have all sorts of birth defects. Then we also get women who make ten kids the old-fashioned way who have more than enough to make up for those who choose not to make the world suck even more. It's disgusting - these women must be on some good meds to handle such a workload. But i'm sure doctors aren't complaining about all the thousands they receive for ivf.

Actually, I find it funny that people continue to have kids - they are contributing to the downfall of their own race and they either are oblivious to it or they don't care.

Also, there's a difference between wanting kids and wanting them for the right reasons. There's a handful of good parents out there, but they are greatly outnumbered by stupid parents who don't know the first thing about childcare or who want kids for the wrong reasons (i.E., because it's what adults do, I want to keep my marriage intact, I want a free little slave, etc.). These are the people who shouldn't be having kids.

Wanting certain things isn't selfish. Love is a human necessity in my opinion, but children are not. There are way too many people having kids who can't even support them, and then these kids end up living crappy lives, get neglected, or get abused. None of you can say that child abuse doesn't exist. But since children are the world of tomorrow, it's okay to have them and beat them, right? Who cares how kids get treated, just as long as they get born. {sarcasm}