Bluedot, I can feel your pain!
When I read your post, it's like I was
listening to myself.
I've just gone to the gyno about this...
He said that earlier that day, he had 3
women, all with this problem. I wanted
him to make sure, first of all, that there
was nothing medically wrong with me.
(here's what he explained to me...
Perhaps it's the reason for your pain
too.) if there's no reason medically, it
could be said that all the pain was my own
doing - that is... When I anticipate sex,
and anticipate the pain, I tense up, I
brace myself. Even unvoluntarity,
unconciously, but it tenses the muscle
right at the entrance to the vagina.
He said that the best way for me to have
sex and get used to the feeling of sex is
to spread my legs very wide apart.
Normally when I go to the gyno, the pelvic
exam really hurts with that thing they put
in there. But he showed me that if my
legs are spread as wide as I can, there's
no pain. It doesn't allow that thing to
come in contact with the muscle in the
vagina, it doesn't tense it up, doesn't
freak me out... Doesn't start the idea
rolling to expect pain.
Since then, i've had sex two wonderful
times with my boyfriend - and for the
first time ever in my life it felt good.
There was still a little bit of pain, but
this is really the first time that I could
fully have sex, and of course, it's going
to hurt a woman's first time anyway.
The best position was for me to kneel on
the floor, bent over forwards onto a
couch. Or stand next to a bed with my
legs spread really wide (bf conveniently
tied them apart). My arms were either
tied or held out in front of me so I
couldn't reach down and stop his penis
from going into me, which is my first
instinct at the first tinge of pain. I
find if I just go with it, relax, savor
the things that feel good, it begins to
feel wonderful...
