Scared and confused-you are welcome and I am on here now daily as I have had a lot of kind women be helpful to me, I plan to stay on and help other women. If ever you need to talk, I am here! It sounds to me like you do not have the option of having the baby and going it on your own. Sounds like if you have the baby he will demand to be a part of it's life, am I right? If this is one of the reasons you two are having marriage troubles in the first place, because he wants a biological child. I can understand a man wanting this, but if it is not what you want, there comes that point in your life where you have to live your life for you, and not the people around you. For many people, myself included, making other people happy is what makes me happy, but huge life decisions are not the time to do that. It should be what you want. If he really wants this, then it's best for him to move on and find it with someone who wants the same, especially since I have the feeling there are way more underlying issues that you are not willing to address on this website. How is the mentality of your first child? I just wonder, because it doesn't sound like they've been treated well by this man. As far as not wanting to start over, believe me, I understand that. My husband's vasectomy was/is still scheduled for sept. 1st. We found out august 14th that I was pregnant. Our daughter is almost in kindergarten. We just bought a house, are finally financially stable, soon to be even more so when we lose the close to five hundred dollars worth of day care we pay for each month, and found out raising our daughter so far that she is all that we needed. We want to be able to offer her a future. Not to mention that the early years of her life were very difficult for us. Some people would just call us selfish, and that is fine. But both working full time, wanting to have some resemblence of the life and freedom we had before, fighting over the littlest things, who got more free time, who did more work, etc. We realized that it would be best for us to not have another child. We had been pressured by many friends and family as she started getting older to have another child, and told them all we would not. I will not have another child just to give my child a playmate. If I had another child it would be because I wanted it with everything in me and would love it the same as I had my first. Don't let anyone pressure you into such a huge decision!!! But please think long and hard, no one wants to regret what they ended up choosing down the road. Although sometimes all roads lead to some kind of heartache.