New guy here with a question. Been married for 12 years, dated off/on for 8, we are 35.

I'm try'n to "light her fire", I do as much as I can around the house, do a lot of the cooking, and make enough that she can be a stay at home mom by working as much as possible. This spring I took the kids to grandparents house and took her out to a nice restaurant and stayed in a nice hotel with a hot-tub in the room. She liked that as we have not done that since our honeymoon. Gave her a few gift certificates to shop where she likes to shop this summer, she enjoyed that also. Booked an appointment at a spa for massage, petticure, manicure, facial and lunch. I know she will like that since i've done that for her before. Have other plans but don't want to overload, what to spread out the "fun".

I'll be honest, I am doing this for me also. Try'n to make her happy so I may be happy in bed and elsewhere also. I'm slow, but I believe that she has never been "really attracted" to me. She has always been a sucker for blonde hair, blue/green eyes, tall and skinny. I'm average height, brown hair & eyes, muscular and "thick". Not fat, not skinny, but thick. I still have my six pac, but the bottom 2 are loosing their definition :roll: . I'm funny and easy going, and I think she married a "friend" and not a lover/friend.

She doesn't return many favors, she is not selfish(i don't think) but she doesn't come up to me and give me a hug & kiss anymore. Doesn't try to hold my hand, and rarely initiates sex. She doesn't do what some of my friends wives do to them and I treat her 10 times better.

Am I doing too much for her? It appears that the jerks have their women hanging on them, while mine doesn't. I used to know it all :wink: , but now I don't know how to treat a woman anymore. Two kids 8 & 11. I'm out of ideas. Sex is good when we have it, I now have control to hold off till she is "done" then it is my turn. What do I do to have her want to do stuff for me, and come on to me for a change?

Sorry it's so long, I appreciate the help.