Overweight With An Eating Disorder? Posted: 08-30-06 00:29am
Is it possible to be overweight but still
have an eating disoorder. I feel like I
am trapped in this mental hell. I have
lost 105 pounds. I went from being
morbidly obese at 290 pounds to weighing
185 (my current weight). I eat bites of
food at a time and exercise all the time.
This has been the only way i've ever been
able to lose weight.
I feel like I am in the secret world and
noone knows. I get compliments all the
time on how great I look, i've really beat
the obesity (my whole family is obese) and
that only feeds it. No one sees the pain
because I am still 25 pounds overweight
according to the chart. When u are a
normal weight or slightly overweight, no
one notices when u don't eat. No one
thinks twice about you saying "i'm not
hungry." "i've already eaten." "my stomach
hurts." etc I have also been known to
chew and spit my fav foods like pizza and
fried chicken so I can taste them without
getting the calories.
I cringe at the thought of eating. When
I have to eat, my mind calculates calories
in my head and brainstorms ways I can burn
it off. I feel guilty whenever food
touches my lips. Afterall, food is what
made me the fat disgusting pig I used to
be and nothing tastes as good as it feels
to be a normal size 14 now!!
I am cold all the time. My house is on 80
degrees now and I have goosebumps and am
weating a sweatshirt. The other night at
work my fingernails were blue I was so
cold. I am tired and sleep all the time
and think "cool. If I am sleeping then I
am not eating." my skin is dry all the
time and even peels (it never used to do
that!), my constipation is 10 times worse,
and my blood pressure is even lower (from
120/80 to 100/60 area)
my problem is I don't want to quit being
conscious of what I eat because i'm afraid
if I let down on it, I will get fatter
again. But I get tired of thinking about
food (or lack therof), my weight, my size,
calories, etc all the time. Sometimes I
just need a mental break.
Are there any resources for people who
were obese and could be classified as
having an eating disorder but just aren't
underweight??
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Re: Overweight With An Eating Disorder? Posted: 08-30-06 09:35am
duffanie
wrote:
is it possible to be
overweight but still have an eating
disorder? I feel like I am trapped in
this mental hell. I have lost 105
pounds. I went from being morbidly
obese at 290 pounds to weighing 185 (my
current weight). I eat bites of food at
a time and exercise all the time. This
has been the only way i've ever been able
to lose
weight.
hi, duffanie. Yes, it's possible that
happens, having an eating disorder isn't
exclusive of people underweight, because
there are a lot of different eating
disorders. Some are related to
overweight, some to underweight and others
to normal weight.
I too am recovering from bulimia and i'm
sure not over or underweight or have
shortly been a bit heavy in my teens.
As you said that your whole family is
obese, it was most likely that you'd turn
up to be obese too, so genes must have
played a big role there.
duffanie
wrote:
i have also been known to
chew and spit my fav foods like pizza and
fried chicken so I can taste them without
getting the calories. I cringe at the
thought of eating. When I have to eat,
my mind calculates calories in my head and
brainstorms ways I can burn it off. I
feel guilty whenever food touches my
lips.
eating disorders are closely related to
your thinking. By thinking that way and
doing that "chew/split" thing, you are
going into a vicious circle. It's more
about the way you think then anything
else. You've already lost so much weight,
you have to be careful with that. It's
hard to see ourselves in the mirror and
like, but listen at what others have to
say too. You showed courage and
determination, but take one step at a
time.
For what you've described, you may be not
giving your organism everything it needs
to work properly. Having a diet doesn't
mean not eating!
duffanie
wrote:
are there any resources for
people who were obese and could be
classified as having an eating disorder
but just aren't
underweight??
have you even followed a meals plan or
gone to a nutricionist or therapist
before? It usually helps, because you
have someone who knows what to do and in
which you can rely on.
Give news.
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 08-30-06 12:23pm
I went to a dietician when I was either a
senior in high school or freshman in
college (don't remember). But that's when
I hit my heaviest weight of 290 pounds.
She gave me a booklet about a diabetic
diet 1800 calorie and thought that would
be a good healthy way for me to lose
weight.
I don't remember what ever happened with
that.
But mentally I can't take much more guilt,
shame, calorie counting. I feel like I am
in prison cause no matter how much I want
to, my mind always thinks about my weight,
my body, and food.
