Hi, i'm new to this sort of thing so
please bear with me.
My mom was diagnosed with ms in june of
2000, at the age of 53. At the same time,
she found out that she also has type ii
diabetes. This news hit her (and everyone
else) pretty hard. She went through a lot
of different treatment types for the ms,
including steroid ivs, which she is
allergic to. They finally settled on the
one thing that seems to keep her
exacerbations to a minimum - daily
copaxone injections. She doesnt take
insulin for the diabetes.
In a nutshell, she went through a
separation from her husband, who was/is
emotionally and verbally abusive as well
as a raging alcoholic. This was their
second try at marriage to each other, but
that's a whole other story. In short,
when they were together, he was so
unsupportive of her and her needs that it
angered our entire family. I was always
the one who would pick up the slack when
mom needed something. I drove her to
appointments, helped her around the house,
bought her little "just because" gifts to
keep her smiling, as well as many other
things that hubby wouldn't or just didn't
do. I was (and still am) the only one who
makes sure I have a piece of candy in my
purse at all times, just in case i'm with
mom and she starts to feel like she's
"crashing".
These days, my mom is getting deeper and
deeper into self pity. She is not the
same person I grew up with. Of course she
is older, but it just seems as though when
she was diagnosed six years ago, that she
now had a reason to just sit. That's all
she does. She did move into her own
apartment, which i'm pleased about
(although i've heard from a reliable
source that she is still involved somewhat
with the should be ex hubby). She now
lives closer to my grandparents, which
they all enjoy. However-all she does is
sit in her little apartment and watch tv.
The daily program guide is how she plans
her day. She was recently diagnosed with
emphysema (smoker since age 10), and was
told by her doc to quit smoking or
else...She did...For about a month. Now
she sits, smokes and watches tv. But
there is always something wrong so that
she can't do something or go somewhere.
I've been trying to get her to do things
fro herself, but i'm only met with "i just
can't depend on you for anything!"
all I try to do is keep her in the living
world, because it seems like she was
diagnosed and jumped right into her coffin
, and now has just been waiting for
someone to come and close it. I refuse to
play that game, therefore I "don't like
her"anymore, I "think she's making it all
up" and she "can't depend" me.
I am an only child so I really don't have
anyone to commiserate with who really
knows mom and our true history. I've been
trying to "google" famous people and
celebrities who live with ms and another
disease as well but found very little. I
just want to show her some sort of proof
that her diagnosis was not her "death
sentence" but should have been the 'wake
up and make the most of your life while
you are still able" call. I want to show
her that people in her situation can still
be functioning and successful members of
society, and how they did it. Does anyone
have any feedback or info? I'd really
like my "old" mom back and i'd like my
kids to remember grandma as she can be,
not the self pitying hermit she has turned
herself into. She doesn't take care of
herself at all. She depends soley on
medication to get her through everyday
(last I knew about, she takes about 18
pills a day for various different things,
and also for the side effects some of them
cause), her diet is terrible, and that's
how she is supposed to be keeping the
diabetes in check, she still smokes like a
stack and sits in her one bedroom
apartment all day long with the windows
closed and the curtains drawn. It's like
she checked out already.
Please help.
Thanks,
jojar
