What Goes Through a Bipolar Person's Mind? (Page 4)

My story is little dramatic, i wanted to say lol but i know its not funny. I have always been a person who was organized and understanding like normal people. I had dreams and desires in my life which i always wanted to chase.My life was at pace,dad gave me a car, house and everything which could make me happy and in return i studied my ass off to graduate and then post graduate. everything was fine.. I used to think that i m the most happiest person on this earth. Everything was so positive and perfect and if it was not, I'll make sure I'll make it smooth.I always used to have fun. let it be any situation i used to make it happening. BUT ( a very big BUT)from past six months m facing lot of trouble living my life, just don't enjoy anything now. no music , no cars nothing. i just think like a psyco all the time. anxiety is always there, even if i go for a normal walk i get butterflies in my stomach, i ask myself "dude , what is wrong with you" and there is no answer to that Question. I have this feeling that m going mad day by day, i told my friends and family too , but they are like "you are fine it's just that you are thinking a lot". Darn! how can i just stop thinking. I read about bipolar , I think i m victim of it but m not sure. My Relationship is going really bad and i always put blame on me because i think m the one with fault .. but i feel that the girl m dating is using me. i just don't want to feel negative about anything.
Now m 22 and done with my Post graduation, m sitting jobless. My family is supporting me and m scared to work with this stupid anxiety which is killing me inside. I even got suicidal thought's .it's like m shivering all the time and getting irrational thoughts.
Can anyone help me .... i don't know whats wrong with me. Bipolar disorder, OCD,some anxiety issues, or m just sitting and doing nothing that's why m getting this. all i know is there is something seriously wrong with me!
Please HELP me before i put my suicidal thoughts into action!

DO NOT EVER get involved with a bi polar person. They will wreck your life and hurt you more than you thought was possible. Bi polar sufferers should only be allowed to have a realtionship with another bi polar..that way they can ruin each others lives and leave the rest of us alone.

That's not very helpful and you could argue that you shouldn't become involved with anyone who has some sort of health problem that will impact on their partner's lives. This however is unrealistic and humans by their very nature have various issues be it personality disorders, addictions, bipolar, or plain dogmatism. I am bipolar and have been stable for many years with medication. I have a full time profession helping people with mental health issues and have been in a loving relationship for 6 years. I understand your point of view and I feel that I would have been a nightmare to go out with whilst my bipolar was running riot however after a prolonged period of stability I am enjoying a loving relationship with a fantastic woman. Please don't write people with bipolar off...

nice post but how do you help people with bp? I am on meds and seeing a psychiatrist every other week and a counselor every other week. They want me to start group therapy next week too but nothing seems to be helping. I am ruining my career and worse, my family.

I think that the things that helped me were a combination of medication and consistent support from the people that were really close to me.
For my depression Effexor worked well and now I take Carbamazepine and the smallest dose of Olanzapine, the combination of which keep me stable.
It took quite a while for me to find a combination of meds that helped stabilize my moods however when I found them I stuck to them.
I also read up on my diagnosis and learnt to self manage to an extent (with the guidance of health professionals). Part of this includes managing my sleep patterns and not drinking as these both impact on my mood. I also try not to make my life unnecessarily stressful (if that's at all possible).
The problem is that it all took time and patience.
Good luck.

I disagree Moley. I say run for your life. Just because you are stable now is no gaurantee for the future. My life was pure hell for over 15 years. My wife was a nightmare and I sttod by her the entire time. Guess what Moley, she LEFT ME. The only person that cared for her. She is out running around having sex like a teenager. I would tell anyone to NOT GET INVOLVED!!!!!!! This disease is terminal and very unlike diabetes. To even say that is absolutely ridiculous. They are nothing alike. Diabetics don't destroy lives.

wow...i am trying to determine if my family would be better off without the daily pain my bp causes. Your remarks make me feel hopeless like I am right to walk away from my family for their sake.