I mean there are some eating disorder
websites, but I couldn't find any
specifically dedicated to obese/overweight
people who develop anorexia type eating
disorders (flip from compulsive overeating
to starvation, which is basically what I
did). If there aren't, maybe I should
start one!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 08-30-06 12:42pm
Chewing your food and spiting it out is
definitely not a good sign. In how long
of a time did you lose the 105 lbs? Your
body needs food just like you vehicle
needs fuel and care. These fast fad diets
are not good along with alot of these diet
pills and laxatives and thowing up what
you eat. When you loose weight fast you
gain it back fast and then some. If you
need help get help, you are not alone!
People have lost their lives with ed,
their was a girl that past on not too long
ago from ed, it is dangerous and scary.
Their are a lot of good and safe diets
where you lose the weight gradually but
these diets are safe, and you can still
eat the cake and pie and ice cream but
only in small amounts. Please get help,
you are not only hurting yourself, but you
are hurting those that love and care about
you.
Please let us know how you are doing!
Don't feel guilty about eating!
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 08-30-06 13:08pm
Well, but you mutsn't let yourtself go
down that way. Sandyallen is completelly
right and she said the same things I
wanted to. You mustn't fell bad about
your weight, specially if you've already
turned it into a better and healthier
weight.
Try doing a healthy eating instead of a
diet, because so much restrictions and so
much planning arount your meals will only
make you think more and more about it....
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 08-30-06 14:51pm
I just didn't realize until lately that my
thinking and guilt isn't normal. I don't
throw up or use laxatives or anything. I
just only eat very little (like bites each
day).
I used to eat nonstop like all day long.
I kept chips and candy in my locker in
high school and ate it all day long and
ate my lunch and bought 2 packs of cookies
(4 cookies) and ate them with my lunch.
On muffin day, I would buy 2 jumbo muffins
and eat them along with my lunch.
My life used to revolve around food. So
its like the food is what made me so fat
in the first place so now I have this
overwhelming guilt whenever I put even a
bite in my mouth.
I have bad days and I have good days.
|
v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 08-30-06 16:00pm
duffanie
wrote:
my life used to revolve
around food. So its like the food is
what made me so fat in the first place so
now I have this overwhelming guilt
whenever I put even a bite in my mouth.
I have bad days and I have good
days.
and doesn't ir happen now too? When
you're thinking about food all the time
and keep calculating things? You can have
a nice weight and be healthy and not
thinking that much about food, I can
tell...
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 08-30-06 16:14pm
I have days where I can eat a little
without feeling tortured in guilt. Then I
have days where I eat like maybe may a
slice of toast all day long. It varies.
But I almost feel addicted to the
chew/spit tactic. Cause I used to be
addicted to food and ate all day. This
way I get to savor the taste of my fav
foods and not swallow and get the
calories.
|
v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 08-31-06 11:36am
You recon that spitting is an habit, which
is the first step to take. Now you are
going to find a way of changing that. You
must eat during the day, like I told
you...
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 08-31-06 15:28pm
I actually ate a cup of fiberone cereal
with 1/2 cup milk today.
Now i'm drinking coffee with my
prescription laxative in it. (seriously
i've taken it for like 2 years)
unfortunately I am feeling extremely
overwhelmed with guilt and fatness.
Thinking about going for a jog.
Isn't it funny how u get so used to being
empty that when there is something in your
stomach you feel gross?
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yonx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Posts: 43 Location: new zealand
Nutrition While Losing Weight Posted: 08-31-06 17:11pm
Just one point duffanie...You can eat lots
of watery foods without putting on weight
and without feeling stuffed. Because
they are high in water they 'melt down'
inside. These of course are the raw
vegetables that are so good for us.
(not starchy vegetables such as potatoes).
Also raw fruits in moderation (not
bananas). Your dry skin is a sign of
deficiencies and maybe a lack of natural
oils. Raw food is full of nutrients.
Edit
an interesting thought regarding obesity
in the site above.
Also you definitely have a hereditary side
with your weight and eating problem.
The two go hand and hand.
You have done so well in losing the
weight, but you must take care of your
nutritional needs as well, for your own
sake. ( there are always nutritional
pills)...
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 09-01-06 17:00pm
I work nights, and I was so mad.
Last night before I went to work at 7 pm,
I had a bowl of fiber one cereal with
milk. Low calorie.
So I go to work for 12 hours. I often
don't eat while at work. Last night for
some reason, my blood sugar went way low
and it was like 5 am. I made it 10 hours.
But I was like falling over, dizzy,
shaky, trembling, and cold sweat. So I
ended up having to eat a handful of trail
mix, half a tuna sandwich, and a few sips
of orange juice.
