Depression Forum - Extremely Low Self Esteem And No Friends

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Q: Extremely Low Self Esteem And No Friends

asked by: unwanted on August 28th, 2006

New User

Hello everyone

how are you all doing today? I basically joined this forum as I had chronic bad breath and was hoping to find a cure and came upon this message board so I thought I would post here. It kills me to say that my low self esteem is due to my parents. Ever since I was 12 they have been telling me:
- how ugly I am
- how worthless I am
- how they wish they never had me
- how they wish god would take people that are useless in this world instead of taking good people
- how they are ashamed of me
- how I have no talent
- how I will never be happy in life
- how everyone hates me

i am currently 20 and believe that every word they say is true. I spend all my time on the computer chatting. I really seem to enjoy doing that. I have no real friends even though I go to college. This is due to my bad breath. I have suffered from it since the age of 14 and there is nothing anyone can do to get rid of it. I guess that is another reason why I am so unhappy. On top of that I suffer from a skin condition where I am covered in dark spots from head to toe and nothing can be done about that either. I really do not know what I want from my life :( and I am constantly depressed. The only life I have is my life online ( i'm madly in love with someone online (even though I met him many many years ago and no longer talk to him) - yes I know it's pathetic )

i also suffer from severe mood swings. One minute i'm happy and the very next minute i'm either crying or being a health forum to someone(online of course). I really do not know what is wrong with me or why I was made this way. It is said that everyone is there for a purpose but am I there for purpose? I don't think so.

When I am around peopel I seriously feel liek i'm goign to die because I start to sweat and feel all sick. I hate it. Its worse when i'm only with one person. Even thinking about it makes my heart beat faster.

I've also had a few jobs but noone seemed to like me due to my horrible looks and bad breath. I cry almost every day and i'm just constantly depressed. I don't even know why I am posting here but yeah I just felt like talking to someone.

Thank you to anyone that bothered to read this. I hope you have a good day.

Replies(4)

pineystein

replied on August 28th, 2006

New User

Low Self Esteem

In my experience I find that low self esteem comes from
the type of verbal abuse you described.
You are a victim of abuse. Do not let them hurt you.
Find a therapist who specializes in abuse victims
you will recover
good luck david s.

ccris123

replied on September 6th, 2006

Experienced User

My parents did the same thing to me. No matter how hard I tried or how good I did, I wasn't good enough. I finally realized that it was because I had succeeded in surpassing them in everything I did. Now, i'm stuck being stressed out all the time by being a perfectionist. I'm so hard on myself, I sometimes get annoyed with my own criticism. As for the bad breath, go see an ear nose and throat doctor. Usually, it's something to do with an infection in the sinuses or in your gums. That part can be cured. And if you're nice, then it shouldn't matter what you look like. The more someone likes you, the better you look and the more they care. Trust me, I used to date a guy who looked like mr. Burns off the simpsons. I didn't see it until his personality got ugly. I wish you the best of luck. We're all here if you need us.

shortygirl24

replied on September 6th, 2006

New User

Oh my gosh, it sounds like your parents are treating you really badly and unfair unfair! And that is abuse what they are doing to you, it is not right for your parents to sit and belittle you like that, your much to good of a person to take that from them, and the reson why you may have low self asteem is beacsue of what tehy are doing to you, the are planting all the things in your head and making you think that you a bad person, and your not!!! Dont satisfy them by thinking that your not good enogh,thats just only what they want you to think.... Just show them and prove to them that you are good enogh and that you are smart... You really dont have to be taking that kind of emotional abuse, you are too good for that , and nobody deserves to be treated unfairly by their parents of anyone,yes and things like breath could easily be fixed, people should not just you beacuse of that, im sure you would be a great friend, and that is what they are missing out on ...Please always remember that you do not have to take this emotional abuse, what you parents are doing is wrong..And you deserve to be treated nicely and equaly by everyone, and that your a special person, no matter what!!! I used to have low self asteem to but I got some help for it, and im all better wich I hope someday too that you feel more confident about your self and see that your a great person inside and out, and they are really really wrong , please dont take abuse from anyone!!! Not even you parents..You deserve a happy life! And I hope that you will get the happyness you deserve ~hold your head up with confidence and smile girl~ you deserve much better!!!!! Take care :)

johnR

replied on September 6th, 2006

Experienced User

Try and join a cbt group at your college and learn how to be your own best friend and see how unture and cruel all those old messgaes your family put into you are and not just keeping you down but are exagerated to begin with and self fulfilling. Once you learn how to catch the thinking errors (in cbt) you will build new pathways in your brain that reinforce you and build your self esteem. Good luck and I know you can do it because I am doing it now and my family sucked a lot like yours sounds like it does.

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