Hi..Im a 19 year old male. Looking back at life, I realize I acted like I was gay without realizing it. In grade 8 I had virtually no guy friends, but plenty of friends who were girls... And yet I never really attempted to do any with any of them even tho they were attractive. I wonder was it because I was to nervous, to immature or perhaps gay.
I played piano as a kid and as I got into high school I was always involved in band, and choir. I told myself I did choir because there was nothing but girls.. But maybe I was showing homosexual tendencies. Ive always felt like I was different from all the other guys, but I thought I was more mature and down to earth. They were always ass holes to the girls... I tried to be the nice guy. In high school I was always afraid to get beat up even though im a pretty big guy, I wasnt very aggressive, but I was very health forum like a girl. Ive been attracted to girls before, but it seems I would desperately liek a girl, until she liked me.. Then I wouldnt like her any more and move on to the next one. Ive been in 4 situations where the intention has been to have intercourse, and in each, there has been an erection prollem that has made it impossible.. I get semi hard, enough for maybe oral but not for satisfying penetration.. I always had excuses for these times ie.. Ive had to much to drink. When I masterbate I think of women, I look at women in porn, but I am into anal with women, which leads me to believe that my true interest is anal with men, anyways.. Sory for the long post... Any insight would be appreciated