Don't walk away.......I think being honest with your family about what's going on inside you....not shutting them out....and making every effort to manage your bipolar with meds, therapy, etc, is all they can ask or would want of you. Honoring that committment to your family and each of you being there for each other is important. I'm sure there will be good and bad days, but don't give up and give in to condition. I loved someone for years with bipolar and would still be by his side if he'd made an effort to manage his bipolar....true effort DOES count. Giving in to it and using it as an excuse for lies, cheating, verbal abuse, disappearing for weeks, etc is what destroys relationships. Please don't give up and walk out on your family....it can be worked out!

Please don't... With some help you can manage your illness. Walking away from them is not the answer for you or them and you will stand a better chance of recovery with the help of people that love you.

@ BnewlyP2: I am newly diagnosed bipolar too. I know your pain, the desire to run from it to spare your family the continuous up & down's. BUT DON'T DO IT!! THEIR LIVES WILL BE CHANGED FOREVER!! Please call your doctor; a change or increase in meds will help.

To the haters who have been "hurt" by bipolars: don't judge us because we are sick. It is hard on our loved ones, I agree. If you feel the need to leave a bipolar person, then just do it. Do not come on this forum and blast us. It is not fair.

I don't want this disease. I didn't ask for it. I can't even work anymore I am so disabled by this. Do you even know how shameful that is for someone who has been for the last 25 years been productive and independent to gradually lose it like this?

Do you think I want my kids to see me like this? Don't you think I worry about one of them having it?

Thank GOD!!! I have a fantastic spouse who is supportive, strong and intuitive. Thank GOD I still have GOOD days instead of just all bad.
I am stable now but because of the nature of my former career I can not return to it.
At least I am home for my kids, which is a purpose much more important than a dollar sign.
But I could not have done this without the support of my man. He is my rock.

Great post and thank you for responding. I am so lost. I am recently diagnosed but have hidden the illness well over the years. I am now 41 years old and am trying honesty with my doctors for the first time ever. I spiraled out of control and right now am at rock bottom. I have lost my job and almost my family. I still try to hide it from my kids but know that I need to be honest with them as well. I worry ALL the time about my children having this illness and feel extreme guilt as of late that my daughter has begun showing signs. Of course, I ran her in for help immediately - wish I had done the same for myself. I, too, feel as though I am unable to return to my former high-stress career. My husband says he wants to be supportive and stand by me but I am having a lot of trouble finding resources for him in my area. I barely understand my disease so how can I expect him to without some professional assistance?

It sounds like you are very lucky.

yes they are person but your person too .. we just dont leave a bipolar person, at lease we try that the relationship with him/her will worked out. But you have your own life to decide if its over, and @adnor is right.. dealing with bipolar person is risky, stressful you living with not normal life. you cant even go to the mall without worrying about him/her, can't even spend fun. It so hard.

yes, it is very hard. Sometimes I don't think I can live with it any longer so I take a break. Thank God I can.I go stay with a friend for an overnight when I can. I know it no picnic for my spouse either. Like the other person who posted said they didn't ask for it. I think it's like physical illnesses with respect to how people deal with it. Some patients will not look after themselves when they have diabetes or heart disease without having a mental illness. My spouse has all three of them. I used to worry terribly about his health. Now I try not to knowing I will deal with problems as they come up. Can't make him look after his physical health. Now I do what I can and take a break when I can

I have a close friend who is bipolar. He is very much like the descriptions here. I love him and have tried to guide him to therapy and meds, but he is non-compliant.

Can someone explain to me why bipolar people are so uncooperative about taking meds? They are clearly suffering, yet won't do what it takes to help themselves.

Well i'm bipolar and i am not verbally abusive. I am the one that gets taking advantage of. You guys cant stereotype bipolar people saying they're bad people... and to not have a relationship with them. Thats all i'm looking for. Someone who will love me for me...

