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singledad Experienced User
August 22nd, 2006
I'm going to invite you all to join okcupid.Com, google it up for the link - it's free, and not really sex oriented, most people don't even mention it in their profiles, it's just a way to meet people - my profile is under imperfecti.

I've made a few friends locally, a couple of them are married people, just friends - I haven't actually had any luck finding potential partners, but then I live in the middle of nowhere, so you might do better.

Anyway, it's a pretty cool site, they have tests you can take to determine compatability, and you can even make up your own tests - have fun!

I also posted this in the "single and unhappy" forum, i'm not associated with this site in any way other than being member, I just like the site.

My sad story is, that I got a divorce, and took sole custody of the kids, the mother is simply too unreliable - it's had it's rough times, but I haven't had any regrets at all that i'm doing the right thing.

The one liitle problem: I can't get out, i'm pretty much stuck here at the house - I have the days while they're at school, but the oldest has downs, and it's been tough trying to find a baby sitter although he's a pretty gentle little guy. Anyway, i'm not getting any younger, and not to sound desperate or anything, but i'd like to be in another relationship before I die - so any thoughts or suggestions, i'm all ears.

If, for instance, there are any pregnant women with no place to else to turn, we could help each other out - I don't mean it to sound so sleazy, but if nothing else it would be someone around so I could get out - i'm a responsible adult, not a predator, and i've raised these kids from babies virually alone - so I hope nobody takes it the wrong way.

I can't seem to find any single parent groups around here, and i'm not sure what to try next, short of accosting every woman I see in the grocery store who isn't wearing a ring.
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Spirit
replied August 23rd, 2006
Experienced User
You could always try starting your own singles group in your area.....Get people to register through the local paper(?) and then when you have enough bodies get it rolling.....Chances are there are other people in the same boat as you. Nothing like face to face meetings......Not sure if I buy this whole online dating stuff......As anyone can pretend to be someone else and it's sooo impersonal......Probably a little to easy to dump someone.......Just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen?!?

Keep looking for the babysitter......And when you find her.......Treat her like gold so she don't run away...........................In the same situation......2 children.......Youngest with autism...........
Congrats on being a great dad!......................But you deserve to have fun too.....................The ladies ain't gonna find you if you don't go out there...................So first step.....Leave the house. :)
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Melissa_20
replied August 25th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Aww,you sound like a great guy and a great father too! You shouldn't have any problem meeting a woman! Like spirit said,and you know you just need to get out of the house every once in a while.Are there any sitters in the newspaper you can call?Why don't you ask the mother for help with him?They are her kids too ya know.She should take some responsibility
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singledad
replied August 25th, 2006
Experienced User
Uh, the problem is not hat I don't want to get out of the house, it's that I can't, trust me, if I could I would, and I do, every chance I get.

Their mother takes them when it's convenient for her, and I can't just drop them off, I don't want them over there if she's drinking.


So far singles site have been the best solution, not everybody is for real of course, but on the other hand, you're not really losing anything if it doesn't work out, wasted some time emailing back and forth.


Main problem seems to be there's relatively few women locally in the 30 to 40 age range, I live in a relatively low population density area of the country.
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Melissa_20
replied August 25th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
singledad wrote:
uh, the problem is not hat I don't want to get out of the house, it's that I can't, trust me, if I could I would, and I do, every chance I get.
oh sorry if you misunderstood,i wasn't thinking you would not get out,lol I know its that you can't.Thjats why I said something about your x taking them.Does she have any visitation at all where she has to pick them up at this said time or what?
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singledad
replied August 25th, 2006
Experienced User
No mellisa, she has visitation, but only takes them when it's convenient for her - sunday nights or during the week usually, which I have to put up with or they wouldn't get to see her at all. She is usually drinking on the weekends, and is generally in no condition to take care of the kids.
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Melissa_20
replied August 25th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
singledad wrote:
no mellisa, she has visitation, but only takes them when it's convenient for her - sunday nights or during the week usually, which I have to put up with or they wouldn't get to see her at all. She is usually drinking on the weekends, and is generally in no condition to take care of the kids.
aww,how sad is that?She's a mom,i would think she would want to take care of her children.Was she like this before you had kids?
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sandyallen
replied August 25th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
It is sooo sad to see a female do that to her own children, not just to the regular child but to the down's syndrome child as they are soo loving and ask so very little. I should not be judging your ex-wife maybe she does have a disease with her alchohol but it is still sad and maybe she has post partum syndrome but I would not want to leave her alone with them either, if that is the problem, I hope she gets the help she needs and you find someone that will make you happy and I hope that you can find a good babysitter, someone that you can trost so that you can start having some breakes that you deserve! Have you thought about moving closer to town? You sound like a super good person!
I wish you and your children all the best and I wish I was there to help!
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singledad
replied August 25th, 2006
Experienced User
Thanks sandy, it is sad, and hard having to try and explain it to the guys sometimes. My mother in law (exmil?) is very supportive and so is my family and that helps.

I'm living in the most densly populated are in this part of the country - the nearest city of any size is about 200 miles away. There is probobly sombody nearby, I just haven't found her.

I'm lucky enough to have a job that allows me time to take care of the kids, so i'm pretty much here indefinitely.
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