Hey chengi,

first and foremost, make sure that you want to do this, for yourself, and it's a decision you can live with. Your post here doesn't convince me you're doing it for _you_. Your hubby sounds like...Well, like he's not so thoughtful of a person, at least in this regard, and you may end up resenting him for this. And since he apparently can't face the decision he's a part of, and can't face reality, maybe this isn't the best decision for him. Who knows?

I had a surgical abortion, so i'm not one to help you much with the medical abortion needs and stuff. However, I would hope that the clinic you're going to would give you this information.
I have read that it is best to go through this process in the bathroom. If dad is determined to be away, which he shouldn't be for chrissake's, but hey, whatever, take the kids out to the zoo or something so you can be left alone. Do you have a friend you can have over? I don't think you should be alone.

Best wishes to you.

Why isn't the abortion going to be done in a hospital? I thought even medical abortions were done in a hospital? At least then the father would have no option but to stay at home and look after the boys.

Ur..... I know this has nothing to do with your question, but why exactly are you with this guy? Who brings home the money? You'd be better off on welfare and working towards an education than with this guy.

From what I read, she is going to the hospital, and she doesn't want to leave her kids alone home with her husband because he can't take care of them right. But she can't take them ot a daycare or something because her husband refuses to help her find one? I think?

Timing wise and all that, it is what it is. 'want' would be to have never had an 'uh-oh' in the first place.

I've been talking to him on and off through the day, e-mailed him. He wants to pretend that this will be ohhh la-la, just a walk in the park. When I try to get him to start working on things, he gets mad.

What I said to him in an e-mail was to not make a game plan for how we're going to deal with the next few days is to set ourselves up for an even worse experience. I also mentioned that by him not being more present, and someone to lean on he is making this something he is doing to me rather than with me.

The difficulties on childcare are that we in the last few months moved to a new house, in a new state due to a transfer in his job. We haven't really established a network yet, so there are no 'friends' that don't fall into the aquaintance category.

Nobody that we could go, hey. Can you take the boys for a couple days. Nobody that we know well enough to be comfortably vague about why.

I just want all of this over already, and the earliest the surgical would be available would be late next week. I can't take another week of being all day sick, waiting, dizzy and stressed out. I still have to take care of two other kids through another week of this otherwise. I barely got my oldest dropped off at school this morning. I can't do another week of this.

On top of this i'm worrying what they will eat and all that good stuff. Distractions I guess. I wouldn't want to do the surgical without him there either, and not so much about leaving him with the kids, but me having to do this alone. That and I feel like he needs to experience the consequences of this as well. I shouldn't be the only one dealing with this.

It's not so much that I disagree with hubbs on things, just that I strongly take issue with his bedside manner. I know it's because he's not dealing very well either, and the sight of a paper cut makes him pass out.

Long story short this is most likely his way of trying to keep a distance because he's a chicken caca. It would be nice if he could get over it for a few days though.

Meanwhile i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to deal with being stuck in a 3x5 room for however long, without going nuts from either the pain, or having nothing to think about but the decision and what an insenitive prick hubbs is.

It's not that he's malicious. Just dumb.

We're doing the go to dr, get the first part of the medication, go home and take the second part version.

I'm not worried about who'll watch the kids when I go in to get the medication.

I'm worried how hubbs will be able to keep the kids quiet and far far away and stay with me all at the same time after i've taken the second portion of the medication. Which because of the timing of the appt. Will be in the evening and go through the night.

He would watch them no problem, but I want him to stay with me.

I don't trust me to deal with them kindly should they walk through a door at a bad moment.

I'm not sure if it's that he has this twisted blind faith in my ability to deal and take care of myself, or that he's just that oblivious.

So are you having a medical abortion then, and not a surgical one? You're having the kind that causes a miscarriage, correct, instead of having the doctors remove it from your uterus in the clinic?

The bleeding is going to last several weeks from what i've heard; but the heaviest bleeding will of course be initially. There really should only be one day that you'll be feeling the worst; during when your uterus is contracting to push out the pregnancy. After that, it's just like a very long period. Have a heating pad and painkillers available, and you should be fine :) some of the other women on here have had medical abortions, and they can share their stories with you. A surgical abortion really is faster, less likely to fail, and the recovery time is quicker too. If the medical abortion doesn't totally evacuate the pregnancy, then you'll have to go in for a surgical one anyway.

Here in the us, the medication abortion is done at home..Very few hospitals even do abortions, there are done at outpatient surgical facilities/clinics.

Medical abortion is very bloody and crampy, and can last on average about 4 hours.. So make sure to have your pain medicine in your body before the second drug is used..

I have had 1 medical and 2 surgical abortions..I prefer surgical because of the ease, and it is over with in 3-5 minutes..There is less blood too..