If your partner is bipolar and isnt treating u right... By all means.. Do what is best for you

I have been married to my husband for 30 years. Four years into the marriage, he was finally dx as bp two. We definitely had some very difficult patches. I remember walking on eggshells and dealing with a lot of over reaction to things. The main reason, I stuck it out with him was because he has been completely medication compliant since being diagnosed. He also did go for therapy. It took a few years for him to really gain insight into how being bp affected him and those around him. I still remember several years ago during a couples session, my husband saying "I don't get it but lately everyone around me is acting really crazy. It is really frustrating me." He paused got a light bulb moment look on his face and so OHHH, I guess it is really my perception, not everyone else. About 15 years ago, he appologized to me for "acting like such a jerk." He also thanked me for sticking by him. It has been a long road. He still has his moments, but he is so much easier to live with and much more able to moderate his reactions to situations. I think that the key is that he has totally accepted that he will be on meds for the rest of his life and continues to see the therapist. Now he only goes once a month because that is all he really needs.

My 24 year old son was also dx bp2 about 14 years ago. He also had a tough time for awhile. In middle school he hit rock bottom and lost all of his friends. After finding the right combination of medication and a good therapist, he is doing much better. He
is completely med compliant. He has said that he knows that he has to take medications the rest of his life. He can't believe how out of control his behavior was in middle school and said that he never wants to be like that again. It is interesting that he says he is NOT bipolar but has bipolar. He stated what he means by that is he will not let bipolar define who he is.

Things are not perfect. I don't know if I would have married my husband if I had a crystal ball and knew how difficult things would be for awhile, but a lot of hard work and patience has really paid off. My husband is very loyal and would do anything to help his family. I do trust him completely.

my boyfriend is bipolar, refuses to gets treatment, leaves me and shuts me out, has cheated on me and told me it's my fault, i go up and above and beyond to be there for him, offered to pay for and go with him (if he wanted me to go with him) for therapy. his most recent and maybe my last go round with him was when i told him that i need to be able to trust him if we are going to be together and that he has to make sure he is not doing anything behind my back. he apologized, told me how sorry he was, even cried telling me he loves me and wants to make me his fiancee. i told him, watch, now that i called you on this and you apologized, you will make me pay by leaving me. he promised he would not, dropped me at work the next day, and left. i found out he left when he was not answering my texts/calls. i had a feeling he had taken off so i left work, got in a cab, went home and sure enough, all his stuff was gone. finally had some response to my many emails, voicemails, and texts telling him how much i loved him and to please get some therapy so we don't have to keep going through this. he finally sends me some texts telling me to f___ myself, i'm all about me, never done anything for him and that i'm a sick twisted b____ if i think he never loved me...after all of that, i still cry and miss him almost daily. i am at my wits end and am tired of being emotionally abused by him b/c he knows how much i love him.

my boyfriend is bipolar, refuses to gets treatment, leaves me and shuts me out, has cheated on me and told me it's my fault, i go up and above and beyond to be there for him, offered to pay for and go with him (if he wanted me to go with him) for therapy. his most recent and maybe my last go round with him was when i told him that i need to be able to trust him if we are going to be together and that he has to make sure he is not doing anything behind my back. he apologized, told me how sorry he was, even cried telling me he loves me and wants to make me his fiancee. i told him, watch, now that i called you on this and you apologized, you will make me pay by leaving me. he promised he would not, dropped me at work the next day, and left. i found out he left when he was not answering my texts/calls. i had a feeling he had taken off so i left work, got in a cab, went home and sure enough, all his stuff was gone. finally had some response to my many emails, voicemails, and texts telling him how much i loved him and to please get some therapy so we don't have to keep going through this. he finally sends me some texts telling me to f___ myself, i'm all about me, never done anything for him and that i'm a sick twisted b____ if i think he never loved me...after all of that, i still cry and miss him almost daily. i am at my wits end and am tired of being emotionally abused by him b/c he knows how much i love him.