Grrr....How come sometimes your body can
go forever on just water, crystal light,
diet soda, and coffee....And other times
your body acts like that?
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 09-02-06 16:23pm
:\
hope you're going better today! It's a
brand new day, after all..
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MissTiddlypeeps
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 4 Location: manchester
Eating Disorders Posted: 10-06-06 14:19pm
I havnt the time to read through all of
this just yet,but trust me I will...I hate
the thought of eating n wish I could stop
alltogether,sometimes ill eat perhaps 1
meal a day..Sometimes none....I have no
passion for food like I used to I just want to be
a normal size 10 again....I know deep down
I need help but I want to concentrate on
helping others first....If any1 needs any
advice, im quite good at giving it!
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Re: Eating Disorders Posted: 10-07-06 11:00am
misstiddlypeeps
wrote:
i hate the thought of eating
n wish I could stop alltogether,sometimes
ill eat perhaps 1 meal a day..Sometimes
none....I have no passion for food like I
used to I just want to be
a normal size 10
again....
and you seem to really be in need of some
help and understanding? What's been
worrying you? You'll be ok, we all will,
someday!
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 11-23-06 22:45pm
Thought I would stop back in. I have
dropped more weight. I actually haven't
been chewing and spitting for the past few
weeks. I've been eating a little bit.
But still dropping weight. I'm only 13
pounds away from hitting the top # in my
ideal weight range (i started out at 290
pounds).
I haven't been on much lately. I've been
pretty sick. Dizzy and fainting. My bp
has been running super low. The dr has
me drinking gatorade daily. I am
starting up next week with a psychologist.
I go back to see the dr in january 15
(after the holidays) for a follow up about
my weight and more blood work.
A couple weeks ago I had to miss a couple
days of work because I was so weak I
couldn't move. I mean I really couldn't
hardly move my muscles and was running a
pretty high fever.
Doing the gatorade and trying to eat bites
here and there to keep myself feeling ok.
|
v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 11-24-06 05:35am
duffanie
wrote:
thought I would stop back
in. I have dropped more weight. I
actually haven't been chewing and spitting
for the past few weeks. I've been
eating a little bit. But still dropping
weight. I'm only 13 pounds away from
hitting the top # in my ideal weight range
(i started out at 290 pounds).
I haven't been on much lately. I've
been pretty sick.
hi, it's been a while since we last heard
from you. Hope you get better :s you seem
to be having a hard time, but keep up,
don't lose your hope or sanity. And don't
harm yourself, ok?
I'm having a pretty hard time myself, I
started throwing up again... I feel
completely disgusting...
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duffanie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Aug 2006 Posts: 14 Location: Indiana
Posted: 11-24-06 13:00pm
I know girl I haven't talked to you in
forever! I'm sad to hear you started
throwing up again but I totally understand
the frustration with your weight and the
desire to do it. I hope we all band
together and encourage each other and get
better...
|
v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
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Posted: 11-24-06 13:35pm
So do i... I just want this pain to
end... :\i'm feeling such a failure, i'm
sure you can understand. I have so much
to do for the university and i'm passing
through a bad time at home and with my bf
as well.
I stopped writing down what I eat in my
little note book. Since the beginning of
this year that I do this to control
myself. I'm gonna give it a rest for a
week and see how it goes.. What do you
think of this? This time of the year is
particularly hard for me and for us,
struggling with eds, because of all the
eating moments and the holidays and the
things around it.. :\
besides, i've been eating slices of cheese
(low fat, but...) with quince paste. It's
something I absolutely love, but i'm sure
it fattering, ain't it?
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Duffanie Posted: 11-24-06 15:56pm
I am so happy for you that if you were
here that I would give you a hug! I am
glad that you have sought professional
help and he or she seems to know wht they
are doing because with you spitting
everything out you were not getting the
nutrients that you very much needed and
were loosing your lectrolites(sp)which was
causing you to be week and dizzy and I am
so glad that you got yourself some help in
time, I understand how difficult it is at
least now the gatorade will help you and
maybe you will start eating better and
then you will start feeling better about
youself but I know that it all takes time
as this is such a terrible disease and
most people do not realize that it or how
it can effect your whole body system and I
so wish we could put an end to it all now
but we know that it is unfortunately not
going to happen! Just hang in there, I
know that it is difficult, we all have our
bad days!
I just want to be
a normal size 10 again....I know deep down
I need help but I want to concentrate on
helping others first....If any1 needs any
advice, im quite good at giving it!