New guy here with a question. Been
married for 12 years, dated off/on for 8,
we are 35.
I'm try'n to "light her fire", I do as
much as I can around the house, do a lot
of the cooking, and make enough that she
can be a stay at home mom by working as
much as possible. This spring I took the
kids to grandparents house and took her
out to a nice restaurant and stayed in a
nice hotel with a hot-tub in the room.
She liked that as we have not done that
since our honeymoon. Gave her a few gift
certificates to shop where she likes to
shop this summer, she enjoyed that also.
Booked an appointment at a spa for
massage, petticure, manicure, facial and
lunch. I know she will like that since
i've done that for her before. Have
other plans but don't want to overload,
what to spread out the "fun".
I'll be honest, I am doing this for me
also. Try'n to make her happy so I may
be happy in bed and elsewhere also. I'm
slow, but I believe that she has never
been "really attracted" to me. She has
always been a sucker for blonde hair,
blue/green eyes, tall and skinny. I'm
average height, brown hair & eyes,
muscular and "thick". Not fat, not
skinny, but thick. I still have my six
pac, but the bottom 2 are loosing their
definition :roll: . I'm funny and easy
going, and I think she married a "friend"
and not a lover/friend.
She doesn't return many favors, she is not
selfish(i don't think) but she doesn't
come up to me and give me a hug & kiss
anymore. Doesn't try to hold my hand,
and rarely initiates sex. She doesn't do
what some of my friends wives do to them
and I treat her 10 times better.
Am I doing too much for her? It appears
that the jerks have their women hanging on
them, while mine doesn't. I used to know
it all :wink: , but now I don't know how
to treat a woman anymore. Two kids 8
& 11. I'm out of ideas. Sex is
good when we have it, I now have control
to hold off till she is "done" then it is
my turn. What do I do to have her want
to do stuff for me, and come on to me for
a change?
Sorry it's so long, I appreciate the help.
|
Baby_C
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Nov 2005 Posts: 28
Re: Selfish? Posted: 08-29-06 17:27pm
bullride
wrote:
new guy here with a
question. Been married for 12 years,
dated off/on for 8, we are 35.
I'm try'n to "light her fire", I do as
much as I can around the house, do a lot
of the cooking, and make enough that she
can be a stay at home mom by working as
much as possible. This spring I took
the kids to grandparents house and took
her out to a nice restaurant and stayed in
a nice hotel with a hot-tub in the room.
She liked that as we have not done that
since our honeymoon. Gave her a few
gift certificates to shop where she likes
to shop this summer, she enjoyed that
also. Booked an appointment at a spa
for massage, petticure, manicure, facial
and lunch. I know she will like that
since i've done that for her before.
Have other plans but don't want to
overload, what to spread out the "fun".
I'll be honest, I am doing this for me
also. Try'n to make her happy so I may
be happy in bed and elsewhere also. I'm
slow, but I believe that she has never
been "really attracted" to me. She has
always been a sucker for blonde hair,
blue/green eyes, tall and skinny. I'm
average height, brown hair & eyes,
muscular and "thick". Not fat, not
skinny, but thick. I still have my six
pac, but the bottom 2 are loosing their
definition :roll: . I'm funny and easy
going, and I think she married a "friend"
and not a lover/friend.
She doesn't return many favors, she is not
selfish(i don't think) but she doesn't
come up to me and give me a hug & kiss
anymore. Doesn't try to hold my hand,
and rarely initiates sex. She doesn't
do what some of my friends wives do to
them and I treat her 10 times better.
Am I doing too much for her? It appears
that the jerks have their women hanging on
them, while mine doesn't. I used to
know it all :wink: , but now I don't know
how to treat a woman anymore. Two kids
8 & 11. I'm out of ideas. Sex is
good when we have it, I now have control
to hold off till she is "done" then it is
my turn. What do I do to have her want
to do stuff for me, and come on to me for
a change?
Sorry it's so long, I appreciate the
help.
wow any woman would love to have a man
like you, sounds to me that she's not
interested in you the same way, you needa
tell her how you really feel and if she
keeps it up maybe you should see what's
really going on? Someone else, personal
problems, maybe something is going on with
her, think about you if you wanna live
like that, if not move on more fish in the
sea you could always get better* besides
shouldn't be that hard for you you seem
like a sweet man... But face the facts*
what's really going on? Be true to
yourself*
|
Jaleigh
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2005 Posts: 34
Posted: 08-29-06 22:27pm
I agree. I think most women would love
to have a guy like you. I think your
wife has gotten "used" to you doing these
things for her all the time. She expects
it now. Therefore, it's not as fun as it
used to be when it first started. Do you
see where i'm going w/ this? It also
sounds like she's a little selfish. She
may not even really realize it, but it
does sound like she isn't as concerned w/
what you may want. I think the best thing
for you to do would be to simply discuss
these issues w/ your wife and both of you
try to make it better for each of you.
If she's smart, she'll understand and
she'll meet you have way with all of
this.
