Medical Abortion Forum - Update From Me- Sorry Its Been So Long

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- Update Almost 4 Weeks After...questions....

Q: Update From Me- Sorry Its Been So Long

asked by: BuzzyBee on August 29th, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

I read the post I wrote months ago about my twins. What a tear jerker that was for me.

Im so sorry to say that I did go through with the termination. I cried from the moment I entered to the moment I left. And a month later I havent really stopped!

I dont really know why im writing this maybe to warn others, or because in this day an age women/ girls arent given the full facts about abortion. Well now I know. And its a lesson ill never forget. Never in my life would I recommend for another girl to have an abortion. That doenst mean I dont think they should have the choice to do it, if they wish.

I am not a depressive person nor am I a panicker but I can honestly say I have never ever been so depressed since I had the abortion.

If a single person had asked me on the day if I wanted to go through with it I guarentee I would have run out of the door so quick there would have been dust marks.

I feel like I have lost two children and no career, no amount of money is worth it. When all the prolifers warns me about these feelings I shrugged it off as propoganda, and mind manipulation. I have never been so wrong!

My relationship with my bf, my parents and my friends has never been so rocky. I simply want to hide away in a box and never show my face again.

An abortion is not a quick fix to a "problem". Its the loss of a life that was part of me. And I will never get over that. With any loss there is an extreme amount of pain. And this is never told to yu at the abortion clinc. I shouldnt have had it done I should have gone through with the pregnancy and been 19 weeks pg with two gorgeous twins. But we live an learn.

What upsets me most is that I lost two children and someone got paid for it. Talk about a capitalist society!

I still think that women should have the choice to have an abortion if they truely want it. But pre abortion level of counselling should be sooooo much higher than what it currently is. And also women should be warned that severe depression can and often does follow an abortion for many many years. As at present it is not an informed choice, hence the reason your not allowed to see your scan

thankyou all for your help and advice and im just sorry I didnt listen to some of you a little bit more.

Replies(8)

BUTTER-FLY replied on August 30th, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

I can totally relate to all the emotions you are feeling. I just went through my 2nd abortion - not an easy decision - but it is really hard to deal with it no matter what your situation is. The decision you made was right for you at the time - don't forget that!! You will learn from this decision. It may take time to deal with all the emotions you are feeling - I am still crying as well. Partly hormonal, partly sadness. I will be thinking about you.

Moo replied on August 30th, 2006

Extremely EHEALTHy

I'm sorry you're suffering so badly but I think it depends on the clinic entirely as to how informed you are beforehand (i was allowed to see my scan and given alot of info beforehand). I'm sorry that you regret this decision and I hope things improve for you. Be gentle with yourself and just take some time to work through your emotions.

Tylanas replied on August 30th, 2006

Especially EHEALTHy

I do agree that pre-abortion counseling needs to be better so the women who aren't sure can truly get they help they need before going for it. Then, they may be more prepared and have more courage for the even, or they may be able to have more courage to keep or adopt-out the child. It does depend on the clinic however.

Yet in the end... Your choice has been made, and it's over and done with. I'm not saying you shouldn't be feeling what you are feeling, i'm not saying you should. But what you do need to do is learn to not regret the desicion.

Jules replied on August 30th, 2006

Moderator

Re: Update From Me- Sorry Its Been So Long

buzzybee wrote:

as at present it is not an informed choice, hence the reason your not allowed to see your scan.

.I agree, I think it's mad that the scan is not shown to women. I don't mean it should be shoved in their face or anything but why the secrecy? A woman needs to know exactly what it is she is agreeing to have done.

I hope you find some peace, .Buzzy.

sandyallen replied on August 30th, 2006

Extremely EHEALTHy

I am sorry that you were not shown the scan. I don't know what is going on in some of these places! You should have had better counseling, I guess that some of these places just want your money and that is it. I hope that you can find a good support system and your relationship grows stronger each day. Please forgive yourself! Likde you said "we learn from our mistakes". Eventhough mine were had to be abortions ot still hurts but you can still move on and maybe who knows, their might have been a reason for it and we will never know why. Whatever the situation is I hope that in time that you can move on, even though you may not forget it might be time to move on with your life because as .Eiri said it is done and you need to learn to not regret the situation. Please, don't be so hard on yourself! If you need help it is there for you ad we are here for you too!
Every female should have the choice of abortion or continuing on with the pregnancy as they might have a legitimate why they are having the abortion and just prefer not talking about it.
All the best to you!

Birch replied on August 30th, 2006

Supporter

I am so sorry buzzy and I hope you find some peace. Forgive yourself.

And yes, I agree with every single word you said. Pre-abortion counseling needs to be more comprehensive.

Try to remember how hard it was when you were pregnant, how you felt, and how you may feel now if you still were. You may have been terribly resentful of the children you'd have, and what they did to your life. It's hard to say...It's a hard lesson to learn.

You are not alone!

BuzzyBee replied on August 31st, 2006

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Re: Update From Me- Sorry Its Been So Long

stillherelosers wrote:

buzzybee wrote:

thankyou all for your help and advice and im just sorry I didnt listen to some of you a little bit more.

then that was your choice not to. You were well informed, yet you now choose to blame others. Makes me wonder if you were even pregnant in the first place.

yep thats it I wrote all these posts, not because I needed help or advice but simply because im not busy enough studying law, holding down a job and all my housework. So I thought id post caca on here. Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. I know what I have been through and so does my family so your opinion is quite usless to me. person!

Yes I made my choices, but what I meant was I never realised it would be this painful is what I meant.

Birch replied on August 31st, 2006

Supporter

Re: Update From Me- Sorry Its Been So Long

Hey buzzy,

a question...Had you been shown the scan, would you have changed your mind?

Thanks.

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