Let me start off by saying I am doing this to get an opinion from people to find out if I have a problem or if something is wrong with me. What I wanna do is get on here different days and kinda type what happened on a particular day and what I was feeling etc............
Well today was the first day back to school for me, im a senior and im starting to notice problems I had in my earlier years of highschool resurfising.For instance, I find myself going to sit in the back of the class and not talking to anyone,just sitting there watching everyone else socialize. And its not like I dont have friends,i actually have alot.Not to say im popular but I am friends with alot of people who are.Ive alse noticed that when I walk I focus on how im walking because the way im walking feels abnormal,it feels like everyone is watching me walk funny and I dont know what to do with my hands and I start putting them in my pockets grabbing my bookbag strapps or acting like im scratching my leg.Its really pissing me off that im thinking this way because all I can think about is the fact that im a senior in highschool and im acting like a freshmen.I had to stand up today in front of the class to introduce myself(it was part of the teachers plan to get everyone to know everyone else)and right in the middle of talking I feel this huge lump in my throat and I go to cough. I start feeling lightheaded and I can tell by everyones faces and the tone in my voice that I must have had, that they knew I was nervous which made me all the more panicky.I dont understand why I am this way and it doesnt seem to matter what I tell myself I always end up being this way..Well thats all im going to type for now..Ive got loads more to put on here to help you further get into my mind.What ive put on here so far is just the tip of the iceburg. :)